Thank you for a thorough explaination.

1. Try to avoid slang in your writing, such as "a whole bunch of...." They confuse,annoy and discourage your readers.
2. Never put a comma before that-induced clauses, such as "that the poet vividly and incisively...". Besides, the clause led by "that" in your sentense doesn't modify "envisagement".
3. More than several cases, I found, in your sentences, the subjects do not agree with predicates,especially in relatively longer sentences.
4. Tense. Such as this one, "After I wake up, I will only see..."

Ok, enough hammers from me for today.

所有跟帖： 

• 回複：Thank you for a thorough explaination. -sportwoman- ♀ (1031 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 16:45:51

• 多謝鯊魚老師！ -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 16:47:58

• the slang I use will annoy and discourage my readers? -sportwoman- ♀ (173 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:00:11

• It does stand out in that sentence -非文學青年- ♀ (72 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:13:08

• Thanks wenqing,so what should I use? I am desperate -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:30:26

• I am not sure about the usage of the word envisagement. -非文學青年- ♀ (107 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:36:38

• 撤了，小曼，讓shark給出出主意 -非文學青年- ♀ (70 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:37:58

• Thank you wenqing I mean Imagination, I think -sportwoman- ♀ (239 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:43:00

• quite a lot/much can be applied maybe? -sportwoman- ♀ (0 bytes) () 05/16/2012 postreply 17:22:20