我還是覺得那個who跟在performance之後不好。

來源: 非文學青年 於 2011-07-24 22:01:03 [] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 閱讀數 : (661 bytes)

現在覺得弄成一句也行，你看呢？

Delivering an Oscar-caliber performance, Angelina Jolie totally disappeared into her role as a heart-broken but strong-willed mom， who never gave up her hope in rescuing her kidnapped son and had the guts to take on the whole corrupted LAPD to finally get the truth surfaced.

Although her son got kidnapped好像感覺邏輯上沒有轉折，這裏的although有點沒必要。

所有跟帖： 

• 短句好，長的頭暈 -selfselfself- ♂ 給 selfselfself 發送悄悄話 selfselfself 的博客首頁 (347 bytes) () 07/24/2011 postreply 22:44:40

• Good rewriting~ -lilac09- ♀ 給 lilac09 發送悄悄話 lilac09 的博客首頁 (579 bytes) () 07/25/2011 postreply 07:19:43

• I think yours conveys what I am trying to express. Much better t -lilac09- ♀ 給 lilac09 發送悄悄話 lilac09 的博客首頁 (0 bytes) () 07/25/2011 postreply 07:13:29

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