弗洛姆：‘Today we come across an individual who behaves like an automaton, who does not know or understand himself, and the only person that he knows is the person that he is supposed to be, whose meaningless chatter has replaced communicative speech, whose synthetic smile has replaced genuine laughter, and whose sense of dull despair has taken the place of genuine pain. Two statements may be said concerning this individual. One is that he suffers from defects of spontaneity and individuality which may seem to be incurable. At the same time it may be said of him he does not differ essentially from the millions of the rest of us who walk upon this earth.'
Stephen Covey: 'Sandra and I believe that our son's "socially impressive" accomplishments were more a serendipitous expression of the feelings he had about himself than merely a response to social reward. This was an amazing experience for Sandra and me, and a very instructional on in dealing with our other children and in other roles as well. '
豆豆的兒子 (摘自淑女司令博客）
豆豆：“你在班上得第一開心嗎？”
兒子：“開心，可不得也沒有不開心”
豆豆：“為什麽不想事事都得第一呢？比如你稍微認真些，就能滿分，作文多寫一頁
讀起來就好的多。。”
兒子：“為什麽非要得第一，要做得最好呢？”
豆豆：“這樣你會覺得很有成就感，很為自己驕傲呀”
兒子：“有了成就感又怎麽樣呢？我不得第一也很為自己驕傲呀”
豆豆：“有了成就感你會將來很成功，會很開心很幸福”
兒子一下子抓住這句話：“哈，這就是你們和我的不同。老實說我覺得你們大人很
可憐，你們自己不會開心，非得需要事業需要成就使自己快樂幸福。我不一樣，我已經很開心幸福了，不需要這些成就。。。。我將來可能不是最成功，可我覺得那不重要，我不會是最差的那種，而且我會一直開心”。
‘然後他以一種略帶憐憫的勝利的眼光看著我。’
