正文
當時是酒後隨意寫下的'漫記'。用的是英文。15個月過去，自己感覺到心情已經和當時不一樣了，好象平和了不少，知道隨遇，知道惜緣。心情不一樣了所以不想用中文重寫，偷偷懶。當時寫得隨意，任意識流動，想想不做任何改動為好。最近走廊的相關話題促使俺把它貼上來。
或有有緣者讀之。
西行漫記(3): A lonely Christmas
This is the end of 2005; I decided to go away for the Christmas, from School, from Dublin, from people I know. Well, just a decision.
Yes, I do have alternatives: Beatriz invited me to spend Christmas with her and her husband, Gabriel, mostly for religious reason; FB invited me to join his family for Christmas, mostly for business reason; Danny wanted me to go for lunch with her and Patrick, for their memories of Harbin; Liyan asked me to dinner and Poker in her place, mostly for friendship reason. Also, AMG called from London saying that I was in his mind and wished me a happy Christmas.
I am now the only guest in a hotel in Salthill, Galway; even the manager left for a family dinner in his mother’s. From watching TV, I realised that Christmas is basically for warmth and love, both of which must be very essential for humans. That’s why in this world we have, besides business networks, societies, families, and religions, all the means organizing individuals together. It cannot be unconditional love and warmth, I am sure. To be close, people share the same believes or interests: you hand over some freedom in trade of warmth, closeness, and love.
“We are on the one road,
share the one load,
we are on the road to God knows where.
we are on the one road,
it may be the wrong road,
but we are together
now who cares!”
Wolfe Tones is singing, On the one road.
Oh, So great to have an organization of whatsoever a name!
Unfortunately, I have serious difficulties to join the club-I cherish the freedom of exploring and learning. Come on, I am not crazy, just a person who had made a different choice.
I swam in Dublin Bay for Charity on Christmas day 2003, my first Christmas in a Catholic country. This year, I just did it again, 20 minutes ago in the Atlantic at Galway Bay. Now I’m writing this after drinking whiskey while sitting in the hot tub.
This morning during my seaside walk at around 10 o’ clock, I saw only two swimmers, one of which an ardent and pleasant lady. Then very quickly more people gathered at Blackrock diving point (there is a Blackrock in Galway, also a ‘Seapoint’ too!). I quickly ran back to hotel to put my swimming suit on inside. I joined the crowd at Blackrock, the water was a little bit deeper and colder for me, not yet a good swimmer, so I dipped into it 3 times, swam a little each time, without staying long inside. The sea is cold and vast; So is nature, or universe to human beings’ eyes, I guess. So being alone is not a comfortable situation.
I don’t have a warm home here, nor can I share God’s love with my neighbours. That doesn’t mean that I am living a miserable life. I simply need to be creative: I prepared a little bottle of Jameson Whiskey, it helped me to get warm quickly after swimming; I had a hot bath also. I called my dearest one telling him that I had been to the sea so he asked whether I had taken a few pictures. I remember once I saw a film about how important that children should hold the faith on the existence of Santa Claus. I agree, because otherwise, oh simply look at me!
… …
It's 5:45 pm now. I just had a nice long walk around Galway and corrected a few grammar mistakes I made in writing the above notes (must be the alcohol!). I walked from up Salthill to River Corrib, crossed Wolfe Tone Bridge, (there is a huge grassland and football pitch), and walked back along the sea. I saw a wonderful sunset on the Atlantic-people at the other side of world must be having a sunrise then. The sun looked so so so big: about 3 times as big as what we see most of the times. It was so beautiful with the pink clouds, the blue sky, and shining ocean. OK, I know the sun looked big and mild because of the characterastics of the air at that moment--the light is scattered. Still I enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Miracles do exist in this world, independent to how you DECIDE to see them. I might even name what motivates my pursuit of knowledge and defines my happiness 'The God'! Then I would be among the most religious humans, in fact, I am actually an ardent priest! Being 'religious' in this way still cannot give me warmth and the feeling of belonging, around most people, can it?
“So, love everybody but trust only the few
as the world you go traveling through---
I have no wife to bother me life,
no love to prove untrue,
The whole day long I love the sun
and paddle my own canon…”
The Wolfe Tones are singing again while I am finishing this little note to myself and whoever will read it in future. I do love everybody so most of the times I am not lonely at all. I know that most people see me as a good person, a really nice or even lovely one, only somewhat crazy. Ha!
No, no, you got me wrong— I don't feel that I am superior, not to any extent. I am mature enough to feel humble but I also know I have to be strong. We are humans, no better or worse, only decisions.
Anno Santo Hotel, Salthill, Galway, Ireland
December 25, 2005
注:
1。聖誕節的當天下海遊泳可能是愛爾蘭當地的有些宗教色彩的習俗。近些年宗教意義淡化了，更象是冬泳愛好者的一個活動。而冬泳愛好者以老年人居多。有為慈善募捐的且有成為主流的趨勢。2003年俺考慮下海，BRP的秘書Joy O‘Hara主動提出她負責宣傳和收錢，俺隻管遊泳就行。她設計了PPT，很有表現力，說中國女士將挑戰Irish Sea， 所籌集善款將捐給某兒童醫院。聖誕節還沒到就有捐款每天進來，有俺認識的也有不認識的，好象很轟動的樣子。係裏的長者也有勸俺慎重從事，說俺是’crazy girl‘！嘿，太晚啦，騎虎難下啦！俺就去了。這裏所記的是05年那次。回來後見Joy 興高采烈地抱著收錢盒子，俺們把錢捐出去時特有成就感！實話說，太冷了，俺再也不多幹了。
2。剛剛過去的這個聖誕節，俺是和朋友們在酒吧過的，聽著當地民歌，狂飲高歌！
3。明年，俺會在南半球的海灘上過一個溫暖的聖誕節。
4。聖誕節對俺之所以如此特別，就是因為到處都關閉，沒處可去，俺隻能自己整點兒瘋狂滴！
或有有緣者讀之。
西行漫記(3): A lonely Christmas
This is the end of 2005; I decided to go away for the Christmas, from School, from Dublin, from people I know. Well, just a decision.
Yes, I do have alternatives: Beatriz invited me to spend Christmas with her and her husband, Gabriel, mostly for religious reason; FB invited me to join his family for Christmas, mostly for business reason; Danny wanted me to go for lunch with her and Patrick, for their memories of Harbin; Liyan asked me to dinner and Poker in her place, mostly for friendship reason. Also, AMG called from London saying that I was in his mind and wished me a happy Christmas.
I am now the only guest in a hotel in Salthill, Galway; even the manager left for a family dinner in his mother’s. From watching TV, I realised that Christmas is basically for warmth and love, both of which must be very essential for humans. That’s why in this world we have, besides business networks, societies, families, and religions, all the means organizing individuals together. It cannot be unconditional love and warmth, I am sure. To be close, people share the same believes or interests: you hand over some freedom in trade of warmth, closeness, and love.
“We are on the one road,
share the one load,
we are on the road to God knows where.
we are on the one road,
it may be the wrong road,
but we are together
now who cares!”
Wolfe Tones is singing, On the one road.
Oh, So great to have an organization of whatsoever a name!
Unfortunately, I have serious difficulties to join the club-I cherish the freedom of exploring and learning. Come on, I am not crazy, just a person who had made a different choice.
I swam in Dublin Bay for Charity on Christmas day 2003, my first Christmas in a Catholic country. This year, I just did it again, 20 minutes ago in the Atlantic at Galway Bay. Now I’m writing this after drinking whiskey while sitting in the hot tub.
This morning during my seaside walk at around 10 o’ clock, I saw only two swimmers, one of which an ardent and pleasant lady. Then very quickly more people gathered at Blackrock diving point (there is a Blackrock in Galway, also a ‘Seapoint’ too!). I quickly ran back to hotel to put my swimming suit on inside. I joined the crowd at Blackrock, the water was a little bit deeper and colder for me, not yet a good swimmer, so I dipped into it 3 times, swam a little each time, without staying long inside. The sea is cold and vast; So is nature, or universe to human beings’ eyes, I guess. So being alone is not a comfortable situation.
I don’t have a warm home here, nor can I share God’s love with my neighbours. That doesn’t mean that I am living a miserable life. I simply need to be creative: I prepared a little bottle of Jameson Whiskey, it helped me to get warm quickly after swimming; I had a hot bath also. I called my dearest one telling him that I had been to the sea so he asked whether I had taken a few pictures. I remember once I saw a film about how important that children should hold the faith on the existence of Santa Claus. I agree, because otherwise, oh simply look at me!
… …
It's 5:45 pm now. I just had a nice long walk around Galway and corrected a few grammar mistakes I made in writing the above notes (must be the alcohol!). I walked from up Salthill to River Corrib, crossed Wolfe Tone Bridge, (there is a huge grassland and football pitch), and walked back along the sea. I saw a wonderful sunset on the Atlantic-people at the other side of world must be having a sunrise then. The sun looked so so so big: about 3 times as big as what we see most of the times. It was so beautiful with the pink clouds, the blue sky, and shining ocean. OK, I know the sun looked big and mild because of the characterastics of the air at that moment--the light is scattered. Still I enjoyed the beautiful scenery. Miracles do exist in this world, independent to how you DECIDE to see them. I might even name what motivates my pursuit of knowledge and defines my happiness 'The God'! Then I would be among the most religious humans, in fact, I am actually an ardent priest! Being 'religious' in this way still cannot give me warmth and the feeling of belonging, around most people, can it?
“So, love everybody but trust only the few
as the world you go traveling through---
I have no wife to bother me life,
no love to prove untrue,
The whole day long I love the sun
and paddle my own canon…”
The Wolfe Tones are singing again while I am finishing this little note to myself and whoever will read it in future. I do love everybody so most of the times I am not lonely at all. I know that most people see me as a good person, a really nice or even lovely one, only somewhat crazy. Ha!
No, no, you got me wrong— I don't feel that I am superior, not to any extent. I am mature enough to feel humble but I also know I have to be strong. We are humans, no better or worse, only decisions.
Anno Santo Hotel, Salthill, Galway, Ireland
December 25, 2005
注:
1。聖誕節的當天下海遊泳可能是愛爾蘭當地的有些宗教色彩的習俗。近些年宗教意義淡化了，更象是冬泳愛好者的一個活動。而冬泳愛好者以老年人居多。有為慈善募捐的且有成為主流的趨勢。2003年俺考慮下海，BRP的秘書Joy O‘Hara主動提出她負責宣傳和收錢，俺隻管遊泳就行。她設計了PPT，很有表現力，說中國女士將挑戰Irish Sea， 所籌集善款將捐給某兒童醫院。聖誕節還沒到就有捐款每天進來，有俺認識的也有不認識的，好象很轟動的樣子。係裏的長者也有勸俺慎重從事，說俺是’crazy girl‘！嘿，太晚啦，騎虎難下啦！俺就去了。這裏所記的是05年那次。回來後見Joy 興高采烈地抱著收錢盒子，俺們把錢捐出去時特有成就感！實話說，太冷了，俺再也不多幹了。
2。剛剛過去的這個聖誕節，俺是和朋友們在酒吧過的，聽著當地民歌，狂飲高歌！
3。明年，俺會在南半球的海灘上過一個溫暖的聖誕節。
4。聖誕節對俺之所以如此特別，就是因為到處都關閉，沒處可去，俺隻能自己整點兒瘋狂滴！
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