College Essay係列（四十五）：2023 達茅成功文書（4）

達茅2023係列文書前三篇鏈接：

College Essay係列（四十四）：2023 達茅成功文書（3）

College Essay係列（四十三）：2023 達茅成功文書（2）

College Essay係列（四十二）：2023 達茅成功文書（1）

 

下麵是第四篇也是最後一篇，《Mushroom in Network》

The first rule of mushroom hunting is that if you are unsure about something, don't eat it. It is better to live another day wondering whether that mushroom is edible than to know immediately that it isn't. The second rule of mushroom hunting, which is much harder to learn, is that everything is connected. Underneath the forest floor, for years, tree roots and their corresponding fungal mycelia have grown, merged, and developed in a vast symbiotic network. Understanding these subterranean connections is vital to a successful hunt, but their significance extends far beyond the confines of the woods. Everything, including myself, is a confluence of connections, overlapping threads. This interconnectedness of life has become the essence of my values in scientific inquiry and social advocacy that form the mycelial fabric of my identity.

A single hyphal strand travels for miles in any direction, interacting, exploring. In the Boston Harbor Islands, my boots fill with seawater as I chisel away at the lichens on the intertidal rock. Their skewed distribution hints at the old refuse of the city nearby dumped into the wat er decades ago. This intersection, between a mushroom hunter and expired public policies, is unique, but the unifying connection is not. We ignore fungi, yet they reflect the state of the natural world.

Fungal mycorrhizae share their nutrients with plant roots. Millions attach to a single tree, providing necessities like nitrogen and phosphorus in exchange for sugar. They are the backbone of the biosphere, yet they occupy the background of our thoughts. At the Massachusetts State House, I stand before an audience of legislators and activists alike. I testify, bringing my experience of the fungal Kingdom, and propose state recognition of these organisms upon which we all depend. Fungi receive consideration and appreciation: a mycorrhizal connection.

Trace backward through this linkage eight years and find an origin: a spore germinates.

"Avi, mira!" I shouted to my grandfather from the needle-laden ground, a beige button protruding from the earth in front of my face.

"El cep," he replied, "Boletus edulis." It is a good find: the transient sum of infinite parts, of cooperation between the surrounding hemlocks and the fungal threads underneath. I am perplexed, bewildered: the most excited I have ever been. He provided a window into the inner workings of the woods; I will never stop looking through.

He continued, branching off on another path. In Catalonia, over centuries of cultural oppression under Spain, mushrooms (bolets), and mushroom hunters (boletaires), have been embedded in Catalan myth, culture, and the fabric of the land. Beyond the control of monarchs or dictators, fungi perfectly parallel a language and tradition forced underground.

Now I stand in Boston common among those who share this ancestry. We wave the Estelada and chant, but thousands of miles away, our brethren are beaten and imprisoned for "sedition." I sit alone in the Farlow Herbarium, a global collection of fungi and lichens. Halfway around the world, the streets remain full of protest. I cannot be there to defend the independence of the Catalan people and nation, but I can push to preserve the mycological aspects of its culture. My work for independence and my advocacy for fungi are fused, dikaryotic, joint in cause: elucidating the unseen, the neglected.

In nature, singularity fades, and the collective emerges in its place. From fungi to people, we all exist within networks: each a convergence of imperceptible relationship.

【凸某評四】

從蘑菇到人類，“we all exist within networks”。

人與蘑菇，這是什麽主題，我見過嗎？沒。這就是我讀完這篇的感受。因為它讓我新奇，所以我對它curious。

開篇一大段，用133 words來講讀者不熟悉的 mushroom的知識。這麽寫的文書，很少有閱讀感覺好的。不考慮我已經知道這篇是達茅成功文書的hindsight，這麽寫文書能成功需要有兩個條件：一是寫的內容要新鮮、有趣，二是讀這篇的人要有時間和心情。做得到第一點，靠你的寫作能力；做到第二點，多少要看你的運氣了。

像這篇這樣的好開篇，我還有別的親身經曆。她是我今年的文書生E。一開始她寫了六篇文書，分別是關於環境、海洋、多元文化、社會活動、社區、藝術的主題。我對她的文書重新做了“編劇”，把海洋、環境和社會活動的故事重編成一個主題故事。那一篇的開篇段，用了E在Caribbean與狼(鯊)共舞(泳)上的真實經曆，與本篇的mushroom hunting異曲同工，其實我覺得mushroom更妙。E今年也收到了達茅錄取。我做過的文書，版權都屬於學生，在他們的大學四年裏，我暫不能拿來分享。

下一個重要概念“we”(人）的引出，這篇故事的設計是值得學習的。“They are the backbone of the biosphere, yet they occupy the background of our thoughts”，這句transition是有技術含量的、意識流寫法。接著Mass State House的，把作者蘑菇興趣連接到其origin即祖父（人）身上。接著，從祖父順滑到Catalan人，接著是兩段、152 words的混合主題，把蘑菇和加泰蘭人兩個看似無關的概念，出其不意地聯係在一起。這，還是意識流。

倒數第二段，讓敘述從Catalan順滑回fungi和Boston，這不僅給主題一個清晰的總結，還給故事的結尾一個呼應篇首的設計。很棒！

最後一段，“each a convergence of imperceptible relationship”是這篇點睛之筆，幹淨、直接。這篇，算是四篇裏寫得最好的一篇。

【凸某總結】

讀完四篇，我的總結如下。

第一，達茅選的文書比哈佛的更真實。這就是我比較哈佛和達茅2023文書的直接感受。其實，哈佛和斯坦福的2023-24裏，我也感覺到真實的人數正在增長、superman的數量可能在減少，隻是這趨勢暫時從海外生源裏還不明顯。

第二，達茅選的文書比哈佛的更好。他們的narrative筆頭都相當熟練，對於figurative語言的把握和意識流式概念轉換，都手到擒來的自然。特別是意識流narrative，是值得中國學生好好學習的。要把文書從你們習慣的說明進化到敘事，意識流是一個最佳的學習途徑。

說到意識流的寫法，不習慣的讀者可能不知道怎麽看。技術層麵上看，它跟普通敘事文的一個重要區別是在段落（主題概念）轉換之間，較少用到關聯詞（虛詞），而是主題概念（實詞）之間的順滑。

如果概念之間的跳躍性不大，普通讀者的感覺就好一些。跳躍過大，又不加關聯詞的，讀者感受就會覺得突兀和混亂，那是強意識流寫法的特點，你可以讀讀James Joyce的《Ulysses》就明白。2018年SAT閱讀第一篇還用過一個小意識流文章，學生們下場後一片的“lmao”。

想學習這個narrative寫作技巧的人，也可以反複研讀Joan Didion的《Slouching Towards Bethlehem》，也可以來找我上文書課。讀到此處的人們，我還有收集十幾年的文書樣本300篇，400多頁的PDF。想要的人，可以QQH我。It's free.

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