夾皮溝底狗呻吟
我思我方在，我在我當錄
戰狼外交別樣紅
於老狗看來，英倫的鬥牛犬邱吉爾也好，北歐小國芬蘭第六任總統曼納海姆也罷，都是帶著花崗岩腦袋去見上帝的曆史反革命。早在世界上第一個社會主義國家呱呱落地的時候，這倆活寶就不約而同地要揮師東進，和俄國的白匪一道將蘇維埃扼殺在搖籃！
可在二戰當中，這倆還不時玩玩惺惺惜惺惺的老反革命忽然發現自己竟一下子分屬到兩個勢不兩立的陣營去了：為了奪回被老毛子強行吞並的大片國土，曼納海姆蹭上了希特勒進攻蘇聯的順風車；而為了幹掉人類公敵希特勒，邱吉爾則不得不放低身段，脫光了衣服之後再和斯大林這位昔日的宿敵上了床。
作為與斯大林同床異夢的代價，對芬宣戰也就成了邱吉爾繞不過的難題。
宣戰之前，兩難的邱吉爾覺得總應該給老曼稍上幾句貼心的私房話。鬥牛犬上來的第一句話就是：出於對我們老毛子這個新盟友的義務，這幾天我們就不得不對芬蘭宣戰了，為此我感到十分的悲切。
在一通我們的事業是正義的，而正義的事業是任何敵人也攻不破的高屋建瓴之後，邱吉爾緊接著便是一陣絲絲入扣的動之以情：對於芬蘭在英倫的眾多朋友來說，最讓我們痛苦難受的莫過就是在戰後看到芬蘭這個可愛的國家將負罪地和戰敗的納粹一道站在戰犯的被告席上。
老邱的言下之意是，兄弟，仗打到現在，毛子在三九年冬季戰爭時從你們家擄走的那些領土也都已經悉數吐出來了。你就不能好歹也配合我一下，把你的那些狼兵往後撤一撤，讓我在斯大林那裏好有個交代？反正出來混早晚也都得還，咱們又何苦把事情鬧得太僵呢？
三兩天後，老曼給老邱送來了一份同樣脈脈含情的回應。除了感謝老邱的先禮後兵的紳士作派之外，老曼不卑不亢地對老邱說：如果芬蘭因為保衛自己的領土完整就得和英國發生衝突，那是勢必就是一件極端可悲的事情。為此，他自己也和老邱一樣，對英國的即將被迫對芬宣戰懷著深深的悲切和無奈。
老曼的意思是，老弟，情俺領了。奈何老哥我也是公務在身，身不由已啊……
之後又過了三兩天，英國如期地對芬正式宣戰。
如此看來，哪怕兩國都快要宣戰了，除了像日你先人這樣滿滿故國特色的正能量之外，這戰狼外交也還是可以有另外一種玩法的……
值得順便一提的是，英國對芬宣戰後的三兩年裏，唯一的敵對行為似乎隻是她曾經派過幾架飛機飛到芬蘭的港口，找個沒人的水域象征性地扔下幾枚威力無比的水幕炸彈，之後便沒命一般地急匆匆打道回府了。
西元二〇二一年四月初稿於英倫九歲齋
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附錄：邱吉爾與曼納海姆之間電文往來
【邱吉爾致曼納海姆】http://heninen.net/sopimus/kirjecm_e.htm
I am deeply grieved at what I see coming, namely, that we shall be forced in a few days, out of loyalty to our ally Russia, to declare war upon Finland. If we do this, we shall make war also as opportunity serves. Surely your troops have advanced far enough for security during the war and could now halt and give leave. It is not necessary to make any public declaration, but simply leave off fighting and cease military operations, for which the severe winter affords every reason, and make a de facto exit from the war.
I wish I could convince Your Excellency that we are going to beat the Nazis. I feel far more confident than in 1917 or 1918. It would be most painful to the many friends of your country in England if Finland found herself in the dock with the guilty and defeated Nazis. My recollections of our pleasant talks and correspondence about the last war lead me to send this purely personal and private message for your consideration before it is too late.
November 29th, 1941
【曼納海姆複邱吉爾】http://heninen.net/sopimus/kirjemc_e.htm
Yesterday I had the honour to receive through the American Ambassador in Helsinki your letter of November 29th, 1941, and I thank you for your kindness in sending me this private message. I am sure you will realize that it is impossible for me to halt the military operations at present being carried out before the troops have reached the positions which in my opinion will provide us with the necessary security. It would be deplorable if these operations undertaken to safeguard Finland should bring my country into conflict with England, and I would be deeply grieved if England felt herself forced to declare war on Finland. It was very good of you to send me a personal message in these critical days, and I appreciate it fully.
December 2nd, 1941
哈哈，老兄這句話寫的很不錯，也似乎反映了英美傳統。即使打仗，也知道大家還是人。不是完全的意思形態、機器人一樣的思維方式。
太低級的文化裏，人們一旦有點衝突，好像對方就不是人了。憤青就類似小孩在電影院看電影，問領導（問爸爸媽媽）這個是不是壞人。然後壞人就完全是不通人性、不能溝通的物種了。