隨筆
隨筆，聊天
SOME REASONS IT'S GREAT TO BE A GUY
1) Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2) Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3) A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
4) Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
5) Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
6) Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
7) Your butt is never a factor in a job interview.
8) A beer gut doesn't make you invisible to the opposite sex.
9) Your last name stays put.
10) You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
11) Your underwear is $10 for three packs.
12) You don't have to shave below your neck.
13) If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
14) You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
15) You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
16) Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
17) Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
18) You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
19) Car mechanics tell you the truth.
20) Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
21) Same work, more pay.
22) Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
23) You don't mooch off others' desserts.
24) People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
25) You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imaging you naked.
26) Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
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My notes:
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15) Water park -- One of those places you go to play that has water slides,
wave machines, etc. In USA, wet t-shirt contests used to be quite popular.
You put a bunch of women in white t-shirts, pour water on them, and the
best looking t-shirt wins (it really is the best looking breasts).
20) Women apply hot wax to hairy parts of their bodies and cover it with
fine mesh cloth. When the wax is set, they pull the cloth and wax off, and
it removes all hair in the area. It hurts most at the "bikini line" around
the bottom edge of a bathing suit and inside of the upper thigh, which is
the pubic area.
23) Women usually don't order a dessert at a dinner in order to remain slim,
or at least give the impression that they are weight conscious if nothing
else. Instead, they'll use their fork and steal a taste from someone else's
dessert. "Mooch" means to beg or ask for something that's not yours.
