約翰·洛克的教育思想(中英對照)-15: 啼哭

CRYING | Crying is a fault that should not be tolerated in children; not only for the unpleasant and unbecoming noise it fills the house with, but for more considerable reasons, in reference to the children themselves: which is to be our aim in education.

哭泣 | 哭泣是小孩的一種不可容忍的缺點；不僅是因為滿屋的不愉快和不稱心的噪音，而且是為了與小孩自己相關的更值得考慮的緣故：也就是我們教育的目的。

Their crying is of two sorts; either stubborn and domineering, or querulous and whining.

哭泣有兩種：一種是固執又專橫，另一種是嘮叨又愛抱怨。

1. Their crying is very often a striving for mastery, and an open declaration of their insolence or obstinacy; when they have not the power to obtain their desire, they will, by their clamour and sobbing, maintain their title and right to it. This is an avowed continuing of their claim, and a sort of remonstrance against the oppression and injustice of those who deny them what they have a mind to.

1. 他們哭泣常常是爭作主宰，是公開宣布他們的蠻橫或固執己見；當他們還沒有力量去達成他們的欲望，他們會通過喧鬧和哭泣來維持他們的權力。這是他們要求的公然繼續，是對別人拒絕他們一心想要的東西，讓他們感到受到壓迫、受到不公待遇的一種抗議。

2. Sometimes their crying is the effect of pain or true sorrow, and a bemoaning themselves under it.

2. 有時他們的哭泣是由痛苦或真正的悲傷引起的，也是他們自哀自怨。

These two, if carefully observed, may, by the mien, look, and actions, and particularly by the tone of their crying, be easily distinguished; but neither of them must be suffered, much less encouraged.

如果仔細觀察，這兩種哭泣是很容易從神態、眼神與動作，特別是從他們哭泣的聲調上區分開來；但是這兩者都不容忍，更不能鼓勵。

1. The obstinate or stomachful crying should by no means be permitted, because it is but another way of flattering their desires, and encouraging those passions, which it is our main business to subdue: and if it be, as often it is, upon the receiving any correction, it quite defeats all the good effects of it; for any chastisement, which leaves them in this declared opposition, only serves to make them worse. The restraints and punishments laid on children are all misapplied and lost, as far as they do not prevail over their wills, teach them to submit their passions, and make their minds supple and pliant to what their parents reason advises them now, and so prepare them to obey what their own reason should advise hereafter. But if in any thing wherein they are crossed, they may be suffered to go away crying, they confirm themselves in their desires, and cherish the ill humour, with a declaration of their right, and a resolution to satisfy their inclinations the first opportunity. This therefore is another argument against the frequent use of blows: for, whenever you come to that extremity, it is not enough to whip or beat them, you must do it till you find you have subdued their minds, till with submission and patience they yield to the correction; which you shall best discover by their crying, and their ceasing from it upon your bidding. Without this, the beating of children is but a passionate tyranny over them; and it is mere cruelty, and not correction, to put their bodies in pain, without doing their minds any good. As this gives us a reason why children should seldom be corrected, so it also prevents their being so. For if, whenever they are chastised, it were done thus without passion, soberly and yet effectually too, laying on the blows and smart, not furiously and all at once, but slowly, with reasoning between, and with observation how it wrought, stopping when it had made them pliant, penitent, and yielding; they would seldom need the like punishment again, being made careful to avoid the fault that deserved it. Besides, by this means, as the punishment would not be lost, for being too little, and not effectual, so it would be kept from being too much, if we gave off as soon as we perceived that it reached the mind, and that was bettered. For, since the chiding or beating of children should be always the least that possibly may be, that which is laid on in the heat of anger, seldom observes that measure; but is commonly more than it should be, though it prove less than enough.

1. 固執或怨恨的哭泣是決不允許的，因為那隻是另一種方式來逢迎他們的欲望、鼓勵他們的情緒，而我們的主要任務正是要對其加以壓製：假如哭泣發生在小孩正在接受懲罰糾正時，就如經常發生的那樣，哭泣會很大程度抵消懲罰的好處；因為責罵導致小孩哭鬧這種公然的反抗，隻會讓小孩變得更壞。就小孩所受的懲罰限製而言，如果它們不能勝過他們的意誌，不能教導他們控製他們的情緒，不能使他們的心理現在順從父母理智的建議，也就不能預備他們今後服從自己的理智，那麽懲罰限製就是應用不當和浪費了。如果小孩在任何事上受到拒絕，卻被容許走開去哭泣，他們就會堅持自己的欲望，維持壞脾氣，宣示自己的權力，而且決心一有機會就去滿足自己的偏好。所以這是反對經常使用鞭打的又一個理由：因為一旦到了鞭笞這一極端的時候，鞭抽棍打一下是不夠的，你必須打到你已經征服他們的意誌，直到他們耐心順服地屈從於懲罰糾正為止；這你可以從他們的哭泣，從他們聽到你的命令就停止哭泣上看得最清楚。否則，鞭打小孩隻是對他們的激憤的專橫，是純粹的殘忍，不是懲罰糾正，隻是讓他們的身體受痛苦，對他們的心理沒有好處。這給了我們一個理由很少去責罰小孩，同時也防止他們常常犯事受罰。因為每當我們責罰他們時，不是出於激怒，而是冷靜又有效地施行，責打也不是一陣狂打，而是慢慢地、夾雜著說理地進行，並且觀察它怎樣起作用，當他們順從、悔悟與屈服就停止鞭打他們；那麽他們就會小心避免犯錯挨打，就不再需要類似的懲罰了。另外用這樣的方法，懲罰不會因為用得太少而浪費失效，而我們一看到責罰已經更好地觸及心靈就停下，懲罰也就不會用得過多。因為責罵或鞭打小孩總是愈少愈好，而盛怒之中的責打很少遵循這個尺度，雖是常常打得過多，卻被證明不夠有效。

2. Many children are apt to cry, upon any little pain they suffer; and the least harm that befals them, puts them into complaints and bawling. This few children avoid: for it being the first and natural way to declare their sufferings or wants, before they can speak, the compassion that is thought due to that tender age foolishly encourages, and continues it in them long after they can speak. It is the duty, I confess, of those about children, to compassionate them, whenever they suffer any hurt; but not to show it in pitying them. Help and ease them the best you can, but by no means bemoan them. This softens their minds, and makes them yield to the little harms that happen to them; whereby they sink deeper into that part which alone feels, and make larger wounds there, than otherwise they would. They should be hardened against all sufferings, especially of the body, and have no tenderness but what rises from an ingenuous shame and a quick sense of reputation. The many inconveniences this life is exposed to, require we should not be too sensible of every little hurt. What our minds yield not to, makes but a slight impression, and does us but very little harm; it is the suffering of our spirits that gives and continues the pain. This brawniness and insensibility of mind, is the best armour we can have against the common evils and accidents of life; and being a temper that is to be got by exercise and custom, more than any other way, the practice of it should be begun betimes, and happy is he that is taught it early. That effeminacy of spirit, which is to be prevented or cured, and which nothing, that I know, so much increases in children as crying; so nothing, on the other side, so much checks and restrains, as their being hindered from that sort of complaining. In the little harms they suffer, from knocks and falls, they should not be pitied for falling, but bid do so again; which, besides that it stops their crying, is a better way to cure their heedlessness, and prevent their tumbling another time, than either childing or bemoaning them. But, let the hurts they receive be what they will, stop their crying, and that will give them more quiet and ease at present, and harden them for the future.

許多小孩受一點苦就愛哭啼；一點小小的傷害降臨他們頭上，他們就要抱怨和號哭。很少有小孩不這樣的：因為在他們會說話之前，啼哭是表示他們的痛苦或需要的最初和自然的方式，因為他們弱小的年齡而同情他們的啼哭，愚蠢地鼓勵他們的哭泣，使其繼續到他們能說話之後很久。我承認，當小孩受傷害，他們周圍的人有責任同情他們，但是不該可憐他們。盡你所能幫助與安慰他們，但絕不要為他們哀歎。這會使他們心理軟弱，讓他們屈服於他們遭遇到的一點點傷害；由此他們更深地沉溺於感到受傷的地方，造成不該有的更大傷害。應該讓他們能夠承受所有的痛苦，特別是身體上的痛苦，讓他們不再軟弱，隻除了由真正的慚愧與對榮譽的敏感所生的柔和。人生有很多磨難，要求我們對每一個小小的傷害不要過於敏感。我們心理上不屈服的事情，隻會留下輕微的印象，對我們並沒有多大傷害；是我們精神上的受苦造成和延續了痛苦。精神上的頑強與不敏感，是我們抵禦一般邪惡與人生意外的最好保護；這種脾性更多的是通過鍛練與習慣取得的，所以要及早開始練習，那從小就得到這種教導的人就是幸福的人。精神脆弱是應該防止或糾正的，據我所知，沒有任何事情比小孩哭啼更能使他們精神脆弱；因此另一方麵，沒有任何事情比製止小孩哭泣抱怨更能防止他們精神脆弱。當他們碰撞、摔倒受小傷時，不要可憐他們的摔倒，隻是不要他們再摔倒；這樣除了讓他們停止哭泣，比責罵或哀歎更能糾正他們的疏忽大意，防止他們再次摔倒。但是不管他們受到什麽傷害，總要他們停止哭泣，這不僅讓他們現在更安靜、更少痛苦，而且為將來讓他們更堅強。

The former sort of crying requires severity to silence it; and where a look, or a positive command, will not do it, blows must: for it proceeding from pride, obstinacy, and stomach, the will, where the fault lies, must be bent, and made to comply, by a rigour sufficient to master it. But this latter, being ordinarily from softness of mind, a quite contrary cause, ought to be treated with a gentler hand. Persuasion, or diverting the thoughts another way, or laughing at their whining, may perhaps be at first the proper method: but for this, the circumstances of the thing, and the particular temper of the child, must be considered. No certain invariable rules can be given about it; but it must be left to the prudence of the parents or tutor. But this, I think, I may say in general, that there should be a constant discountenancing of this sort of crying also; and that the father, by his authority, should always stop it, mixing a greater degree of roughness in his looks or words, proportionably as the child is of a greater age, or a sturdier temper; but always, let it be enough to silence their whimpering, and put an end to the disorder.

前一種啼哭要嚴厲地加以製止；如果眼色或正麵命令不能奏效，那就必須用鞭打：因為那是出於驕傲、頑固和欲望，一定要讓這種產生缺陷的意誌屈服，用一種足以控製它的嚴格方法使它順從。但是這後一種啼哭，通常是出於心理軟弱，一種完全相反的導因，應該用更溫和的手法處理。勸解他們，或轉移他們的注意力，或笑話他們的哀怨，也許是最初合適的方法：但是這必須考慮事情發生的客觀條件與小孩的特殊性格。這沒有什麽一定之規，必須由父母或導師酌情決定。但是我認為總的來說，是要始終反對這種啼哭；父親應該憑藉他的權威去製止這種啼哭，而且隨著小孩的年紀更大或性格更堅強，相應他的臉色或言辭更粗重；但是總是以能製止他們的啜泣嗚咽、停止他們的毛病為足夠的。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)