約翰·洛克的教育思想(中英對照)-6: 禮貌

MANNERS | Manners, as they call it, about which children are so often perplexed, and have so many goodly exhortations made them by their wise maids and governesses, I think, are rather to be learnt by example than rules; and then children, if kept out of ill company, will take a pride to behave themselves prettily, after the fashion of others, perceiving themselves esteemed and commended for it. But if by a little negligence in this part, the boy should not pull off his hat, nor make legs very gracefully, a dancing-master will cure that defect, and wipe off all that plainness of nature, which the a-la-mode people call clownishness. And since nothing appears to me to give children so much becoming confidence and behaviour, and so to raise them to the conversation of those above their age, as dancing, I think they should be taught to dance as soon as they are capable of learning it. For though this consist only in outward gracefulness of motion, yet, I know not how, it gives children manly thoughts and carriage, more than any thing. But otherwise, I would not have little children much tormented about punctilio's or niceties of breeding.

禮貌 |  所謂禮貌，孩子們往往弄不清楚，聰明的女仆和女教師又常常給他們許多的好意勸告，我覺得禮貌應該通過榜樣而不是規矩來學習的；孩子若是不與壞夥伴為伍，以自己行為優美為驕傲，就會跟隨別人的榜樣，好讓他們自己得到別人的尊敬與讚揚。假若稍微沒有留心，孩子沒有脫帽、或腿擺得不夠優雅，跳舞的教師可以改正這缺陷，他可以除去天性中的俗氣，也就是時髦人士所稱的滑稽小醜相。我覺得跳舞最能使小孩具有適當的自信心與舉止，使他們能和年長的人交際，所以我主張他們到了能學跳舞的年齡，就應當盡快教他們學習跳舞。因為跳舞雖然隻是一種外在動作的優美，但不知道為什麽，它給予孩子的男子漢思想與舉止，卻比任何東西都強。除此以外，我不主張讓幼小的孩子因為教養上的細節與精確多吃苦頭。

Never trouble your self about those faults in them, which you know age will cure: and therefore want of well-fashioned civility in the carriage, whilst civility is not wanting in the mind, (for there you must take care to plant it early) should be the parents' least care, whilst they are young. If his tender mind be filled with a veneration for his parents and teachers, which consists of love and esteem, and a fear to offend them: and with respect and good will to all people; that respect will of itself teach those ways of expressing it, which he observes most acceptable. Be sure to keep up in him the principles of good nature and kindness; make them as habitual as you can, by credit and commendation, and the good things accompanying that state: and when they have taken root in his mind, and are settled there by a continued practice, fear not, the ornaments of conversation, and the outside of fashionable manners, will come in their due time: if when they are removed out of their maid's care, they are put into the hands of a well-bred man to be their governor.

不必擔憂小孩身上能被年歲改正的缺點：因此，當小孩年幼的時候，隻要小孩心中有禮貌 (那是你應該及早培植的)，舉止上欠缺合乎風尚的禮儀的地方，父母可以少操心。假如他幼稚的心裏飽含對父母師長的敬愛，對他們又愛又敬重，害怕冒犯他們；同時也尊重其他所有的人，對他們懷抱善意；那尊敬的心思本身可以教他用他觀察到最適宜的方式來表達。你要注意讓他保持善良溫和的原則；你要竭力利用名譽、讚揚、以及隨其而來的美好事物，使他們把那原則養成習慣；一旦這種原則在他的心中生根，又經過不斷的練習在他的心中確立起來，你就不用怕，交談中的修飾與外在的時髦禮儀，到時候自然就會了；隻要小孩脫離女仆的照看，得到具有良好教養的男子來做他們的導師。

Whilst they are very young, any carelessness is to be borne with in children, that carries not with it the marks of pride or ill nature; but those, whenever they appear in any action, are to be corrected immediately by the ways above-mentioned. What I have said concerning manners, I would not have so understood, as if I meant that those who have the judgment to do it, should not gently fashion the motions and carriage of children, when they are very young. It would be of great advantage, if they had people about them from their being first able to go, that had the skill, and would take the right way to do it. That which I complain of, is the wrong course that is usually taken in this matter. Children, who were never taught any such thing as behaviour, are often (especially when strangers are present) chid for having some way or other failed in good manners, and have thereupon reproofs and precepts heaped upon them, concerning putting off their hats, or making of legs, etc. Though in this, those concerned pretend to correct the child, yet in truth, for the most part, it is but to cover their own shame; and they lay the blame on the poor little ones, sometimes passionately enough, to divert it from themselves, for fear the by-standers should impute to their want of care and skill the child's ill behaviour.

當孩子很小的時候，他們任何無心的過失都是可以寬容的，隻要它不帶有驕傲或不良天性的痕跡；但是任何時候他們的行為表現出這樣的痕跡，就要立刻用以上所說的方法糾正。我講到禮儀，意思並不是說，那些明白怎樣做的人，也不應在小孩年幼的時候去逐漸陶冶他們的動作和舉止。如果從小孩會走路時就有有技巧的人用正確的方法去陶冶他們，那是一件很好的事。我所不滿意的是在這件事情通常所用的錯誤方法。孩子的行為從來沒有人教過，可是一有什麽禮儀不周的時候， (尤其是有陌生人在場的時候)他們就常常被訓斥，而且關於脫帽或擺腿的責備與教訓也就堆了上來。雖然那些人假裝是糾正小孩，事實上多數隻是遮掩他們本身的恥辱；他們為了自己不受責備，有時激動地怪罪可憐的小孩，因為他們害怕旁觀者會將其歸咎於他們對小孩缺乏照顧以及沒有技巧糾正小孩的不良行為。

For, as for the children themselves, they are never one jot bettered by such occasional lectures. They at other times should be shewn what to do, and by reiterated actions be fashioned beforehand into the practice of what is fit and becoming, and not told and talked to do upon the spot, of what they have never been accustomed nor know how to do as they should. To hare and rate them thus at every turn, is not to teach them, but to vex and torment them to no purpose. They should be let alone, rather than chid for a fault which is none of theirs, nor is in their power to mend for speaking to. And it were much better their natural childish negligence or plainness should be left to the care of riper years, than that they should frequently have rebukes misplaced upon them, which neither do nor can give them graceful motions. If their minds are well-disposed, and principled with inward civility, a great part of the roughness which sticks to the outside for want of better teaching, time and observation will rub off, as they grow up, if they are bred in good company; but if in ill, all the rules in the world, all the correction imaginable, will not be able to polish them. For you must take this for a certain truth, that let them have what instructions you will, and ever so learned lectures of breeding daily inculcated into them, that which will most influence their carriage will be the company they converse with, and the fashion of those about them. Children (nay, and men too) do most by example. We are all a sort of camelions, that still take a tincture from things near us; nor is it to be wondered at in children, who better understand what they see than what they hear.

因為對於小孩本身來說，這種偶爾的說教從來是沒有一點好處的。應當演示給他們做什麽，而且還要事先反複練習使他們能夠實踐合適的方法，不能夠從不習慣，也不知道他們應當怎樣做，卻臨時告訴他們去做。這種動輒就測試與評判他們的做法，不是教育他們，而是無端使他們受煩擾與折磨。不要因為一個不是他們本身的、也不是他們能力可改變的過錯去嗬斥他們，他們應該不受打擾。他們天性中幼稚的疏忽大意或者淺薄應該留給年歲的成熟來關照，不必時時無故加以嗬責，因為嗬責不會也不能使他們養成優雅的動作。如果他們的心靈是和善的，有著內在的禮貌原則，雖然因缺乏良好的教育而導致他們外在的粗魯，隻要他們是在良好的夥伴中教養成長的，很大一部分的粗魯，當他們長大，會隨時間與觀察而擦抹掉的；但是如果是與壞夥伴在一起，那麽你就是用盡世上一切的規矩，使盡一切想象得到的糾正方法，還是不能改善他們的。因為你應該知道這個真理：盡管你給予孩子各種教導，也天天告訴他們與教養相關的教訓，最影響他們舉止的是，他們交往的夥伴和他們周圍的人的時尚。小孩 (不,成人也是一樣)的舉止大都是模仿來的。我們都象是一種變色龍，受周圍東西的浸染；所以怪不得小孩會更明白他們看見的，而不是他們被教導的。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)