約翰·洛克的教育思想(中英對照)-3: 心智教育

MIND | Due care being had to keep the body in strength and vigour, so that it may be able to obey and execute the orders of the mind; the next and principal business is, to set the mind right, that on all occasions it may be disposed to consent to nothing but what may be suitable to the dignity and excellency of a rational creature.

心智 | 恰當的照顧使身體強壯和有活力，所以它能遵從和執行心智的命令；下一個而且主要的問題是使心智保持正常，在一切情形下都能舉止合乎一個理性動物的尊嚴和高貴的身分。

If what I have said in the beginning of this discourse be true, as I do not doubt but it is, viz. That the difference to be found in the manners and abilities of men is owing more to their education than to any thing else, we have reason to conclude, that great care is to be had of the forming children's minds, and giving them that seasoning early, which shall influence their lives always after: For when they do well or ill, the praise and blame will be laid there; and when any thing is done awkwardly, the common saying will pass upon them, that it's suitable to their breeding.

如果我在這篇論述開始所說的，就如我所信是真的，即人的行為和能力的差別受教育的影響比別的任何事情都大，那麽我們有理由論斷，要重視塑造小孩的心智，並且要及早塑造，這對他們以後一生都一直有影響：因為當他們幹好或幹壞，讚揚與責備都會歸結到他們所受的教育；如果有什麽事情作得很笨拙，大家便要批評他們，說那是符合他們所受的教養。

As the strength of the body lies chiefly in being able to endure hardships, so also does that of the mind. And the great principle and foundation of all virtue and worth is placed in this: that a man is able to deny himself his own desires, cross his own inclinations, and purely follow what reason directs as best, though the appetite lean the other way.

就像身體的強健主要在於能忍受困苦，心智堅強也是如此。一切美德與價值的重要原則及基礎在於：一個人能夠壓製自己的欲望，克服自身的傾向，而完全順服理性所作的最好指引，雖然欲望傾向於另外的方向。

EARLY | The great mistake I have observed in people's breeding their children, has been, that this has not been taken care enough of in its due season: that the mind has not been made obedient to discipline, and pliant to reason, when at first it was most tender, most easy to be bowed. Parents being wisely ordained by nature to love their children, are very apt, if reason watch not that natural affection very warily, are apt, I say, to let it run into fondness. They love their little ones and it is their duty; but they often, with them, cherish their faults too. They must not be crossed, forsooth; they must be permitted to have their wills in all things; and they being in their infancies not capable of great vices, their parents think they may safe enough indulge their irregularities, and make themselves sport with that pretty perverseness which they think well enough becomes that innocent age. But to a fond parent, that would not have his child corrected for a perverse trick, but excused it, saying it was a small matter, Solon very well replied, aye, but custom is a great one.

趁早 |  我所觀察到人們在教養子女時犯的重大錯誤，是沒有在恰當的時刻對這一點給予足夠關注：當心智最柔弱、最易塑造的時候，沒有讓它遵守約束、服從理智。父母由"自然"合理的設定，去愛護自己的子女，但是那種自然的愛一旦離開了理智的嚴密看管，就很容易流於溺愛。他們愛護自己的子女，這個原是他們的責任；但是他們常常也愛惜子女的過失。當真，子女是一定不受幹涉的；在一切事情，他們都一定被允許照他們的意願去做；他們在嬰孩時不可能幹什麽大的壞事，他們的父母因此覺得可以安全地放縱子女的過犯，而且父母自己還逗弄子女的執拗，以為那合乎孩子的天真年歲。但是對於一個溺愛子女、不改正而原諒子女的乖僻行為、認為那是一件小事的父母，棱倫 (Solon 棱倫 (公元前638年－公元前558年)，古代雅典的政治家，立法者，詩人；古希臘最傑出的政治家之一)給出了很好的答複："不錯，但是習慣卻是一件的大事啊''。

The fondling must be taught to strike and call names, must have what he cries for, and do what he pleases. Thus parents, by humouring and cockering them when little, corrupt the principles of nature in their children, and wonder afterwards to taste the bitter waters, when they themselves have poisoned the fountain. For when their children are grown up, and these ill habits with them; when they are now too big to be dandled, and their parents can no longer make use of them as play-things, then they complain that the brats are untoward and perverse; then they are offended to see them wilful, and are troubled with those ill humours which they themselves infused and fomented in them; and then, perhaps too late, would be glad to get out those weeds which their own hands have planted, and which now have taken too deep root to be easily extirpated. For he that hath been used to have his will in every thing, as long as he was in coats, why should we think it strange, that he should desire it, and contend for it still, when he is in breeches? Indeed, as he grows more towards a man, age shews his faults the more; so that there be few parents then so blind as not to see them, few so insensible as not to feel the ill effects of their own indulgence. He had the will of his maid before he could speak or go; he had the mastery of his parents ever since he could prattle; and why, now he is grown up, is stronger and wiser than he was then, why now of a sudden must he be restrained and curbed? Why must he at seven, fourteen, or twenty years old, lose the privilege, which the parents' indulgence untill then so largely allowed him? Try it in a dog or an horse or any other creature, and see whether the ill and resty tricks they have learned when young, are easily to be mended when they are knit; and yet none of those creatures are half so wilful and proud, or half so desirous to be masters of themselves and others, as man.

被溺愛的孩子必定學會打人、罵人，他一定要得到他所哭求的，他也一定要做他喜歡做的任何事情。這樣，父母在孩子小的時候，逗弄和嬌寵他們，敗壞他們的本性，他們自己毒害了泉源，日後喝到苦水卻又感到奇怪。因為當他們的小孩長大以後，這些惡習也跟隨著小孩；那時孩子太大不能逗著玩了，他們的父母不能再把他們當作玩物了，於是父母就埋怨說，臭小子們太忤逆、太乖僻；那時父母才覺得被小孩的執拗所冒犯，才知道他們親手養成的那些惡習是很令人憂慮的；然後，他們才願意拔除自己親手種植的雜草，也許太晚了，雜草的根紮得太深而不易清除。因為當他還穿童裝的時候，就慣於支配一切事情，現在大了穿短褲，他仍然希望和爭取運用自己的意誌去支配一切，我們為什麽感到奇怪呢？事實上，當他長得越接近於成人，他的年歲越能顯現他的毛病；因此很少父母仍很盲目而不能看見端倪，很少父母會麻木不仁而不能感覺自己縱容引起的惡劣影響。他在不會說話、不會行走之前，就已有支配女仆的意誌了；他還在咿呀學語時，就已控製他的父母了；現在他已長大成人，比以前更強壯、更聰明了，為什麽現在突然要受限製和拘束呢？為什麽他在七歲、十四歲，或是二十歲的時候要失去以前父母嬌慣所給予的特權呢？你可以在一隻狗、一匹馬、或是隨便一隻什麽動物身上試試，看它們小時候養成的桀驁不馴的脾氣，在長大羈勒以後是不是容易改變；然而這些動物，其倔強、驕傲、及希望成為自己與別人的主宰的心思，還不及人類的一半呢。

We are generally wise enough to begin with them when they are very young, and discipline betimes those other creatures we would make useful and good for somewhat. They are only our own offspring, that we neglect in this point; and having made them ill children, we foolishly expect they should be good men. For if the child must have grapes or sugar-plums when he has a mind to them, rather than make the poor baby cry or be out of humour; why, when, he is grown up, must he not be satisfied too, if his desires carry him to wine or women? They are objects as suitable to the longing of one of more years, as what he cried for, when little, was to the inclinations of a child. The having desires accommodated to the apprehensions and relish of those several ages, is not the fault; but the not having them subject to the rules and restraints of reason: the difference lies not in having or not having appetites, but in the power to govern, and deny ourselves in them. He that is not used to submit his will to the reason of others when he is young, will scarce hearken to submit to his own reason when he is of an age to make use of it. And what kind of a man such an one is like to prove, is easy to foresee.

對於別的動物，我們通常明智地從它們很小時候著手，及早調教它們使其有些用處和益處。隻是對於我們自己的後代，我們卻忽視這一點；我們把他們培養成壞孩子，我們卻愚蠢地期望他們長大成為好人。如果小孩想要葡萄或糖球，那一定讓他得到，而不是讓這可憐的孩子哭泣或不高興；那當他長大了，他的欲望把他帶到醇酒或女人跟前，為什麽不讓他得到滿足呢？長大時想要的［醇酒或女人］，和小時候哭求的［葡萄或糖球］，都是一個孩子的傾向欲求。有欲望要滿足這些不同年齡的期望和享受，這不是什麽錯；錯在沒有讓欲望接受理智的規範與約束：這差別不在於有沒有欲望，而在於有能力約束欲求，並且克製我們自己。那小時候不習慣將自己的意誌服從於他人理智的人，當他長大能夠運用理智的時候，他也很少會去服從自己的理智的。這種人長大後會成哪種人，是容易預料的。

SPOILING | These are oversights usually committed by those who seem to take the greatest care of their children's education. But if we look into the common management of children, we shall have reason to wonder, in the great dissoluteness of manners which the world complains of, that there are any footsteps at all left of virtue. I desire to know what vice can be named, which parents, and those about children, do not season them with, and drop into them the seeds of, as soon as they are capable to receive them? I do not mean by the examples they give, and the patterns they set before them, which is encouragement enough; but that which I would take notice of here is, the downright teaching them vice, and actual putting them out of the way of virtue. Before they can go, they principle them with violence, revenge, and cruelty. Give me a blow, that I may beat him, is a lesson which most children every day hear; and it is thought nothing, because their hands have not strength to do any mischief. But I ask, does not this corrupt their mind? Is not this the way of force and violence, that they are set in? And if they have been taught when little, to strike and hurt others by proxy, and encouraged to rejoice in the harm they have brought upon them, and see them suffer, are they not prepared to do it when they are strong enough to be felt themselves, and can strike to some purpose?

慣壞 |  這些疏忽過錯，都是那些表麵上最用心教育子女的父母常犯的。但是假如我們看看對小孩的通常管教，我應有理由懷疑，在這為世人所指摘的放蕩不羈行為中, 還有沒有一點美德的印跡。我想要知道小孩會有什麽惡行，倘若父母以及其他接近小孩的人，在小孩能接受邪惡的時候，不灌輸邪惡給小孩，不播下邪惡的種子給小孩？我的意思不是指他們給小孩的榜樣，和他們在小孩麵前設的範例，那已是足夠慫恿的；我所注意的是，他們明白地把惡行傳授給小孩，真正地使他們離開美德的道路。在小孩還不會走路，就教他們暴力、報複、和殘酷。"給我一根棍子，我好去打他"，是多數小孩每天聽到的教訓；這被認為沒有什麽，因為小孩的手不夠有勁，不會惹出事來的。但是我要問，難道這不會敗壞他們的心智嗎？難道這不就是使他們開始施用武力與暴力嗎？假如他們從小就借別人的手去打人傷人，而且被慫恿以被打者的受傷受苦為樂，難道到了他們強壯有力、能夠自己感受，能故意去打人的時候，他們就不準備打入了嗎？

The coverings of our bodies which are for modesty, warmth and defence, are by the folly or vice of parents recommended to their children for other uses. They are made matters of vanity and emulation. A child is set a longing after a new suit, for the finery of it; and when the little girl is tricked up in her new gown and commode, how can her mother do less than teach her to admire herself, by calling her, her little queen and her princess? Thus the little ones are taught to be proud of their clothes before they can put them on. And why should they not continue to value themselves for their outside fashionableness of the taylor or tirewoman's making, when their parents have so early instructed them to do so?

遮蓋我們的身體是為了遮羞、取暖與得到保護，可是由於父母的愚蠢或壞心眼，卻把衣服穿在孩子身上當作別的用途。穿著被他們看成了虛榮與競爭的工具。教小孩盼望一套新衣服，為的是貪圖它的漂亮美麗；小女孩穿了新衣和戴新頭飾，當母親的怎能不叫她"小王後"和"小公主"，來教她欣賞自己？這樣，小家夥還不會穿衣，卻已學會誇耀她們的衣服了。當父母從小就教他們這樣去做，他們長大了那能不繼續以服裝的外表時髦來評價自己呢?

Lying and equivocations, and excuses little different from lying, are put into the mouths of young people, and commended in apprentices and children, whilst they are for their master's or parents' advantage. And can it be thought, that he that finds the straining of truth dispensed with, and encouraged, whilst it is for his godly master's turn, will not make use of that privilege for himself, when it may be for his own profit?

師傅或父母為自身的利益，常常鼓勵學徒和子女去說謊、含糊其辭、及說與謊言差不多的遁詞。因此可以想見，他發現為了他尊敬的師傅的緣故，扭曲真相可以得到原諒和鼓勵，那麽為他自己和他自身利益，他為什麽不可以說謊呢？

Those of the meaner sort are hindered, by the straitness of their fortunes, from encouraging intemperance in their children by the temptation of their diet, or invitations to eat or drink more than enough; but their own ill examples, whenever plenty comes in their way, shew, that it is not the dislike of drunkenness or gluttony, that keeps them from excess, but want of materials. But if we look into the houses of those who are a little warmer in their fortunes, their eating and drinking are made so much the great business and happiness of life, that children are thought neglected, if they have not their share of it. Sauces and ragoos, and food disguised by all the arts of cookery, must tempt their palates, when their bellies are full; and then, for fear the stomach should be overcharged, a pretence is found for the other glass of wine to help digestion, though it only serves to increase the surfeit.

那些下層人，因為財力所限，不能以飲食的誘惑或酒食的飽餐，來鼓勵他們小孩的放縱；不過他們一旦有了足夠的財富，他們自己便會給小孩樹立壞榜樣，他們並不是不喜歡豪飲或暴食，隻是因為物資不足才不過分飲食。但是假如我們觀察家境好一點的家庭，他們把飲食看作人生的大事和幸福，如果小孩沒有得到應有的份額，他們就覺得小孩受忽視了。當小孩的肚腹已滿，還要把湯汁、魚肉、以及各種方法烹調的食物放到他們的盤中；然後，因為害怕腸胃過飽，借機又喝一杯酒以助消化，雖然那隻是增加積食而已。

Is my young master a little out of order, the first question is, What will my dear eat? What shall I get for thee? Eating and drinking are instantly pressed; and every body's invention is set on work, to find out something luscious and delicate enough to prevail over that want of appetite, which nature has wisely ordered in the beginning of distempers, as a defence against their increase; that being freed from the ordinary labour of digesting any new load in the stomach, she may be at leisure to correct and master the peccant humours.

當少主人有一點不舒服，第一個問題就是，"乖乖要吃什麽？要我拿什麽給你呢？" 吃與喝立刻就壓上了；而且每個人都想盡辦法去找珍饈美味來提振食欲，［卻不知］在疾病初起時，"自然"明智地降低食欲以阻止疾病的發展；這樣腸胃不再有新食物加入，它便可以騰出消化食物的精力，去糾正與克服疾病。

And where children are so happy in the care of their parents, as by their prudence to be kept from the excess of their tables, to the sobriety of a plain and simple diet, yet there too they are scarce to be preserved from the contagion that poisons the mind; though, by a discreet management whilst they are under tuition, their healths perhaps may be pretty well secure, yet their desires must needs yield to the lessons which every where will be read to them upon this part of epicurism. The commendation that eating well has every where, cannot fail to be a successful incentive to natural appetites, and bring them quickly to the liking and expence of a fashionable table. This shall have from every one, even the reprovers of vice, the title of living well. And what shall sullen reason dare to say against the publick testimony? Or can it hope to be heard, if it should call that luxury, which is so much owned and universally practised by those of the best quality?

有些小孩在他們父母照料下很快樂，由於父母的謹慎，他們不撐口腹之欲，安於清淡簡單的飲食，但是他們心智還是不免受到一種流俗的毒害；他們在受人管教的時候，雖因為慎重的教養，健康得以很好地保持，但是他們的欲望卻受到四處彌漫的享樂主義所誘惑。到處都稱許'要吃好'，這自然就剌激他們天生的胃口，使他們很快愛上時尚的筵席。每個人都有這樣的傾向，就連遠離惡習的人，也認為這隻是生活美好。有什麽不合時宜的理由使人敢反對這大眾的見證呢？假如這應被稱作奢侈，因為這麽多的精英人士也承認與實行它，又有誰會聽勸呢？

This is now so grown a vice, and has so great supports, that I know not whether it do not put in for the name of virtue; and whether it will not be thought folly, or want of knowledge of the world, to open one's mouth against it? And truly I should suspect, that what I have here said of it, might be censured as a little satire out of my way, did I not mention it with this view, that it might awaken the care and watchfulness of parents in the education of their children, when they see how they are beset on every side, not only with temptations, but instructors to vice, and that, perhaps, in those they thought places of security.

現在這已成為一種惡習，有如此眾多的支持，以致於我都不知道它是不是取得美德的名稱；這時有人開口反對，不知會不會被認為是胡說八道，或是不明世理？而且我真懷疑，我這裏所說的，可能被人指責為出格的譏諷，如果不是我已聲明，我的看法是為了引發父母對教育兒女的關心與警覺，使他們看到四麵八方都有困厄，不僅有誘惑，還有公然教導行惡的，也許連他們認為安全的場所也是如此。

I shall not dwell any longer on this subject, much less run over all the particulars that would shew what pains are used to corrupt children, and instil principles of vice into them: but I desire parents soberly to consider, what irregularity or vice there is which children are not visibly taught, and whether it be not their duty and wisdom to provide them other instructions.

關於這個問題，我不打算多說了，更不必回顧那些費力敗壞孩童、向他們灌輸邪惡原則的詳情了：我隻希望父母清醒考慮，想想小孩在不知不覺之中受了什麽不當或邪惡的教導，想想父母是不是有責任與智慧給他們提供別的教導。

CRAVING | It seems plain to me, that the principle of all virtue and excellency lies in a power of denying ourselves the satisfaction of our own desires, where reason does not authorize them. This power is to be got and improved by custom, made easy and familiar by an early practice. If therefore I might be heard, I would advise, that, contrary to the ordinary way, children should be used to submit their desires, and go without their longings, even from their very cradles. The first thing they should learn to know, should be, that they were not to have anything because it pleased them, but because it was thought fit for them. If things suitable to their wants were supplied to them, so that they were never suffered to have what they once cried for, they would learn to be content without it, would never, with bawling and peevishness, contend for mastery, nor be half so uneasy to themselves and others as they are, because from the first beginning they are not thus handled. If they were never suffered to obtain their desire by the impatience they expressed for it, they would no more cry for another thing, than they do for the moon.

欲求 |  我清楚地認為，一切美德和優秀品質的原則在於有能力克製我們自己、不去滿足理智所不容許的欲望。這種能力可以由習慣來獲得與提高，可以通過盡早練習來熟悉及運用自如。假如大家願意聽我的，我建議，與通常的做法相反，小孩應從搖籃開始，就習慣壓製他們的欲望，放棄渴求。他們應該學習懂得的第一件事情是，他們之所以獲得某件東西，不是因為它得他們的喜愛，而是因為它適合於他們。假如適合他們需要的東西都提供給他們，那麽他們就不用哭泣懇求來得到什麽東西，他們就能學會沒有它也能滿足，就絕不會大喊大叫和易怒地去爭取做主，也不會如他們現在的一半那樣令自己和別人都不安寧，因為他們從最初就不是這樣被對待的。假如他們從不需要表現不耐煩來使他們的欲望得到滿足，他們就不會哭求別的東西，就如他們不會哭著去要月亮一樣。

I say not this, as if children were not to be indulged in anything, or that I expected they should in hanging-sleeves have the reason and conduct of counsellors. I consider them as children, who must be tenderly used, who must play, and have play-things. That which I mean, is, that whenever they craved what was not fit for them to have or do, they should not be permitted it because they were little, and desired it: nay, whatever they were importunate for, they should be sure, for that very reason, to be denied. I have seen children at a table, who, whatever was there, never asked for anything, but contentedly took what was given them; and at another place, I have seen others cry for everything they saw; must be served out of every dish, and that first too. What made this vast difference but this? that one was accustomed to have what they called or cried for, the other to go without it. The younger they are, the less I think are their unruly and disorderly appetites to be complied with; and the less reason they have of their own, the more are they to be under the absolute power and restraint of those in whose hands they are. From which I confess it will follow, that none but discreet people should be about them. If the world commonly does otherwise, I cannot help that. I am saying what I think should be; which if it were already in fashion, I should not need to trouble the world with a discourse on this subject. But yet I doubt not, but when it is considered, there will be others of opinion with me, that the sooner this way is begun with children, the easier it will be for them and their governors too; and that this ought to be observed as an inviolable maxim, that whatever once is denied them, they are certainly not to obtain by crying or importunity, unless one has a mind to teach them to be impatient and troublesome, by rewarding them for it when they are so.

我並不是說，小孩不能在任何事情上得到寬縱，我也不期望他們還著童裝時就有外交家一樣的理智與行為。我認為他們作為孩子，應該得到溫柔的對待，他們應該玩耍，並有玩具。我的意思是，小孩熱中的東西或想做的事，如果不適合他們，決不可因為他們年紀小，渴望它，就允許他們；不，無論他們糾纏要什麽，正因為糾纏，他們更應被拒絕。我見過有些小孩，不管桌上有什麽，從不要求任何東西，隻滿足地享用給他們的東西；在別的地方，我見過別的小孩哭著要他們見到的每一樣東西；每一盤菜都要吃，而且要第一個吃。是什麽造成這樣大的差別呢？豈不是因為後者慣於得到所要的或者哭求的東西，而前者沒有也可以忍受。他們愈年幼，我認為，愈不應當滿足他們不受約束的和無理的欲望；他們自己愈少有理智，就愈應受到管教者絕對權力的管束。由此我承認，隻有謹慎持重的人才能管教小孩。假如世上通常不如此辦理，我也無可奈何。我說的隻是我認為當做的；假如這已是流行的辦法，我也不需要麻煩世人來討論這個主題。但是我相信，當這問題被思考時，必然有與我意見一致的人，認為這種方法對於小孩開始得愈早，對小孩與導師也就愈容易；這應作為不可違反的準則，就是無論什麽東西,一旦拒絕以後，不管小孩如何哭泣懇求，都不可再給他們，除非你有意讓他們變得沒有耐性和討厭，才可以這樣獎勵他們。

Those therefore that intend ever to govern their children, should begin it whilst they are very little, and look that they perfectly comply with the will of their parents. Would you have your son obedient to you when past a child; be sure then to establish the authority of a father as soon as he is capable of submission, and can understand in whose power he is. If you would have him stand in awe of you, imprint it in his infancy; and as he approaches more to a man, admit him nearer to your familiarity; so shall you have him your obedient subject (as is fit) whilst he is a child, and your affectionate friend when he is a man. For methinks they mightily misplace the treatment due to their children, who are indulgent and familiar when they are little, but severe to them, and keep them at a distance, when they are grown up: for liberty and indulgence can do no good to children; their want of judgment makes them stand in need of restraint and discipline; and on the contrary, imperiousness and severity is but an ill way of treating men, who have reason of their own to guide them; unless you have a mind to make your children, when grown up, weary of you, and secretly to say within themselves, When will you die, father?

因此那些有心管教小孩的人，便應在小孩很小的時候及早開始，使子女絕對服從父母的意誌。你如果希望你的兒子過了兒童時期以後仍舊服從你；你便要在他剛剛知道服從、明白自己受誰管教的時候，就立刻樹起做父親的威信。如果你希望他畏懼你，你便應在他的嬰兒時期就使他畏懼；當他年歲愈加長大，愈使他接近你的友好；這樣，他小時候是你的順從臣仆 (這是合適的)，長大成人後又是你的親密朋友。在我看來，家長對待小孩的方法錯得很離譜，他們在孩子小的時候親近而且放縱，在在孩子長大成人的時候卻嚴厲而且疏遠：因為自由與放縱對於小孩沒有什麽好處的，他們缺乏判斷力，使得他們必須受人管束；相反，成人有自己的理智引導他們，專橫與嚴厲對待他們是一種極壞的方法；除非你存心讓你的子女長大後討厭你，並在他們心中默念，"爸爸，你什麽時候死啊?"

I imagine every one will judge it reasonable, that their children, when little, should look upon their parents as their lords, their absolute governors, and as such stand in awe of them; and that when they come to riper years, they should look on them as their best, as their only sure friends, and as such love and reverence them. The way I have mentioned, if I mistake not, is the only one to obtain this. We must look upon our children, when grown up, to be like ourselves, with the same passions, the same desires. We would be thought rational creatures, and have our freedom; we love not to be uneasy under constant rebukes and brow-beatings, nor can we bear severe humours and great distance in those we converse with. Whoever has such treatment when he is a man, will look out other company, other friends, other conversation, with whom he can be at ease. If therefore a strict hand be kept over children from the beginning, they will in that age be tractable, and quietly submit to it, as never having known any other: and if, as they grow up to the use of reason, the rigour of government be, as they deserve it, gently relaxed, the father's brow more smoothed to them, and the distance by degrees abated, his former restraints will increase their love, when they find it was only a kindness to them, and a care to make them capable to deserve the favour of their parents, and the esteem of everybody else.

我想每個人都會認為以下看法是合理的，那就是，孩子小的時候，應該視父母為主宰、他們的絕對管轄者，並這樣去敬畏父母；而當孩子長大成熟的時候，應該視父母為他們最好的、唯一可靠的朋友，並這樣去敬愛父母。我所說的方法，假如我沒有錯的話，是達到這個目標的惟一途徑。當子女長大成人以後，我們應當把他們象我們自己一樣去看待，他們有我們一樣的激情、一樣的欲望。我們希望自己被看作是理性動物，有我們的自由；我不願意擔心別人的長年斥責和臉色，我們也不願意與人交接的時受到人家的奚落與冷淡。無論任何成人受此待遇，他都會另找伴侶，另找朋友，另找交談的對象，他可以與之輕鬆交往。倘若小孩從最初起就嚴格管教，他們小時候便會聽話順從，安靜地服從管教，因為除此以外他們不知道其它的方式；假如他們年紀長大到能夠運用理智以後，管束的嚴格程度就照他們所應受的漸漸放鬆，父親的臉色要更加和藹，父子間的距離要漸漸地縮短，父親以往的管教反而會增加他們的敬愛，因為他們會知道管教原是愛護他們，是照顧他們使其能值得接受父母的關愛與旁人尊重。

Thus much for the settling your authority over your children in general. Fear and awe ought to give you the first power over their minds, and love and friendship in riper years to hold it: for the time must come, when they will be past the rod and correction; and then, if the love of you make them not obedient and dutiful, if the love of virtue and reputation keep them not in laudable courses, I ask, what hold will you have upon them to turn them to it? Indeed, fear of having a scanty portion if they displease you, may make them slaves to your estate, but they will be nevertheless ill and wicked in private; and that restraint will not last always. Every man must some time or other be trusted to himself and his own conduct; and he that is a good, a virtuous, and able man, must be made so within. And therefore what he is to receive from education, what is to sway and influence his life, must be something put into him betimes; habits woven into the very principles of his nature, and not a counterfeit carriage, and dissembled outside, put on by fear, only to avoid the present anger of a father who perhaps may disinherit him.

關於在子女心目中樹立你的威信，一般就說這麽多了。畏懼與威嚴應使你取得支配他們心智的初始力量，到他們成熟後用愛與友誼去保持這力量：因為這一刻總會到來，棍子和懲戒都會失去效力；那時，假如你的愛不能使他們順從與負責，假如對美德和名譽的熱愛不能讓他們走受人稱許的道路，我問你，你有什麽辦法使他們走上正道呢？確實，害怕因惹你不高興而少得遺產，會讓他們成為你產業的奴隸，但是私下裏他們還是會行為邪惡；而且這種約束也不能永久存在。每個人都將有一個全憑自己與自己行為的時候；一個善良的、有德行的、能幹的人必須在內心裏如此培養。因此他受什麽樣的教育、受什麽樣的影響，必須及時傳授給他；那是習慣匯成他基本的天性，不是由恐懼掩飾而成外在的虛假姿態，隻為了避免父親因憤怒而剝奪他的繼承權。

 

摘自Some Thoughts Concerning Education (English-Chinese Edition)(ISBN-10: 1537479857)