暖冬cool夏
這裏一年四季溫暖如春，沒有酷暑沒有嚴寒......
The pandemic outbreak of coronavirus, raging like a wildfire in the states, forcibly shut down schools, stores, and offices. Entering the second week of working from home, I started to miss the days in office, where I am single-minded and have more time to myself. The almost routine 20+ minutes noon nap in the car is a luxury now, though a comfy bed is right next to me. With three mouths to feed, my lunch hour is busily spent in the kitchen.
It's Friday morning. The temperature outside is in its 60s. Getting up and having curtains drawn to the sides, I saw the sunlight casting through the rectangular window some patterns on the carpet, squared sun with shawdows of leafy willows dancing upon it. I sat with my back to the desk, a hiatus as the laptop is running the data. The room without heating, which is not recommended at the time of coronovirus, is cold. I drank some hot water, put on socks, but my toes still felt icy. As the hour ticked by, the sunny patterns on the floor changed, with and without leafy silhouette. The squared sunlight then got brighter and warmer, inviting me to place my feet in it.
It is a quiet morning, as I enjoy the reading of Maugham's Of Human Bondage on the Ipad. Without the muffled phone conversation from the next door (he is at meeting again), I would have thought it a weekend morning. The sun now shines shiningly on the leaves outside the window. The long hanging willow-like branches are dotted with pink bell-shaped flowers. I revel in the moment I spare for myself, knowing that soon I have to plunge back to work.
The other room across the aisle did not have any sound. She must be still in bed.
The "social distancing" is a buzz word now with rampant coronavirus infection numbers. While 6 feet is assumed to be safe, shall we also keep a distance in the family? If so, how many feet? "A bowl of soup", as people once suggested?
I learned not to wake her up, to give her enough space and freedom. Her coming home this time is not voluntary, and her slight antagonism puts me on a cautionary note. For the first few days, I was seized with a pang of remorse and anguish. I am no longer confident that I did the right thing to have her cancel the trip. As Maugham puts in his novel that " one profits more by the mistakes one makes off one’s own bat than by doing the right thing on somebody’s else advice. “
But is my advice considered as right?
She is a fully fledging bird, young she is in our eyes, her wings strong enough to steer her on her course. The new resting place, adrifting and away from home, has its appealing. And distance breeds differences, giving rise to the ultimate gap. Perhaps, she no longer feels at home in the place she once called home, scupulous we are to tend to her need.
The bond that ties us together for more than 20 years is not as strong as we thought. It is not cemented like concrete, but fragile and breakable.
Every day, I cook the best meals as I can, and then serve the plates outside the door for her to pick up, now that she is quarantined. The communication between us is very limited. But the meal must have done its job arousing in her the flavor of home, old sweet home in her memory, drawing her back nearer to me. As days go by, the grudge or bitterness, if any, melts away, like an ice in the water, like the sun penetrating the window, like a shell softening in the vinegar.
The night before, she offered to go grocery shopping with me, eager to cook her dish for us. With the masks on, we went to a Korean supermarket before it closes at eight. Back home, he came downstairs to help carry food and vegetables from the car. With a joke, we all laughed behind the masks, her eyes above the covered face beaming in the dim streetlight.
I am reading Maugham's novel Of Human Bondage now. It is a great read, and I highly recommend it to you. (You can download for free online). You will like it. The inner self revealed through his descriptive writing is immensely powerful, and of course the language and the structure help weave a masterpiece.
Thanks again for your encouraging comment. Take care!
I read your sadness and fully get it. I have a friend who are experiencing the same as you did. you are not alone. Your little girl has grown into an adult who has independent thoughts. It's hard to see it a good thing or bad thing. I believe you and her dad still are the two most important person in her heart.
Take care.
在美國長大的孩子都很有主見，我們家女兒也是，
不過，事實證明你這次沒讓她出去旅行是對的，孩子慢慢會理解的。
女兒回家了，發現人就是要相處才有感情，我會珍惜的，就如你說的，這樣的日子不會常有的。謝謝迪兒，保重啊!
你女兒的自覺性太強了，這樣嚴格的隔離真不容易。你在女兒身上的體驗，我也在我女兒身上看到。每次她回來，我經常想，幸虧隻有一個周末，時間長了我也受不了。
不過如你所說，磕磕絆絆一段之後，新的平衡會形成。這是病毒給我們帶來的團聚，按住自己的火氣，用心享受這段難得的時光。以後，我們都會懷念這一段日子。
我家兒子小一點，加上心思簡單，和他相處還算輕鬆。
The new cases in the state of WA is actually decreasing day by day, while the situation here in CA is getting worse:)) But as far as we stay at home, it shall be fine. God bless America! Thanks for sharing, and take care, 聞香!
Yes, we interrupted their travel plans, but in retrospect we were right, they now understand why we did it. Through this, our relationship will only be better.
女兒在家的日子是不是好像又回到了她高中時代？突然發現一天要做兩頓飯，而且每頓飯還要費心思做孩子喜歡吃的；）
Thanks for saying that. Hopefully kids growing up in America will agree that blood is thicker than water:)) I can only change myself. Yes, let's be strong ourselves, physically and mentally. Thanks, my friend. Have a great week too!
I have been reading that book for a long time at snail pace. I like the quote but more importantly, whatever I do, I feel pointless to blame these days. Nothing compares with the blood tie between parents and children. So I don't worry about it and just need to be strong myself.
Have a great week.
那天大杉短信賣弄中文 包子打狗。 俺乘機灌輸 狗咬呂洞賓，忠言逆耳，良藥苦口，苦口婆心 :)