詩人侃哲學, 醉漢辯人生：一派胡言
My humanity is incessant self-overcoming --a quote from Friedrich Nietzsche
作為一種社會行為，拍馬屁往往受到大家的垢病，被看成是品位低下，庸俗造作的表現。其實大可不必。拍馬屁和成年人的性行為，以及我們恨之入骨同時又癡愛至深的金錢一樣，都是中性的，超然於善惡之上，完全取決於我們怎麽用它。
我一直很會拍馬屁，而且受益匪淺。一生闖過很多禍，但是始終有貴人保護拯救，沒有陷入滅頂之災。這些貴人可以是讀書時的導師，工作後的老板，抑或是國內當年的單位領導。前女友曾經驚訝於我這種桀傲不馴，離經叛道的主，離婚後居然有一票老太太們樂於招我做女婿。
在這邊公司裏混飯吃，拍馬屁的本領照樣有用武之地。有一年公司經營不善，瀕臨破產，銀行把我們置於receivership 下。當時大頭們開得開，走得走，我的老板被扶起來在等待新買主期間收拾殘局。那時候人心惶惶，大家都在找退路。老板和我談起對士氣的擔心(我是掌管公司ERP 係統的）。我對老板說：I never work for dumb ass. I chose to work for you and I have no regret. I'll stay with you until last minute. If this place ever gets shut down I'll be the last person to close the door behind you". 這番話說得老板一邊揉眼睛一邊回答：Don't do this to me. You hit me hard in my heart".我沒有撒謊。我說的是我肯定要做的。但是我沒有告訴他我當時有一個美國的客戶，許諾一旦公司出問題就把我從consultant 轉成 full-time幫我渡過難關。
老板喜歡喝 single malt whisky。我每個聖誕節會送他一瓶＄３００左右的酒。我相信管理層裏我是唯一一個這麽做的。和往年一樣，今年他收到酒又跑到我辦公室對我說：You do this every year. you should not do this anymore. I don't know what to tell you to stop you. but I know you are not going to listen to me. 我對他說：No, you can't stop me. We both have miserable life, you and me. there are not many things that can bring smile on our faces. but I know for sure single malt whisky will make you smile. you pay me well enough to give you a bottle each and every year. 說得他搖搖頭，歎歎氣，走了。
有一天，正在和財務總監簽公司的支票，老板走進來，說起去外地的分公司查看，當地的VP抱怨說銷售額上不去，主要是我們答應過的加到係統上的幾個功能沒到位。老板說：I am pissed. so I told him to f*ck off. those functions are going to cost a few hundred thousand dollars. these guys are so busy and up to their eyeballs. it is going to be another year before we can get it done. 聽到這話，我對老板說＂this is exactly why as your captains we will kill for you." 老板有點迷惑，問道＂what do you mean?" 我說：We appreciated the way you handled this. instead of running us down in front of the regional VP's, you told them to back off and protected us. you can then come back to give us sh*t because we did not deliver what we should have. it would have been a totally different feeling if you had given us sh*t together with the regional guys. what you did is the way a good leader should be". 財務總監在一旁也附和我的感受。老板有點不好意思，撓撓禿頭說 ＂get the f*ck out of my face".
講這些小故事，隻是想說隻要是人，不論黃，黑，白，不論身處大洋彼岸還是大洋此岸，都有一些相通之處。office politics 不但應當玩，而且要玩好。以幾句簡單的好話，為自己營造一個融洽舒適的工作環境，是一筆少有的一本萬利的買賣。
性格的轉變是我們的意誌力和生存環境相互作用的結果。作為動物王國的後裔，我們生來就有著＂適者生存＂的基因，隻不過在大多數人的一生中，並沒有太多激發這種基因的契機。但是一旦被投入一個險惡的生存環境（比如文革，反右，知青，等等），或是要在一種新的文化氛圍中打拚以求得生存發展（比如移民，留學，等等），這種契機就出現了。