皮皮蝦
Will update later on.
[作者父親的話]
蝦女的這篇文章發表在美國著名的媒體上，寫於2017年9月初飛往西非之前在紐約肯尼迪國際機場轉機時，那時她剛剛高中畢業不久。
她在前法國殖民地塞內加爾度過了大約一年的gap year（間隔年)，在那裏的一所高中她用剛學的法語教英文，離開時法文已達AP水平。她也學會了當地土著語言。她還和兩位同伴創建了英語學習電台，從募捐買下黃金時段的頻道到播音製作節目，臨離開時又製定規章使之傳承給接手人，完全親力親為。這段＂非人＂的生活收獲極大。結束非洲的項目後的那年秋季， 她開始了在牛津的大學生活。
女兒的這篇文章最初發在她自己的博客上，然後先被著名的Huffington Post看中，經考慮女兒拒絕了該媒體轉載，後來被另一家專注教育的媒體看中而刊登。
?本蝦初讀此文時是女兒剛到非洲時，心中有許多感慨，時有淚花模糊了文字。過去我對她的任性以及由此而來的擔憂和牽掛有了些許緩解，而對她的理解和驕傲又增了一分。老爸需要和女兒一起成長，做父親的要有一顆大心髒，讓孩子走最遠的路，做最好的自己。
Taking Charge of My Own Learning
我的學習我做主
作者：Shannon Yang
翻譯：《奴隸社會》編輯
Why are you taking a gap year?”
為什麽你決定“gap year”(間隔年)？
The question would often catch me unprepared, like a storm coming earlier than forecasted. I would often shrug and tell the curious asker that I just needed a little more time, or that I felt burnt out, or that I was young for my grade anyway.
這個問題常令我措手不及，像一場提前到來的風暴。我常聳聳肩，告訴那個好奇的提問者，我隻是需要再多一點時間，或者我感覺有些疲倦，又或者我反正比同級學生更小[注：作者曾跳了一級］。
Though all of these answers were true, they felt shallow and incomplete and, most importantly, they lacked a sense of direction–a narrative that made my goals clear. So after reflecting on this exact question all summer, I was able to determine what my intentions were. I can now tell you basically a million reasons why I'm taking a gap year or why you should, too. And most central to this reasoning is the idea of learning.
盡管所有這些回答都是真實存在的，它們卻讓我感覺淺薄、不完整。更為重要的是，這些回答缺少方向感，而那是一種讓我的目標更明確的表述。我花了整個暑假沉思這一問題的答案，終於，我想清楚了自己最真誠的意圖。這也就是為什麽盡管我可以告訴你一百萬個進行gap year的理由，我還是想說，最重要的原因，是（我想要真正地/自主）學習。
The word "learning,”as it has come to mean in our society, has been synonymous with "school": a mandatory, formal and structured system put in place to educate the next generation. The problem with this 1:1 correspondence between learning and school is that it fails to recognize that school often is not conducive to learning and that sometimes the best learning occurs outside of the classroom.
在我們這個社會中，“學習”已成為了“學校”的同義詞，一個用於教育下一代的強製性的、正式的、結構化的係統。這種學習和學校之間的一一對應關係存在一個問題：它沒有意識到學校常常是不利於學習的，而最寶貴的學習有時恰恰在教室之外 。
In the context of my gap/bridge year, it's been difficult for me to internalize this idea for myself, despite the fact that I was exposed to "alternate paths to success" and the idea wasn't difficult to grasp intellectually. Fears pop up in my head comparing me to my friends, who are leaving for college, to learn and to grow and to lead, while I would be creating a "gap" in my life.
就我的gap year計劃而言，盡管我早就知道成功的路徑不止一條（這一概念並不難於理解，）我還是很難內化gap year的想法並與之和平相處。同儕壓力有時讓我感到恐懼：我的朋友們會進入大學， 學習、成長、並成為領袖，而我似乎正在主動選擇給生命創造一個“缺口”。
For the first eight-ish years of my public school journey, school was incredibly fun. I haven't been able to process or reflect on this until recently, but I remember the day my first-grade teacher, Ms. Bruno, asked the class to split our mini whiteboards into halves of the same shape and equal area. We each squeaked our markers and drew a line either horizontally or vertically across the center of our little rectangles. As we wiped our rags to erase, she asked us to split it into quarters, to which we responded by drawing pluses and X's. Then eighths. And then Ms. Bruno asked us to do thirds, and we were all stumped.
（事實上，）我在公立學校的前八年過得非常愉快。盡管直到最近我才有機會去反思我的這段經曆，我始終記得一年級時的一堂課。老師Ms. Bruno讓我們把自己的小白板分成形狀大小相同的兩半，我們每個人都興奮地掏出馬克筆，通過小小矩形的中心畫出了或橫向或縱向的線條。我們把筆跡擦掉後，老師又讓我們把小白板分成四塊，我們也很快的解決了問題：我們經過白板中心畫出“+”號或者一個“X”。八等分也不是什麽難事。突然，Ms. Bruno讓我們把白板三等分，我們一時被難倒了。
My classmates and I drew lines from the center of the board, almost peace-symbol-looking, spread out at 120-degree angles. One student I peeked at who was frustrated at the rectangular shape of the board had actually drawn a circle on it and split that circle into three slices. After much agony, something finally clicked and I had a breakthrough. I realized that, unlike the other examples, the solution wasn't to have equal sectors radiating out from a center but to draw two parallel lines on the board. I was mindblown. With two proud squeak noises, I had completed the challenge, and slowly, the whole class had figured it out, too.
我的同學和我經過白板中心畫出了一個類似“和平標誌”的形狀，線條兩兩之間成120度夾角。我（甚至）看到一個因把矩形三等分而困擾的學生選擇去畫一個圓在白板上並把圓三等分。經過一陣苦思，我腦海突然靈光一現。我意識到，與之前的情況不同，這次的解決辦法並不是畫出通過中央輻射的線條，而是在白板上畫出兩條平行線。我終於想出來了！隨著馬克筆兩聲驕傲的嗄吱聲，我圓滿完成了挑戰。逐漸地，其他同學也想出了解決辦法。
It was moments like these that drove me to push myself. Moments that made me itch in curiosity. Moments that provided me with the exhilarating thrill of figuring something out that was so new and unfamiliar and challenging, yet so rewarding. I loved being able to connect what I had so ingeniously figured out to the next concepts we learned. And since I had figured it out myself rather than things just being told to me, I felt like I was playing an active role in my education and was able to understand the concepts better because I understood why. I was encouraged to ask questions, to find creative solutions and to collaborate with my peers.
正是像這樣的時刻激勵我不斷超越自我。在這些時刻，我的好奇心蠢蠢欲動；在這些時刻，我麵對全新的未知的挑戰，（而能夠不膽怯地衝上前去，）享受解決問題後令人振奮的快樂。我喜歡將我創見性的想法與下一步要學習的內容有機結合起來。而正因為我是自主性地弄明白了這些問題而不是被填鴨式地告知答案，我感覺在自己的教育中承擔了更積極的角色，知道“為什麽”讓我對這些概念有了更好的理解。（在這八年，）我被鼓勵去提問，去找到更有創造力的解決方式，去和同伴們團結合作。
As I approached the high school years, things began to change. At some point, I had stopped deriving formulas and started to memorize them blindly just to regurgitate them. I didn't understand how they connected, how they fit into a bigger picture. I had lost the meaning in homework—it was often frustrating and felt like a waste of time. Suddenly, school became a race for the best grades, the best scores. It became unsafe to take risks, to be creative, and to make mistakes. It became seemingly impossible to fail and come out of the other side okay.
當我升入高中後，事情發生了變化。不知何時開始，我不再需要推演公式，而是為了能夠快速枚舉而盲目記憶它們。我並不理解它們是如何相互聯係的，以及它們在整個知識體係中處於何種位置。我也不知道作業的意義在哪裏——做作業經常隻是令人懊喪，讓我感覺是在浪費時間。突然地，學校變成了一個分數的競速場。嚐試承擔風險、嚐試更有創造力、嚐試犯錯誤都成為了不安全的選項。失敗看起來代價沉重，而你難以擺脫它的陰影。
The purpose of grades is to incentivize students to do well in school and to measure their progress, whether that means for themselves or for parents or for college apps. But sometimes the best learning happens between or beyond the metrics, and doing well in school didn't always mean learning. It meant quickly cramming and just as quickly un-cramming, filling in the blanks and writing to fulfill the bullets on the rubric rather than to simply write well.
（我知道）分數的本意是衡量學生的學習成果並激勵他們好好學習，無論這種意義是在於學生自身、學生家長、或是大學申請。但有時候最好的學習過程並不能夠用分數衡量，在學校表現好也不總意味著真正學到東西。好成績有時隻意味著學得快忘得快，填空或寫出標準格式的要點，這甚至稱不上是合意的寫作。
Through the value placed on grades over learning itself, I had lost my intrinsic motivation to succeed and was faced with the decision to compromise my values for the larger system at play. In fact, multiple teachers in my high school career have told me that what I needed wasn't to get good at the subject matter. It was to get good at playing the game–at "doing school."
重視成績多於學習過程本身的後果是，我失去了內心最真誠的對於成功的渴望，並且麵臨著在這個巨大的既定係統中妥協自我價值的難題。事實上，高中階段遇到的許多老師都告訴我說，了解事情的本質並不重要，重要的是在“上學”這個“遊戲”中成為贏家。
How do you expect me to think deeply when I've been continuously wading in this shallow scenario? How do you expect me to think outside of the box when my classrooms my whole life have been boxes?
當我不斷地在淺薄的腳本裏涉水時，你如何期望我能深入地思考？當我的課堂我的整個生命都一直在框框裏時，你如何期待我想問題跳出框框？
In the classroom, nothing real is at stake. Your dignity, reputation or friendships are never really on the line—only your grade is. So important skills like grit and empathy are turned into impersonal, robotic factors if they are even considered at all. In the classroom, decisions are made for you without ever needing critical thinking, and there are right and wrong answers, with no gray areas.
在課堂上，沒有什麽真正的危險。你的尊嚴，名譽或者友情從來不會被危及——隻有成績會。所以像性格堅毅或者富有同理心這樣重要的品質幾乎不會被考慮在內，即使考慮，它們也會被量化為客觀的、機械的指標。在課堂裏，為你做的決定根本不需要批判性思維，隻有正確或錯誤的答案，沒有灰色地帶。
Over the past week, I've connected with others who will be embarking on similar journeys, and I've realized that though I may come from a high school with a reputation for being especially competitive and stressful, my experience with the education system is nowhere near unique. It's echoed in the stories of students from different backgrounds and socioeconomic statuses, throughout the nation and even the world. We've all been stuck running on the treadmill of a toxic system, a broken system. And through our gap years, we are getting off.
在過去的一周裏，我與一些將與我走向相似征途的人建立了聯係。通過交流我意識到，盡管我所在的高中以競爭激烈和充滿壓力而聞名，我在教育體係中的經曆卻實在十分普遍。我在這些來自全國各地甚至世界各地、具有不同背景和社會經濟條件的學生的故事中找到了我自己故事的影子。這是個支離破碎的有毒的教育係統。這個係統中的我們像在跑步機上跑步，永不停歇，卻又從未前進半分。而gap year會是我真正踏下這台跑步機的時候。
I need to rekindle that love of learning that I've always had, feel the same sparks of curiosity that I felt in first grade. And I'm not ashamed that I have to take a year "off" to do that. I need some time to cleanse myself, to take life slowly and to be carefree. I want to learn according to my own needs, not for my goals to be dictated by an educational institution. To me, it's actually a year on.
我需要重燃我對於學習的熱愛，喚起我在一年級時曾抱有的探索未知的好奇。我並不感覺花一年“脫離”去做好這一點是一件令人羞愧的事。我需要一些時間來清洗頭腦，從容生活，拋卻憂慮。我的學習會出於我自己的熱情和需要，而不是某個教育機構指定的目標。對我來說，這其實是“上陣”的一年。
For the next year, the world is my classroom. It has so much to teach and to offer. I can't wait to immerse myself in a new language and culture, build connections with those around me, be vulnerable and open to new experiences, understand global issues from a different perspective, learn how to be grittier, more compassionate, become a better leader and discover the complexities of the gray areas in life.
接下來的一年，世界會是我的教室，它可以教我太多，給予我太多。我迫不及待地想要沉浸在新的語言和新的文化中，和周圍的人建立聯係，不斷嚐試新的事物，從全新的角度理解世界話題。我還要學會更堅毅，更有同情心，成為一個更好的領導者，去探索生活中灰色地帶的複雜之處。
I hope my experiences will make an indelible impression on me. I'll emerge refreshed, with that childhood curiosity in a mature adult mind. I'm excited to go back to college afterward with the lessons I'll learn this year in mind, keeping me grounded and motivated, and informing the work I do, giving me a sense of purpose.
我希望這段經曆最終會給我留下不可磨滅的烙印。待我歸來時，我會成為全新的自己，帶著孩提時的好奇心和長大後的成熟心智；待我歸來時，我會攜著一年之所學興奮地踏入大學校門，而這一年的經曆會讓我在仰望星空的同時又能夠腳踏實地。我會更明確自己的方向，並向著那個方向努力。
So here I am, sitting in the middle of John F. Kennedy International Airport waiting for my flight to Dakar to board, trying to hear my own voice amidst the beeping of carts, the news on the TV, the PA system, others' phone calls and the wails of babies. The brew of emotions I'm feeling is indescribable. I think I'm scared, excited, overwhelmed and in denial all at the same time. But I remind myself that it's for the better.
這也是為什麽我會在這裏，JFK機場，等待登上去往Dakar（達喀爾）的航班。行李車咕嚕咕嚕地經過，電視上在播放新聞，廣播係統在通知航班信息，有人正在打電話，小嬰兒的哭聲間歇傳過來。在這些嘈雜中，我試圖傾聽自己心裏的聲音，它難以言喻卻又異常清晰。緊張、激動、不堪重負、拒絕的情緒同時席卷而來。但是那個聲音告訴我，我會變得更好。
There's a story I was told when I was younger. A war general and his troops had crossed a river to reach enemy territory. After everyone got off the ships, he burned them. There was no turning back. There was no retreat. They were all in.
我小時候曾經聽過一個故事。一個將軍帶領軍隊跨過河流襲擊敵人駐地。所有人下船後，將軍燒掉了船隻。他們沒有退路，隻能全力以赴。
I used to think this was incredibly stupid of him to do. He had removed his backup plan, his safety net. But it turns out doing that meant he didn't need it. Knowing that retreat wasn't an option, they were motivated to fight harder, to win. Burning the ships drove them forward.
當時的我認為這個決定簡直是太愚蠢了。他拋棄了備選計劃，就等於失去了安全網。現在我終於明白，他並不需要備選計劃。當他的軍隊知道“撤退”不再成為一種選項，他們戰鬥得更加勇猛，因為擺在他們麵前的，隻有“贏”一條路可走。原來，燒掉船是為了讓他們走得更遠。
Soon, I'll be scanning my boarding pass to board the plane, and when the wheels leave the ground, I'll be burning the ships behind me. I'm taking a huge leap of faith, but I know I can't live in two places at once. I want to be all in, to immerse myself fully and be present. Retreating would be the wrong choice. Because using the world as a tool to learn is magical.
很快，我將掃碼登機。當飛機離開地麵時，就是我燒毀我的“船隻”時。我正在經曆一次巨大的信仰飛躍，但我知道人不能同時活在兩地。我會全力以赴，活在當下，沉浸此時。“撤退”不會成為我的選項，因為將世界作為學習的工具該是多麽的神奇！
2017.9.2
如果你的夢想沒嚇著你，那這夢想就不夠大
[作者介紹］
Shannon Yang, 2017年於矽穀一所高中名校畢業，2018年秋季入讀牛津大學久負盛名的PPE（政經哲）專業。
高中時期，Shannon顯示出語言、寫作和數學的天賦。她的西班牙語和數學均跳了一級。西班牙語在十一年級已完成了兩門AP，曾獲西班牙語全國考試金牌，全校拚字比賽（Spelling Bee）第3名，目前掌握英文、西班牙文、中文、法文和西非沃爾夫（Wolof）等5種語言，略通德語。寫作和新聞方麵多次獲獎，包括國際青少年新聞（International Youth Journalism）寫作獎一等獎1 項、榮譽獎5項，藝術及寫作競賽Scholastic Art & Writing Awards的全美銀牌和西部賽區2金、2銀、2榮譽獎，新聞教育協會社論類全國銀獎、網絡新聞北加州金獎等。她還是校報多年的記者，並在全國和地方報紙雜誌發表文章。Shannon在數學競賽上也表現突出，自八年級以來連續五次打入全美數學邀請賽AIME（每年全美約5000人入圍)，連續四年獲邀參加在MIT的女子數學大獎賽MPfG（美加最佳女子250人有資格)。
在繁忙學習之餘，Shannon還積極參加各種課外活動，在高中數個俱樂部擔任重要職務，包括西班牙語俱樂部（外宣)、數學俱樂部（副主席)、模擬聯合國（大會主席）等，獲得模擬聯合國矽穀大會的最佳研究獎。
Shannon 熱心公益，高中累積社區服務達上千小時。她入選學區的少數族裔及資優谘詢委員會三年，高中課時調整委員會負責溝通的共同主席二年，矽穀地區青少年心理健康工作委員會一年，防止自殺項目組長一年，市青少年谘詢委員會外聯組長三年，灣區青少年環境和可持續性大會谘詢委員會成員一年。她曾數次赴州府參加學生議會，任州教育委員會學生委員二年。她數年義務服務於許多項目，包括城市青少年財務普及、市青少年環境氣候項目社交媒體經理、初中母校數學競賽MathCounts輔導、加州YMCA模擬聯合國教練和青年參政項目成員、高中一對一功課輔導、教師助理等。鑒於她的突出表現，學區教師家長學生協會頒給她最特別服務獎（全市每年隻頒二份獎給學生)。
高中幾年的假期，Shannon除參加一些項目和夏令營外，還從一些實習和工作中獲取經驗，共從事過六份帶薪工作。
高中畢業後，Shannon利用間隔年（gap year）去西非塞內加爾的一個小鎮高中用法語教英語，還輔導了一家6至14歲的課後班，同時在那裏創辦了英語學習電台並擴展了相關網站並在離開時完成了所有章程，使之可以以公司形式永續化經營。該項目的三人團隊獲得T-Mobile主辦的三十名全美最佳Changemaker Challenge （改變及挑戰)）獎，並獲該公司高管的特別培訓和董事長接見。結束非洲項目後的暑假又赴明尼蘇達州語言村做中文教師。
Shannon還是矽穀地區創業大賽的積極參加者，獲得過團體第一（Code Day）和第二（Startup weekend)）的好成績。
