1917年，克利福德（Clifford）奉父親之命，從戰場前線請假回家與康妮結婚，匆匆度完蜜月又返回部隊。不久他受傷，雖然保住性命，但腰部以下終身癱瘓了，隻能坐在輪椅上生活。聰明活潑、精力充沛的康妮盡心照顧喪失生活能力和性功能的丈夫，協助他寫小說。死氣沉沉的生活讓她備受煎熬。
勞倫斯用自然界中的各種植物來影射夫妻關係微妙的變化。
小說第七章，康妮雇了博爾頓太太來看護丈夫。博爾頓太太是個好幫手，“然而，克利福德在自己內心深處從未原諒康妮，因為她把對他的貼身護理交給了一個陌生的雇傭來的婦人。他對自己說，這殺死了他和她之間親密關係的真正花朵。但是康妮並不介意。他們親密的美麗花朵對她來說就像蘭花一樣，鱗莖寄生在她的生命之樹上，在她的眼中，開出了一種十分粗陋的花朵。
現在她有了更多屬於自己的時間，可以在自己的房間裏輕柔地彈著鋼琴，然後唱：‘不要觸摸蕁麻，因為愛之束縛很難解開。’直到最近，她才意識到有多麽難解開，這愛之束縛。但是，感謝上蒼，她終於把它們解開了！她很高興能獨自一人，而不必總是和他說話。當他獨自一人時，他打-打-打著打字機，無窮無盡地打著。但是當他不‘工作’，而她又在他身邊時，他說話，總是說話，無窮細致地分析人和動機、結果、性格和個性，現在她已經受夠了。多年來，她曾經愛著這樣的談話，直到她受夠了，突然地，這些多到她不能忍受了。她很感恩，終於能夠一個人呆著。
他倆的意識中，好像生著成千上萬細微的根塊和小絲線，糾結成一個亂團，直至再也擠不下了，而整個植物快要死了。現在，悄悄地，微妙地，她解開了他倆意識之間的糾結，一條一條地，又耐心又著急地輕斬亂絲，使自己脫離出來。盡管博爾頓太太的到來是個很大的幫助，但是，這種愛的束縛比大多數束縛更不容易解開。 ”
（Clifford, however, inside himself, never quite forgave Connie for giving up her personal care of him to a strange hired woman. It killed, he said to himself, the real flower of the intimacy between him and her. But Connie didn't mind that. The fine flower of their intimacy was to her rather like an orchid, a bulb stuck parasitic on her tree of life, and producing, to her eyes, a rather shabby flower.
Now she had more time to herself she could softly play the piano, up in her room, and sing: 'Touch not the nettle, for the bonds of love are ill to loose.' She had not realized till lately how ill to loose they were, these bonds of love. But thank Heaven she had loosened them! She was so glad to be alone, not always to have to talk to him. When he was alone he tapped-tapped-tapped on a typewriter, to infinity. But when he was not 'working', and she was there, he talked, always talked; infinite small analysis of people and motives, and results, characters and personalities, till now she had had enough. For years she had loved it, until she had enough, and then suddenly it was too much. She was thankful to be alone.
It was as if thousands and thousands of little roots and threads of consciousness in him and her had grown together into a tangled mass, till they could crowd no more, and the plant was dying. Now quietly, subtly, she was unravelling the tangle of his consciousness and hers, breaking the threads gently, one by one, with patience and impatience to get clear. But the bonds of such love are more ill to loose even than most bonds; though Mrs Bolton's coming had been a great help.）
以上的描寫中，查泰萊夫婦對夫妻之間的親密關係有著不同的理解。丈夫認為那是“真正花朵”，而妻子卻視為寄生在大樹上的粗鄙蘭花。她甚至覺得，愛的束縛好比糾結成亂團的小根塊，再也沒有生長的空間，而且將要導致整個植物的死亡。盡管如此，愛的束縛很難解開，輕輕一碰，就如同觸碰到蕁麻，蜂蟄般疼痛難忍。
（蕁麻）
可是，如果僅僅用無性婚姻來解釋查泰萊夫人的外遇，未免有些膚淺。他倆的三觀太不一致了，即使克利福德沒有發生不幸的意外，兩人的婚姻也是注定齟齬不斷的。查泰萊夫婦生活在肮髒的工業文明與田園牧歌的老英國的交界地帶，克利福德繼承了父親的產業和爵位，他代表著冰冷的現代工業文明以及被現代文明異化扭曲的自然本性。而康妮卻是渴望回歸自然的有血有肉的女性。小說第八章，作者通過與花草有關的細節來渲染夫妻之間的認知衝突。現舉出以下幾個例子：
第八章後半節，康妮從守林人的小屋後采了一些水仙花，然後回到家中。克利福德問她去哪兒。她答：“一直穿到了林子裏！瞧，這些小小的水仙花不是很可愛嗎？想一想，它們是從泥土中出來的！”（"Right across the wood! Look, aren't the little daffodils adorable? To think they should come out of the earth!"）
克利福德說：“也是從空氣和陽光裏出來的。”（"Just as much out of air and sunshine,”）
康妮立刻反駁道：“卻是在泥土中塑成的。”她有點驚訝自己能反駁得這麽快。（"But modelled in the earth," she retorted, with a prompt contradiction, that surprised her a little.）
第二天下午，她又去了樹林，終於在小屋裏見到了守林人梅勒斯，兩人之間的第一次交談並不那麽愉快。她回到家中，發現丈夫正等著她泡下午茶。“她把保溫套套在茶壺上，然後站起身來為她的紫香堇找一個小玻璃杯。那些可憐的花，在莖上低垂著。”（She put the tea-cosy over the tea-pot, and rose to get a little glass for her violets. The poor flowers hung over, limp on their stalks.）
“它們會活過來的。”她說，把杯子裏的花端到他的麵前讓他聞。（"They'll revive again!" she said, putting them before him in their glass for him to smell.）
在這裏，勞倫斯用低垂的花暗示克利福德喪失了性功能，因此他們的婚姻關係是有缺陷的，可是康妮還抱著一絲修複的幻想。
（紫香堇）
接著，克利福德引用了莎士比亞《冬天的童話》中的一句話：“比朱諾的眼瞼還要甜美。”（Sweeter than the lids of Juno's eyes）
“我不覺得這句詩與這些真實的紫香堇有任何關聯。” 她說， “伊麗莎白時代的人頗為矯情。”（"I don't see a bit of connection with the actual violets," she said. "The Elizabethans are rather upholstered."）
好天氣持續著，連坐在輪椅上的克利福德都打算去林子裏，康妮陪著他一起去。“在榛樹矮林裏，懸著淡金色的柔荑花絮，在陽光充足的地方，林地銀蓮花盛開，仿佛因生命的喜悅而驚呼，正如往日人們可以和它們一起驚呼一樣。 它們散發著淡淡的蘋果香。 康妮為克利福德采了一些。
他接住這些花，好奇地看著。 ”
（In the hazel copse catkins were hanging pale gold, and in sunny places the wood-anemones were wide open, as if exclaiming with the joy of life, just as good as in past days, when people could exclaim along with them. They had a faint scent of apple-blossom. Connie gathered a few for Clifford.
He took them and looked at them curiously.）
（榛樹的柔荑花）
（林地銀蓮花）
接著，克利福德引用了約翰·濟慈（John Keats）的《希臘古甕頌》 (Ode on a Grecian Urn) 的第一行詩句來形容銀蓮花：“汝似未被奸汙的嫻靜新娘 ”（Thou still unravished bride of quietness），並認為“這句詩用在花上比用在希臘花瓶上更適合。”（It seems to fit flowers so much better than Greek vases."）
他的引經據典引起了康妮的強烈反彈，下麵幾段文字很精彩，翻譯如下：
“‘奸汙這個字真是太可怕了！”她說：“隻有人類才奸汙事物。’（"Ravished is such a horrid word!" she said. "It's only people who ravish things."）
‘哦，我不知道……蝸牛和其他東西，’他說。
‘即使蝸牛也隻是啃噬它們，而蜜蜂不會奸汙。’
她生起他的氣來，他把一切都變成了空虛的字眼。 紫香堇是朱諾的眼瞼，風花是未被奸汙的新娘。 她多麽討厭這些空虛的字眼，總是介於她和生活之間：他們就是奸汙者，這些現成的單詞和短語，吮吸了一切有生命的東西的精華。
與克利福德的散步並不十分成功。 在他和康妮之間，存在著一種緊張關係，每個人都假裝沒有注意到，但是這種狀態確實擺在那兒。 突然間，她以女性的全部本能將他推開。 她想從他那裏擺脫出來，尤其是他的意識，他的空虛的字眼，他的自我迷戀，無盡的單調的自我迷戀，以及他本人的空虛的言語。 ”
（"Oh, I don't know. . .snails and things," he said.
"Even snails only eat them, and bees don't ravish."
She was angry with him, turning everything into words. Violets were Juno's eyelids, and windflowers were on ravished brides. How she hated words, always coming between her and life: they did the ravishing, if anything did: ready-made words and phrases, sucking all the life-sap out of living things.）
The walk with Clifford was not quite a success. Between him and Connie there was a tension that each pretended not to notice, but there it was. Suddenly, with all the force of her female instinct, she was shoving him off. She wanted to be clear of him, and especially of his consciousness, his words, his obsession with himself, his endless treadmill obsession with himself, and his own words.）
一兩天後，康妮在雨中外出，來到了守林人的小木屋。木屋鎖著，裏麵空無一人。她坐在粗陋的門簷下的由原木製成的門檻上，看著雨，聽著雨聲，注意到“古老的橡樹環立著，灰色有力的樹幹被雨濕成了黑色，圓圓的，充滿了生命力，向四周甩著狂放的四肢。地麵上完全沒有雜草，銀蓮花到處都是，有一兩株接骨木，或是雪球莢蒾，和一團纏結的紫色的黑莓灌木。在銀蓮花的綠色裙擺下，老的紅棕色的蕨菜幾乎消失了。或許這就是未被奸汙的地方之一，未被奸汙！而全世界都被奸汙了。”
（Old oak-trees stood around, grey, powerful trunks, rain-blackened, round and vital, throwing off reckless limbs. The ground was fairly free of undergrowth, the anemones sprinkled, there was a bush or two, elder, or guelder-rose, and a purplish tangle of bramble: the old russet of bracken almost vanished under green anemone ruffs. Perhaps this was one of the unravished places.
Unravished! The whole world was ravished.）
（接骨木）
（雪球莢迷）
勞倫斯顯然在現實生活中注意到了現代工業文明對自然環境的破壞，通過康妮的心理活動，把以克利福德為代表的那些資本家的糟蹋環境的行徑視為“奸汙”。資本家們平日裏說著標準英語，動輒引經據典，卻缺乏溫情與憐憫，話語裏充滿了冷酷。生長著銀蓮花的這片山林，應該是回歸本性的最好去處，在他們的嘴裏，卻是“未被奸汙過的”地方。
康妮憤怒地想：“某種東西是不能被奸汙的。你不能奸汙一罐沙丁魚。許多女子就像罐子裏的沙丁魚一樣，男人也如此。但是，這地球…!”（Some things can't be ravished. You can't ravish a tin of sardines. And so many women are like that; and men. But the earth. . .!）
“雨變小了，橡樹之間沒有那麽暗了。康妮想離開，卻仍舊坐在那兒。她感覺冷了，但內心的憎恨而產生的不可抗拒的慣性壓著她，使她像麻痹似的呆在那兒。
被奸汙！一個都沒被觸摸過的人怎可遭奸汙。被死氣沉沉的字眼奸汙過的變成了淫穢，被死氣沉沉的觀念奸汙過的變成了困擾。”
（The rain was abating. It was hardly making darkness among the oaks any more. Connie wanted to go; yet she sat on. But she was getting cold; yet the overwhelming inertia of her inner resentment kept her there as if paralysed.
Ravished! How ravished one could be without ever being touched. Ravished by dead words become obscene, and dead ideas become obsessions.）
正當她胡思亂想時，梅勒斯出現了。盡管梅勒斯受過良好的教育，會說標準英語，卻堅持講方言，也許方言才是最純樸最自然的情感流露。深居樹林裏的他遠離現代文明帶來的喧囂，過著返璞歸真的生活，在他的原始激情感召下，康妮最終完成了蛻變，揮劍斬斷非正常婚姻和殘酷的工業文明強加於她的種種桎梏。
