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婆婆貝蒂和她與阿爾茨海默症的抗爭（上）

(2017-07-15 19:22:20) 下一個

前天是我婆婆貝蒂去世十周年，我追憶著10年前和那天的記憶。貝蒂是2007年7月13日星期五於日落時分在一家護理院離去的，享年86歲。她的去世並非出乎意料，比較確切地說是她自己決定的。那麽，10年了，還有什麽觸動我呢？簡單地說，就是一件事：她讓我見證了一個美麗生命最後的旅程及其優美、異常的辭別。我永遠不會忘記她與阿爾茨海默症的抗爭、對家人的愛、以及走向天堂之門的最後路程。

1）日落 - 2007年7月13日星期五

泰迪（我丈夫）、他的姐姐卡羅爾、姐夫吉姆、哥哥羅傑和我，來到卡羅爾住所的俱樂部，共進晚餐。我們剛要點菜，泰迪的手機響了。泰迪和我立即站起來，驅車返回護理院。路上，泰迪沉默無語。他一邊開車、一邊向窗外望去，“看，日落。” 是的，落日剛剛射出最後一束光芒，擁抱和染紅了雲朵。晚上七時左右，星期五，是一個美好的夜晚。

貝蒂的私人護士露絲給我們講述了貝蒂最後的時刻，生動地描繪了她前往天堂之門的最後路程。一時間，貝蒂的呼吸急促起來，上不來氣。但是，很快，她露出了微笑，帶著臉上不同尋常的光澤，輕呼了一聲，“啊！”

露絲感覺自己非常幸運，陪伴著貝蒂到達了天門。我們都感謝她，因為她是陪伴貝蒂最後一程的天使。

2）“我的家人”與“花” - 貝蒂與阿爾茨海默症的抗爭

那是2003年，在我結婚之前，第一次見到貝蒂。泰迪帶我去鳳凰城亞利桑那州的一個24小時記憶保健中心，告訴我貝蒂有阿爾茨海默病。泰迪的父親去世後，她一直住在這樣的保健、養老的設施裏。我們準備了一束花和其它小禮物。那個記憶保健中心是一個安靜和漂亮的地方。貝蒂已經打扮齊正，在一間單臥室的公寓裏等著我們。“媽，這是靈靈，” 泰迪介紹了我。貝蒂很愉快、和藹，回答說：“歡迎來到家裏，” 給了我一個溫暖的擁抱。我向她送上鮮花，她很喜歡。

我們帶著她在保健中心的庭院裏散步，她很開心。泰迪告訴我貝蒂從小就喜歡走路。當護士和她的朋友走過來的時候，貝蒂向他們介紹我倆，說 “他們是我的家人，” 然後悄悄地問我：“你叫什麽名字？” 我再次告訴她，她笑了笑，似乎有點兒尷尬。“我想，我還得從頭學起，” 她說。我對她的勇氣和努力印象極深，很難相信她實際上已經是阿爾茨海默中期的患者了。泰迪說，她的樂觀精神讓她在丈夫去世以後，在很長時間裏能夠獨自生活、照顧自己。

當我們回到她的房間時，她看到了鮮花，讚歎道：“啊，又有人給我送花來了！” 泰迪後來多次對我說，媽媽是個非常隨和、樂觀的人，連她的病都不能破壞她的好心情，還把它變成新的享受。“啊，又有人給我送花來了！” 她反複地說了一遍又一遍，在健忘中再次感受到了快樂。

-- My Mother-in-Law Betty and Her Battle of Alzheimer (Part I) --

Two days ago, it was the 10^th anniversary of Betty, my mother-in-law. I had been thinking of the day in the memory. Betty passed away at sunset, on the Friday of July 13, 2007 at a nursing home in Phoenix Arizona. She was 86 years old. Her passing was not unpredicted and more precisely was determined by herself. What would it still strike me? For one thing: that she let me witness the graceful passing of a beautiful life. I would never forget her battle with Alzheimer, her love for her family, and her final farewell and departure to the Gate of Heaven.

1) The Sunset on Friday, July 13, 2007

Ted, his sister Carol, brother-in-law Jim, brother Roger and I came to the club house of Carol’s residence for a family dinner. Just before we made an order, Ted's cell phone rang. Ted and I immediately stood up. While driving back toward the nursing home, Ted was silent. He seemed to look away through the window, "Ling, look at the sunset." Yes, the twilight had just given its last rays to embrace and redden the clouds. It was a beautiful evening around 7 p.m. on Friday.

Ruth, Betty’s private caregiver, told us of the last moments of Betty, which vividly depicted the last steps of her journey to the Gate of Heaven. She had a few moments of short breaths and labor. But it was followed by a smile on her radiant face, and she gave a final ‘Ah’. Ruth felt very fortunate to accompany Betty to the Gate. And we all thanked her, for she was the angel to accompany Betty for the last steps.

2) ‘My Family’ and Flowers – Her Battle with Alzheimer

It was 2003, before Ted and I got married, when I met Betty for the first time. Ted took me to a 24-hour memory care center in Phoenix Arizona and told me that Betty had Alzheimer. She had been living in such facilities after Ted’s father passed away. We brought flowers and other small gifts. The memory care center was a quiet and pretty facility. We found Betty dressed up and waited for us in a one-bed room dormitory-like apartment. "Mom, this is Lingling," Ted introduced me. She was quite pleasant and replied, "Welcome to the family," and gave me a warm hug. I presented her with the flowers, and she absolutely loved it.

We took her for a short walk in the courtyard of the facility. She truly enjoyed it. Ted told me before that Betty loved walking from childhood. When nurses and her friends walked by, she introduced us to them, "They are my family." She then quietly asked me, "What’s your name?" After I told her again, she smiled and appeared to be a little embarrassed. "I guess I have to learn it again," she said. I was so impressed by her encouragement and brevity. It was hard for me to believe that she was actually already into mid-term of Alzheimer. Her spirit was high and kept her going after Ted’s father passed away.

When we got back to her room, she saw the flowers and acclaimed, "Ah, somebody sent me flowers!" Ted later said it to me many times that Mom was very gracious and optimistic, even her sickness could not destroy her spirit but helped turn it into new enjoyment. "Ah, somebody sent me flowers!" She said this repeatedly, experiencing the joy again in her forgetfulness.