夕陽影裏一歸舟
行而知天下，攝而錄我知，文而記我得，閱書閱人，皆為快事
A boy, a girl. Both young, and in love probably. I said probably, because they were not sure if it was desire below or passion above.
The boy was kicked out of college, and the girl was eventually sent to a mental institute. I know your question is coming – No, they were cast-away not because of grades or manners. As surprisingly and absurd as it sounds – it was because they were too bright. You heard me right, they were too bright to be accepted.
Marcus was a butcher's son, born into a working class Jewish family. Olivia was a doctor’s daughter, born into a middle class Christian family, with parents divorced. I do not know about Olivia, Marcus was a straight A student. He did not care for sports nor fraternity. Three things he held dear: study, work and sleep. Two things he could not put up with: roommates and the dean. To stop questions, I should add adjectives: disrespectful roommates and the suppressing dean. A nicest boy in the world and admired by his hometown locals, Marcus should move down on his path without obstacles. The world was in his dream and in his hands. The problem was his dream was not in his hands. A Midwestern small college in a conservative town crushed him bit by bit. Worse still the place he attempted to escape from were chasing at his tail. That's right, you can't run away from life, it will go after you. Marcus' dream was set in a perfect world, a world only he could draw lines and squares for himself. A battle was thus awaiting, from those wanting to have a big say in his square.
Olivia was a beautiful girl and well raised in terms of money. Witty and quick in feeling others deep, she was opposite of her cold family. Emotionally intense, she was naturally attracted by intense people. If ever she realized driven into a cold corner, her response could go destructively. Cutting her own wrist with a razor was her once answer to the world that could not feel her. She had to leave a college and transfer to another with her father's money.
The two crossed paths.
But the love story didn't interest me much, nor the writer. I was striken by how the two were lost to the world, into an endless nothing.
The father of Marcus lost his mind, he could not stand his son being home late for one minute. So Marcus left home. The father's mind shifted to his butcher shop customers and his wife, fighting everyone away from him like a loud and proud rooster. Over-protective or abusive father isn't a new theme, I can pass that. So would Marcus I guess if his father was his only distress. His Jewish roommates added to the distress, reciting or playing music late into night. One brawl was enough to send Marcus to another dorm. His next roommate was distant and uncompassionated, tolerable for a while until he called the name of Marcus’ girl. Marcus ended up in a room living by himself. So far, it was not the end of the world. But it was going somewhere not pretty.
The dean was more troubled by his changing dorms twice than Marcus himself. The boy was summoned to the high office. I hate to recount the whole story, I will tell you that Marcus presented himself with dignity and talent of a future top case lawyer during the two interviews with the big man. The dean however was not proud, but intimidated by his student’s unusual talent. He took advantage of his superiority to grill and press the boy to surrender. The big man never got his way. Marcus lost his way as well. I cannot comprehend why some readers couldn't recognize the significance in the tragedy – rules that defined the lines and squares weighted over individuals, at the price of killing that individual to maintain the shape. It was not the law I am talking about, intellectual freedom and academic autonomy was the theme. Once lost it you realize its value. In 1950s America could be this dark too.
Olivia's path left Marcus because Marcus mother didn't want her son to have anything to do with a girl of suicide history. Marcus mother met Olivia because his sickness. She came all the way from New Jersey to Ohio. Marcus promised his mother to leave Olivisa because she agreed to drop the idea of divorcing his father, in exchange. Had not Marcus met Olivia, he would never known the sting of divorced parents. He certainly did not want the same sting happen to him. So was the deal between him and his mother. You see how one event triggered another? Life can be incidental, even small choices, however tiny or comical, can achieve lopsided down result.
Marcus was expelled from college, because he refused to attend the mandatory chapel sessions and he refused to say sorry. Practicing or not practicing religion should be individual’s choice, not that of an institute. It is as private as getting under a girl's skirt. Sadly the big man wanted to put fingers on both. The boy under 20 said “Fuck you” to the man over 50. For that, he paid with his life – without college enrollment he was drafted and sent to the Korea War as a soldier. He was killed in the second year.
Anyone went to war came back home dead, one way or the other. Oh well, this does not make Marcus' case sound better, doesn't it?
Olivia attempted the second suicide after the breakup, before Marcus announced any intension of breaking up. She left college for good, living in a mental institute as a permanent citizen.
Two unruly young lives, born ahead of their time, got wiped out, just like that.
Twenty years later, another student riot broke out on campus. No one were punished. Instead, the college abandoned the 100 year tradition of chapel mandate. The fingers wanting to crawl under students' skin cut short.
Advancement as small as this could cost big. Ernest Hemingway said in his "A Farewell to Arms”-- If people bring so much courage to this world the world has to kill them to break them, so of course it kills them. The world breaks every one and afterward many are strong at the broken places. But those that will not break it kills. It kills the very good and the very gentle and the very brave impartially. If you are none of these you can be sure it will kill you too but there will be no special hurry.
March 27, 2017
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Thank you!
Written ten years apart, maybe more of the American influence? We are all shaped by the environment, for better or worst.
Hemingway quote is interesting. We are all going to die someday. I much prefer fighting while exiting.
Love your writing style. Will return to read more of your Chinese pieces.
No story sits by itself. sometimes stories meet at corners and sometimes they cover one another completely, like stones beneath a river.
美國的民主也是一步步爭取來的,四十年代末五十年代初的麥卡錫主義也很可怕。好在總有一些人不顧一切奮起抗爭。想像一下，如果人人偷安，這個國家不知道現在是什麽樣。
Enjoyable reading!