給桂魚哥交翻譯作業

 

我覺得桂魚哥小看原作者了。前XI？我覺得從第三段開始就已經進入實質舉動了。

這詩的特點是有非常多的 internal rhyme，要譯得忠實就受到很大的限製。我盡量把internal rhyme都譯出來、並且保持每個韻的平仄一致。有時候不得不加個把廢詞。也借鑒了許多桂魚哥的翻譯，致謝。

譯出來似乎有點拗口，但是又要押內韻又要忠實原意有點難度。譯得流暢不是問題，但那樣就要做比較大的改動，不再是忠實的翻譯，文字遊戲的意義也就不在了。

合格不合格也就這樣吧。收工！

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"may i feel said he"
by e. e. cummings

may i feel said he
(i'll squeal said she
just once said he)
it's fun said she

(may I touch said he
how much said she
a lot said he)
why not said she

(let's go said he
not too far said she
what's too far said he
where you are said she)

may i stay said he
(which way said she
like this said he
if you kiss said she

may i move said he
it is love said she)
if you're willing said he
(but you're killing said she

but it's life said he
but your wife said she
now said he)
ow said she

(tiptop said he
don't stop said she
oh nn said he)
go slow said she

(cccome?said he
ummm said she
you're divine!said he
(you are Mine said she)

苗譯：

讓我探探  by 某人

讓我探探。他說
(那我就叫喚。她說
就碰一次。他說)
還挺有趣。她說

(能不能摸摸？他說
摸幾多？她說
摸個遍。他說)
隨你便。她說

（做不做？他說
別太深。她說
啥叫深？他說
你有點過。她說）

我呆會兒行嗎？他說
（怎麽個呆法呀？她說
像這個呆法。他說
那你得親下。她說

我想動，你莫怪。他說
這才叫愛！她說）
隻要你歡喜。他說
（我會被你弄死。她說

就該這樣活。他說
可是你老婆……她說
我靠！他說）
嗷……她說

（好爽。他說
別停，再闖。她說
心肝兒……他說）
慢點兒！她說

（來了？他說
嗬嗬。她說）
你真銷魂。他說
（你是我的人！她說）