正文
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down
(終於有一個家夥肯花時間把下麵這些寫下來了）
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ” the rules”
From the female side….
（我們總聽到從女人角度說起的“規矩”）
Now here are the rules from the male side.
（現在有了從男人角度所說的“規矩”）
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 “
ON PURPOSE!
（這些是我們的規矩。請注意。這些規矩故意排列成清一色的一號。）
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
（最重要的規矩：男人不會讀心。）
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
（女人應該學習放下抽水馬桶座位，不要指望男人用完後幫你放下。）
1. Sunday sports or news, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
（星期天的運動節目或新聞很重要，讓男人去看）
1. Crying is blackmail.
（哭泣是一種敲詐。）
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
（需要什麽直接清晰的說出來，不要指望男人懂得你的暗示。）
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
（每個問題都可以用“是”或“不是”來回答。）
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
（需要男人解決問題時再告訴男人你們的煩惱。需要同情時請找你們的女朋友。）
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
（吵架時不要提我們六個月前說的話。我們說的話七天後無效。）
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
（如果你覺得你胖那你很可能胖。不要問我。）
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
（如果我們說的話可以理解成兩種意思，其中一種讓你們難過或生氣，我們指的其實是另外那種意思。）
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
（你可以叫我們去做某事，或者告訴我們你希望某事被做，但別兩種說法同時使用。如果你已經知道該怎麽做才最好，你就自己做。）
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
（如果可能的話，你最好在廣告的時候再講話。）
1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(庫克船長不需要知道方向，我們也不需要。)
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
（所有男人隻能辨識十六種顏色，就象電腦的默認設置。桃色（注：英文的桃子和桃色是同一個單詞），是一種水果，不是一種色彩。南瓜（注：英文的南瓜和南瓜色是同一個單詞））也是一種水果。我們不知道紫紅色是什麽顏色。
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
（如果有了七年之癢，我們當然會去撓。）
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
（如果我們問你有什麽問題，你說沒什麽，我們就當真的沒什麽。我們知道你在撒謊，但我們認為不值得為此大驚小怪。）
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
（如果你問了一個不想知道答案的問題，那就等著聽一個你不想聽到的答案。）
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
（如果我倆不得不去某個地方，你穿什麽都無所謂。。。真的。）
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars.
（不要問我們在想什麽除非你想討論橄欖球或車。）
1. You have enough clothes.
（你有足夠的衣服。）
1. You have too many shoes.
（你有太多的鞋。）
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
（我身材沒問題。圓形也是一種身材。）
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
（謝謝你讀這些。我知道我今晚要在沙發上睡覺。）
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
（但是你知道男人無所謂嗎？就像在野外睡帳篷。）
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
（傳給男人看，讓他們笑笑。）
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
（傳給女人看，讓她們笑得更歡。）
http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/kghy/1074621.html
(終於有一個家夥肯花時間把下麵這些寫下來了）
Finally , the guys’ side of the story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always hear ” the rules”
From the female side….
（我們總聽到從女人角度說起的“規矩”）
Now here are the rules from the male side.
（現在有了從男人角度所說的“規矩”）
These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered “1 “
ON PURPOSE!
（這些是我們的規矩。請注意。這些規矩故意排列成清一色的一號。）
1. Men are NOT mind readers.
(FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)
（最重要的規矩：男人不會讀心。）
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
（女人應該學習放下抽水馬桶座位，不要指望男人用完後幫你放下。）
1. Sunday sports or news, It’s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
（星期天的運動節目或新聞很重要，讓男人去看）
1. Crying is blackmail.
（哭泣是一種敲詐。）
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!
（需要什麽直接清晰的說出來，不要指望男人懂得你的暗示。）
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
（每個問題都可以用“是”或“不是”來回答。）
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That’s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
（需要男人解決問題時再告訴男人你們的煩惱。需要同情時請找你們的女朋友。）
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.
（吵架時不要提我們六個月前說的話。我們說的話七天後無效。）
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably are. Don’t ask us.
（如果你覺得你胖那你很可能胖。不要問我。）
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one
（如果我們說的話可以理解成兩種意思，其中一種讓你們難過或生氣，我們指的其實是另外那種意思。）
1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it , just do it yourself.
（你可以叫我們去做某事，或者告訴我們你希望某事被做，但別兩種說法同時使用。如果你已經知道該怎麽做才最好，你就自己做。）
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..
（如果可能的話，你最好在廣告的時候再講話。）
1. Captain Cook did NOT need directions and neither do we.
(庫克船長不需要知道方向，我們也不需要。)
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
（所有男人隻能辨識十六種顏色，就象電腦的默認設置。桃色（注：英文的桃子和桃色是同一個單詞），是一種水果，不是一種色彩。南瓜（注：英文的南瓜和南瓜色是同一個單詞））也是一種水果。我們不知道紫紅色是什麽顏色。
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
（如果有了七年之癢，我們當然會去撓。）
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say “nothing,” We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle..
（如果我們問你有什麽問題，你說沒什麽，我們就當真的沒什麽。我們知道你在撒謊，但我們認為不值得為此大驚小怪。）
1. If you ask a question you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want to hear.
（如果你問了一個不想知道答案的問題，那就等著聽一個你不想聽到的答案。）
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine… Really .
（如果我倆不得不去某個地方，你穿什麽都無所謂。。。真的。）
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Cars.
（不要問我們在想什麽除非你想討論橄欖球或車。）
1. You have enough clothes.
（你有足夠的衣服。）
1. You have too many shoes.
（你有太多的鞋。）
1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!
（我身材沒問題。圓形也是一種身材。）
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
（謝謝你讀這些。我知道我今晚要在沙發上睡覺。）
But did you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
（但是你知道男人無所謂嗎？就像在野外睡帳篷。）
Pass this to as many men as you can -
to give them a laugh.
（傳給男人看，讓他們笑笑。）
Pass this to as many women as you can -
to give them a bigger laugh.
（傳給女人看，讓她們笑得更歡。）
http://bbs.wenxuecity.com/kghy/1074621.html
評論
目前還沒有任何評論
登錄後才可評論.
