2011年最後一次管教兒子的仗舉起來了,沒打下去
(2012-01-01 23:09:29)
下一個
2011年最後一天,因為除夕晚上有新年PARTY,我一早就告訴六年級的兒子,上午要把所有我布置的作業做完,做完作業再玩。還將他的iPad收藏了,估計他會按規矩做作業。
我在樓下忙碌,沒忘每半個小時就問一句:
“你在做功課嗎?”
回答:“在做奧數!”
第二次問:
“你在幹什麽?”
回答:
“在做中文!”
第三次問:
“功課都做完了嗎?”
回答:“差不多了!
”快到中午,我上樓檢查作業,結果,他一丁點兒功課也沒做,我看見他手裏才借的一本厚厚的小說被看了一大半。
“你好大膽,居然睜著眼睛說瞎話!”
我不禁怒發衝冠。
“當麵撒謊,你知罪否?”
“知道,我撒謊了,你打我吧。”
兒子雖然眼淚汪汪,卻主動趴在床上,單腿點地,撅起屁股,一副好漢做事好漢當的架勢。
正當我找出小藤棍,捋起袖子,準備狠狠修理犬子之際,手機響了,朋友東燕說:
“我們一家12點準時在餐館等你們噢,你們出發了嗎?” 我光顧著生氣了,差點忘掉中午還有飯局的。
藤條舉著,手沒辦法落下去了。考慮到打完孩子,他淚吧吧,如何去赴宴,尤其是請客的東家還有一個漂亮姐姐,兒子從小就喜歡和她玩。
我氣咻咻,惡狠狠地說:
“好,現在不打你,先跟我去吃飯,但這頓棒肯定是不會被推遲到明年打的,你記著!”
兒子垂頭喪氣,誠惶誠恐地點頭。
中午吃飯間,兒子皺著眉頭什麽都不吃,我以為他在鬧情緒,心想,不吃就餓你一頓,讓你還敢跟我撒謊。飯局到一半時,就見他,高興地舉著帶血跡的一小粒牙齒獲獎般地給大家展覽:
“媽媽,這顆今年初就鬆動的牙齒終於在正確的時間,正確的地點掉下來了!我真高興啊,我現在可以吃盤子裏的烤雞了,我忍到現在了,好餓啊。”
哭笑不得,原來兒子磨蹭不吃飯不是因為害怕撒謊挨打,難過得吃不下飯,而是因為正做最後努力,使勁讓牙齒掉下來後可以多吃點。孩子,這就叫孩子,天真爛漫的十一歲兒子。要我如何期待他象大人一樣去犯錯誤後就閉門思過,真是多情應笑我吧。
朋友午宴完畢後,老公和大兒子趕著去教會參加禱告會,我特別提請要他們為小兒子撒謊的毛病禱告,我則帶小兒子回家,一路上鐵青著臉,考慮如何管教他。
一進門,他三步兩步直竄琴房,抄起弓,調開弦就開始賣力地拉琴了,殷勤的琴聲好像在拚命討好我,他這次琴拉得近乎完美,一點沒出錯,還超出平時練琴時間很多。練完琴,沒等我發話,就主動去做中文大考前的綜合練習,也幾乎沒出錯,字寫得格外整齊;接著就做數學,接著就寫英文作文,一下午就忙活沒停過手,讓我根本沒有時間修理他。
到了下午五點鍾,我催他換衣服,不得不趕去另外一個朋友家舉辦的新年PARTY。他還在電腦上忙碌打印文件。當他舉起最後一稿打印文件給我看,居然他是在撰寫“教社區鄰居小孩中文廣告”。他說新年他一定要將早就計劃好的開設中文班事宜落實,每45分鍾課程,5美元授課費。他手頭有五個潛在學生,是1-4年級美國孩子,他明天元旦就要付諸實施。
看到兒子如此賣力將功贖罪,帶罪立功的表現,我的階級立場有點不穩了。當我在新年晚宴上征求朋友意見“打還是不打?”時,兒子居然不知道從哪裏冒出來,在一幹大人麵前說:
“媽媽,該打就打!我們是中國人,打小孩不犯法的,更何況我事撒謊了的,你打吧,我受得了。”
這哪裏還是兒子啊,分明是江姐就義前演說啊。所有大人都笑暈了:
“你還舍得打嗎?”
除夕夜,兒子上床前深情地吻完我的麵頰,又去吻爸爸,邊親吻還邊問:
“為什麽小孩子都喜歡他們的爸爸媽媽?”
道完晚安,就回房睡了。剩下一對大人,俺倆麵麵相覷。我口舌幹燥地問他爹:
“你倒是說說啊,對這樣可氣可愛的孩子,我怎麽教?打還是不打?”
老公不偏不倚地說:“如果你覺得有必要,明年就打吧!”(他說的是明年,不是明天)
我終於在2001年最後一天,舉起了杖,卻沒有打下去。
我不是很會教小孩,奧數, 中文, 藤條都沒怎麽用到,要不然我的孩子會更棒。
愛河魚餌的兩個兒子被教育得很棒,很陽光。是好媽媽。
It is so sad to see this happening. I don't know what to say.
let kids be the kids
1000% agree. Think how many childhood one can get. The most important thing is to let kid to be him/herself, to teach them how to be a noble person and how to enjoy life. Those are most important aspects in educating a child in a noble society as where we are in the western countries. The mentality of those people who believes in 奧數, 中文, 藤條, especially in a new year's eve, simply do not have sense of security in their life so they abuse their children into doing all kinds of things that they don't like.
Think hard why you child lied to you!!! One of the reason was that he simply did not have belief in you?
Never, ever touch your son, that is child abuse, you will end in jail.
Please don't judge poeple if you don't know them.
He is only 11, wait until he is older, you will realize ganster is right.
go to see a conselor, that is all i can say. you don't want to ruin your son's life.
just want to help you, i saw too many chinese kids are just not happy and depressed. do you realize your son is reading a book in the room is kind of telling you something?
I am not good parents as you defined, but only as you defined and that's it. If you believe in 奧數, 中文, 藤條 together as the must in raising a normal child so go for it and I am pretty sure 90% parents in the US don't hold that kind of mentality as you do. In a way, it often tells that you are somewhat incompetent in educating your children in a normal way. And most often it reflects poor achievement by the parents in their career and they want to pin their hope in their offsprings. I have to admit that a lot of Chinese parents, especially those who did not have a good education background (not necessarily you) do tends to raise children this way.
I think you need to seek help or go back to China. You are a mother as sick as can-be!