計算機問題服務笑話

Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?
Female customer: A white one...
技術服務：你的計算機是哪一種？
女顧客：是個白色的。。。

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Tech support: Click on the 'my computer' icon on to the left of the screen.
Customer: Your left or my left?
技術服務：點擊在屏幕左邊的“我的計算機“圖標。
顧客：你的左邊還是我的左邊？

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Tech support: ;Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello... I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and.
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates.
技術服務：今天好。 我可以幫你做什麽？
男顧客：你好。。。不能打印。
技術服務：你可以給我先點擊“開始“然後
顧客：聽著老兄，別給我來這套技術的！我不是比爾蓋茨。
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Customer: Hi, good afternoon, this is Martha, I can't print. Every time I try, it says 'Can't find printer'. I've even lifted the printer and placed it in front of the monitor, but the computer still says he can't find it...
顧客：嗨，下午好，這是瑪薩，我不能打印。　每次我要打印，它就說‘無法找到打印機‘。 我甚至把打印機舉起來放在熒屏麵前， 可是計算機還是說它無法找到。。。

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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.
技術服務：現在你的熒屏上有什麽， 太太？
顧客：有個泰迪熊， 是我男朋友在Woolies給我買的。
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Customer: My keyboard is not working anymore.
Tech support: Are you sure it's plugged into the computer?
Customer: No. I can't get behind the computer.
Tech support: Pick up your keyboard and walk 10 paces back.
Customer:! OK
Te ch support: Did the keyboard come with you?
Customer: Yes
Tech support: That means the keyboard is not plugged in. Is there another keyboard?
Customer: Yes, there's another one here. Ah...that one does work...
顧客：我的鍵盤不能工作
技術服務：你肯定鍵盤插在計算機上了嗎？
顧客：不肯定。我沒辦法繞到計算機後麵。
技術服務：把你得的鍵盤拿起來然後銷後走１０步。
顧客：好的
技術服務：你的鍵盤能跟著你一起走嗎？
顧客：是的
技術服務：那就意味著你的鍵盤沒跟計算機聯在一起。你還有另外一個鍵盤嗎？
顧客：是啊，這兒是還有一個鍵盤。　啊。。。這個鍵盤能用。
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Tech support: Your password is the small letter "a" as in apple, a capital letter V as in Victor, the number 7.
Customer: Is that 7 in capital letters ?
技術服務：你的密碼是一個小寫的a，像是apple, 大寫的字母V，像是Victor， 數字7 。
顧客：那7是大寫還是小寫？

== =============
Customer: can't get on the Internet.
Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?
Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.
Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?
Customer: Five stars.
顧客：沒辦法上網
技術服務：你肯定你用的密碼對嗎？
顧客：肯定啊。我看見我的同事用來著。
技術服務：你能告訴我你的密碼嗎？
顧客：五個星
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Customer: I have a huge problem. A friend has placed a screen saver on my computer, but every time I move the mouse, it disappears.
顧客：我有個大問題。我一個朋友給我加了個screen saver (don't knwo the translation), 可是每次我一動鼠標器，screen saver 就沒了。
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Tech support: How may I help you?
Customer: I'm writing my first e-mail.
Tech support: OK, and what seems to be the problem?
Customer: Well, I have the letter 'a' in the address, but how do I get the circle around it?
技術服務：我能幫你什麽？
顧客：我再寫我的第一個ｅｍａｉｌ
技術服務：好。你有什麽問題？
顧客：嗯， 我有字母'a' ， 可是我怎麽能把圈兒加上去？
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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."
一個女顧客給加能服務台打電話， 她的打印機有問題。
技術服務：你是在windows係統下運行嗎？
顧客：不是， 我的辦公桌挨著門，不過你說到點子上了。我邊上的辦公格的人士是在窗子下的，他的打印機就好好的。
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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P " to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Colin.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT

然後最後但不是最終。。。

技術服務：好吧考林，你同時壓‘控製‘和‘逃跑‘健， 這樣可以在屏幕中間帶出個任務表。現在打字母"P "來帶出 the Program Manager。
顧客：我沒有P。
技術服務：在你的鍵盤上， 考林
顧客：你這是什麽意思？
技術服務："P".....在你的鍵盤上， 考林
顧客：我就是不做！

[tenyu]

中文能翻譯一下嗎？謝謝！