PURE VERB (圖)

PURE VERB If you ever tasted one you would know what I’m talking about-- Oysters, that speed up your heart and make your blush pinker in the eyes of your lover She watches you eat first of course, as if she never knew you the way you scoop up starlight with your tongue No forks, nor knives The cold steel belongs to the civilized horde Your thick hands never so gingerly holding the juiced shells with fine lines of ocean’s touching Your mouth an estuary for the pearl that hides deep, alive in the ocean’s telling You have traveled so far to this salty coast together white sand and wet limestone for a moment of peace by the indulging sea to bath in perfect memory & seaward wind Don’t ask why I’m drunk from your song I’ve never found such beautiful sound in my native tongue like poetry, unapologetically cunning & finely tuned A pure verb! :3/15/05

[影雲]

for fun;) welcome.;)

[LTG]

interesting pic!

like your raw vision!!!

thanks!

keeping it...:)

[影雲]

[影雲]

i don't have that Hao in my NJ star :(

thanks;)

[LTG]

你用舌舀著星光

en, that's very close to the meaning :)

this word,濠, is not right...

like this version very much!

[影雲]

你用舌舀著星光

[影雲]

純動詞

如果你品嚐過
就知道我的所言 - - -
生濠，讓你在情人眼裏
心跳臉紅

當然，她看著你先吃
驚訝於
你用舌蘸著星光
而不用刀叉
那些冰冷的鋼鐵屬於
被文明征服的懦夫

你粗糙厚實的手
從未如此小心翼翼
握住汁溢，海水輕撫
細致留痕的殼
你的嘴
那深藏而存活
於海傳言中的珍珠的
出海口

你們一同跋涉那樣遠
來到鹹苦的海岸
白沙，濕岩
隻為放縱的海旁
片刻的寧靜
沐浴在完美的
記憶與海風裏

不要問我為什麽
酣醉於你的歌聲
我從未發現
母語裏有如此美妙的聲音
如同詩，毫無暇疵的
甜美與精心的調音
純動詞！

[LTG]

good job! y.y.

the rhythm in your translation is really nice!

this line might have another way of phrasing:

你用舌蘸著星光的吃法

[影雲]

純動詞

如果你品嚐過
就知道我的所言 - - -
生濠，讓你在情人眼裏
心跳加速，臉頰更為粉醉
的生濠

當然，她看你先吃
你用舌蘸著星光的吃法
讓她如此陌生
不用刀叉
冰冷的鋼屬於
文明熏陶過懦夫

你粗糙厚實的手
從未如此小心翼翼
握住汁溢，海輕撫過
細致留痕的殼
你的嘴
那深藏存活於
海傳言的珍珠的
出海口

你們一同跋涉那樣遠
來到鹹苦的海岸
白沙，濕岩
隻為放縱的海旁
片刻的寧靜
沐浴在完美的
記憶與海風裏

不要問我為什麽
酣醉於你的歌聲
我從未發現
母語裏如此美妙的聲音
如同詩，無以倫比的
甜美與精心的調試
純動詞！

[LTG]

looking forward to your translation :)

thanks!!

[影雲]

原汁原味，最好！！！
真棒，正在翻譯：)

[LTG]

trying to capture the "real taste" :)

writing is a kind of eating :)

i forgot to add "sauce" :(

[影雲]

beautiful
and
alluring :)