木頁的木，開心的心，謎一樣的人
To you M stands for “木,” to me it stands for “Mystery,” or, perhaps more appropriately, for “Miracle.” Unlike the Exodus generations whom were showered with miracles, the post Christ generations were declared to have lost the privilege of witnessing any more acts of God. Indeed, few of us have ever had supernatural experiences. However, if one looks hard enough, there are always these minuscule miracles among us at any given moment. And no matter how insignificant they may seem at first, I thank God for allowing me to see them. They are what make us feel alive and breathing. They are the very testimony of God’s existence. And befriending you has been one such infinitesimal miracle, and a very timely one for me at a time of hardship.
Before we officially met, I had seen traces of you on other people’s message boards. I remember you by that distinctive ID picture. I remember casually browsing through your profile and not having found much to see, aside from what appeared at first look to be just some run of the mill pictures of naked women.
So there I was, a passerby, who took a hasty glance at a stranger, then hurried on down the path along which I traveled. But then the stranger extended his hand. “Hello,” he smiled. I came to a stop, looked up and into his eyes, and saw kindness. Without hesitation I took the hand, strong, warm handshake, to my surprise.
He told me that he liked my article for “M,” and wondered whether I’d write him one someday. I whispered to myself, “I’d be delighted to …”
…
I am an instant gratification kind of gal. Immediately, I proceeded with this new found task. It was a little daunting at first. Your profile, your self introduction, and your articles did not piece together nicely the way Maple’s did for me. Yours is a territory so foreign, that I’d never have ventured into it on my own initiative. What kept me motivated was the privilege I felt to be allowed to enter in the first place, to roam about freely, and the amazing candidness you greeted me with.
Then something marvelous transpired. With each new discovery, I found more similarities than what I had pre-maturely dismissed as differences.
› š › š
Your writing is the reflection of a true perfectionist. Like me, you strive to be the best in everything that you are passionate about. But unlike me, you actually come close to it – so close that it becomes intimidating.
Perfection is also the word that comes to mind looking at your ID picture. In it, beauty is depicted with such chilling precision that it is almost disturbing. I believed that the man behind the ID must be harsh and lonely, till I read your essays.
You treasure all your “firsts,” your first graduate school in the
You are proud, but never harsh. I’ve read some of your correspondences with other bloggers on their message boards. You give everyone the same, uncompromised attention when they come to you, and you treat each of them with the courtesy, honesty and benevolence you think they deserve.
You are unpretentious. 你向往野兔子般的原始的愛和自由. 喜歡你的目空一切，喜歡你坐看雲起的瀟灑。
但看得出你也很易傷感，和我一樣。你困倦之餘寫的詩，遮掩不出你的nostalgia. “年年歲歲花相似，歲歲年年人不同。”你總是四處遊走，但你還是蠻懷舊的，很想找到永久的可以滯留的地方。
I was delighted to find someone who likes old school rappers like Tupac and Notorious B.I.G. Not a huge fan of Eminem though, partially because to me there is more “kick” in black English that gives it that unique rhythmic flow. More importantly, their works had so much life and soul in them compared to the younger generation rappers, who merely do what they do in order to be part of the "game." That song, “California Love,” that you recommended to somebody, happens to be the very first song I put on my profile. Don’t you just love Tupac and Dr. Dre?
Having said all of that, still can’t say that I understand you, or even know you as a person. To me you remain a puzzle yet to be solved, but I get this feeling that it may not even require a solution. What fascinates me is the fact that there can be so much in common between you and me, and I never would have realized this had you not extended the first sign of friendship. As you can see, it wouldn’t be an exaggeration to call it a miracle worth celebrating =)
但你似乎對男女間的platonic friendship很不以為然。“藍顏知己”這個東西，應該是我離開中國以後的新名詞。我不同意你的觀點，that it is not the counterpart of “紅顏知己。” 我希望我們的有效期可以貫穿晴天雨季，不管是“深藍還是淺褐。”
你寫東西隻給你想要的人看，從不在乎有沒有觀眾。所以這篇是給你的， for you and you alone. How to be a stranger in heaven? Heaven finds us here when the stranger says “hello.” Thank you for reaching out to me.
ps: 也許我真的該繼續go for my master degree. 哎， 自己的writing真的是慚愧！
祝妹妹旅途愉快！有時候，真很遺憾，不是生活在一個城市，否則可以和妹妹經常見麵，談天說地。。。不亦快哉，嗬嗬：）
thanks DP. it's precious what you just wrote. and i sure hope i can live up to your ... blog. :)
but that surely doesn't matter, whether or not i live up to it. by writing this you've found the way home, even if it's just a room for one night in the forest of the little red riding hood.
i think that's what we see in this, the image of you, that girl many years ago in her little light yellow skirt, whom i bet also had a very good appetite. that's who you are, being genuine and being ME--i think that's the ultimate meaning of "M", do you agree?
cheers, and have a nice trip!
M.
看了你寫的,讓我想起一件事.十幾年前還在上大學時,有一次去上海玩,從那裏再坐火車回家.那次很不走運,坐硬座而且人巨多天巨熱,(到現在那時的所有經曆仍然曆曆在目,看來苦一點留下的記憶多一點:)).在江西某地,上來一個穿淡黃色連衣裙的女孩,正好坐在我對麵.在那個周圍上下左右都擠滿髒兮兮且表情痛苦萬狀的乘客/民工/學生/走江湖者的車廂裏,這個女孩如仙人一樣一塵不染安然自若麵帶微笑一言不發.這樣一個單純潔淨的形象在平時都極為少見,別說在這沙丁魚罐頭的車廂裏.她三個小時之後下車.但那幅情景,卻在我的記憶裏永存,如同生活給我的一句禪語一般.
This is so beautifully written, so scintillating...I am deeply moved...
Freudian or Plutonic, they are both ways of expression of love, and God will give you the wisdom to distinguish them and act on them...