字母中淘篩曆史的細節
西人資料中搜尋關於中國的點滴
10月27日匹茲堡猶太教堂槍擊案，11死，多傷。嫌犯羅伯特.包爾斯（Robert Bowers)受傷被捕。這幾天，救護他的男護士阿裏.馬勒的臉書貼大火，下麵是我自己的粗淺翻譯，並附原文
我就是那個猶太護士。
沒錯，猶太護士。就是大家談論的留下11具屍體的匹茲堡槍擊案中的那個護士。那個急救室裏救護羅伯特.包爾斯（Robert Bowers）的創傷護士，就在被推進醫院的時候他還吼叫著，“所有猶太人都去死吧！”那個衝進屋裏去救他一命的猶太護士。
坦率地說，我對分享這件事有點緊張。我很清楚我現在感到孤獨，同時有諷刺意味的是，整個世界都在談論我，如果沒有機會為我自己說話，這似乎不太公平。
我還是個孩子的時候，被標上“猶太人”無疑是有歧視的含義。這也是為什麽現在當人們突然把這個名字當成了愛稱的時候，我覺得難以適應。成人後，用一句“我不太信教”來隱藏我的宗教，好讓別人接受我是猶太人的事實--尤其當我告訴他們我爸是個拉比（Rabbi）。說“我不太信教”就象是說：“沒事，我沒有那麽猶太化，因此，我跟你沒什麽區別，”這招很好使，人們對我立刻就不象幾秒鍾前那樣不自在了。
我小時候親身經曆了很多反猶太主義。我不知道這是不是都是發自內心的仇恨，還是僅僅是那些自己有問題的孩子們以此為借口對我發泄，我們學校當然還有幾個其他猶太孩子，但是他們父親都不是拉比。我在桌子上看到我們家被趕進毒氣室的圖畫，我的儲物箱（Locker）被畫上納粹卍字，裏麵被塞進紙條，上麵寫著：“猶太人，死；愛希特勒。”那個時代情況不一樣，對霸淩還沒有象現在管的那麽嚴。我也比較軟弱，不敢告訴任何人，獨自躲在恐懼中。指認做這些事的人隻會招來更糟的後果。
先不說這些。我對發生這起槍擊案一點都不感到震驚，說實在的，再發生同樣的案件，隻是個時間問題。曆史對事情會變化不抱希望。我心渴望變化，但是今天的環境並不利於培育、寬容或文明禮儀。即使在這次槍擊案之前，也沒有真正的證據顯示事實不是如此。聯邦調查局和南方貧困法律中心注意到，猶太人隻占美國人口的2%，但是所有宗教仇恨犯罪中的60%是針對猶太人的。我不知道為什麽人們那麽恨我們，但是反猶太主義這股暗流似乎相當洶湧。
這就是我，救護了羅伯特包爾斯的那個猶太護士。我在CNN，福克斯新聞，PBS和地方新聞台等等節目中看他們談論我，我讀了紐約時報和華盛頓郵報上寫我的文章。我做了我的本職工作，這個工作中，憐憫之心和推己及人之心高於一切，這件事對於民眾來說有新聞價值，因為我是猶太人，更何況我父親是名拉比。
說句實話，當我看著包爾斯的眼睛的時候，我沒有看到邪惡，我看到是其它的東西。由於健康信息方麵的法律限製，我不能把我們之間的交流說得太具體。我可以告訴你們的是，作為他的護士，或者任何人的護士，我是通過善心來照顧病人，我的行為以同情心為準繩，而不管你不受我的護理時是個什麽樣的人。隻要你躺在我的擔架上，你的每一口呼吸都將比上一次更美麗。就算羅伯特包爾斯剛犯下多重殺戮，這一點也是同樣的。就在他到達醫院一個小時之前，他在我心中播下的恐懼使我害怕我的父母是被他殺害的11人中的兩名。
我可以肯定他不知道我是猶太人。為什麽要感謝一名猶太護士?15分鍾前你會毫不猶豫照著我腦袋開槍。我對他一個字也沒提我的宗教。整個過程我什麽話也沒對他說。我希望他能感到慈悲，我想向他展示同情之心。我覺得紀念他的受害人的最好方法是由一名猶太人來證明他錯了。另外，假如他發現我是猶太人，又會怎麽樣呢？更好的問題是，這對你們意味著什麽呢？
愛心，這是為什麽我要這麽作。行動中的愛心比話語更有力，而麵對邪惡的愛心讓其他人看到希望。她展現了人性，她再次明確了我們生存於此的意義。生命的意義是把意義賦於生命，而愛心是連係所有眾生的終極力量。我不關心羅伯特包爾斯怎麽想，但是對於你，正在閱讀這些文字的人，愛心是我想傳遞的唯一信息。如果我的行為有什麽意義的話，那就是：愛心才是全部意義之所在。
尊敬你的
阿裏.馬勒（Ari Malher)，注冊護士
I am The Jewish Nurse.
Yes, that Jewish Nurse. The same one that people are talking about in the Pittsburgh shooting that left 11 dead. The trauma nurse in the ER that cared for Robert Bowers who yelled, "Death to all Jews," as he was wheeled into the hospital. The Jewish nurse who ran into a room to save his life.
To be honest, I’m nervous about sharing this. I just know I feel alone right now, and the irony of the world talking about me doesn’t seem fair without the chance to speak for myself.
When I was a kid, being labeled “The Jewish (anything)”, undoubtedly had derogatory connotations attached to it. That's why it feels so awkward to me that people suddenly look at it as an endearing term. As an adult, deflecting my religion by saying “I’m not that religious,” makes it easier for people to accept I’m Jewish – especially when I tell them my father is a rabbi. “I’m not that religious,” is like saying, “Don’t worry, I’m not that Jewish, therefore, I’m not so different than you,” and like clockwork, people don’t look at me as awkwardly as they did a few seconds beforehand.
I experienced anti-Semitism a lot as a kid. It’s hard for me to say if it was always a product of genuine hatred, or if kids with their own problems found a reason to single me out from others. Sure, there were a few Jewish kids at my school, but no one else had a father who was a Rabbi. I found drawings on desks of my family being marched into gas chambers, swastikas drawn on my locker, and notes shoved inside of it saying, “Die Jew. Love, Hitler.” It was a different time back then, where bullying was not monitored like it is now. I was weak, too. Rather than tell anyone, I hid behind fear. Telling on the people who did this would only lead to consequences far worse.
Regardless, the fact that this shooting took place doesn’t shock me. To be honest, it’s only a matter of time before the next one happens. History refutes hope that things will change. My heart yearns for change, but today's climate doesn't foster nurturing, tolerance, or civility. Even before this shooting took place, there’s no real evidence supporting otherwise. The FBI and the Southern Poverty Law Center note that Jews only account for two percent of the U.S. population, yet 60% of all religious hate crimes are committed against them. I don’t know why people hate us so much, but the underbelly of anti-Semitism seems to be thriving.
So now, here I am, The Jewish Nurse that cared for Robert Bowers. I’ve watched them talk about me on CNN, Fox News, Anderson Cooper, PBS, and the local news stations. I’ve read articles mentioning me in the NY Times and the Washington Post. The fact that I did my job, a job which requires compassion and empathy over everything, is newsworthy to people because I’m Jewish. Even more so because my dad’s a Rabbi.
To be honest, I didn't see evil when I looked into Robert Bower's eyes. I saw something else. I can’t go into details of our interactions because of HIPAA. I can tell you that as his nurse, or anyone's nurse, my care is given through kindness, my actions are measured with empathy, and regardless of the person you may be when you're not in my care, each breath you take is more beautiful than the last when you're lying on my stretcher. This was the same Robert Bowers that just committed mass homicide. The Robert Bowers who instilled panic in my heart worrying my parents were two of his 11 victims less than an hour before his arrival.
I’m sure he had no idea I was Jewish. Why thank a Jewish nurse, when 15 minutes beforehand, you’d shoot me in the head with no remorse? I didn’t say a word to him about my religion. I chose not to say anything to him the entire time. I wanted him to feel compassion. I chose to show him empathy. I felt that the best way to honor his victims was for a Jew to prove him wrong. Besides, if he finds out I’m Jewish, does it really matter? The better question is, what does it mean to you?
Love. That’s why I did it. Love as an action is more powerful than words, and love in the face of evil gives others hope. It demonstrates humanity. It reaffirms why we’re all here. The meaning of life is to give meaning to life, and love is the ultimate force that connects all living beings. I could care less what Robert Bowers thinks, but you, the person reading this, love is the only message I wish instill in you. If my actions mean anything, love means everything.
Respectfully,
Ari Mahler, RN.
祝聖誕節快樂！新年快樂！