字母中淘篩曆史的細節
西人資料中搜尋關於中國的點滴
論 解 嘲
·林語堂·
人生有時頗感寂寞，或遇到危難之境。人之心靈，卻能發出妙用，一笑置之，於是又輕鬆下來。這是好的，也可以看出人之度量。古代名人，常有這樣的度量，所以成其偉大。希臘大哲人蘇格拉底，娶了姍蒂柏（Xantippe）,她是有名的悍婦，常作河東獅吼。傳說蘇氏未娶之前，已經聞悍婦之名，然而蘇氏還是娶她。他有解嘲方法，說娶老婆有如禦馬，禦馴馬沒有什麽可學，娶個悍婦，於修心養性的功夫大有補助。有一天家裏吵鬧不休，蘇氏忍無可忍，隻好出門。正到門口，他太太由屋頂倒一盆水下來，正正淋在他的頭上。蘇氏說。“我早曉得，雷霆之後必有甘霖。”真虧得這位哲學家雍容自若的態度。
林肯的老婆也是有名的，很潑辣，喜歡破口罵人。有一天一個送報的小孩子，十二三歲不知道送報太遲，或有什麽過失，遭到林肯太太百般惡罵，詈不絕口。小孩去向報館老板哭訴，說她不該罵人過甚，以後他不肯到那家送報了。這是一個小城，於是老板向林肯提起這件小事。林肯說：“算了吧！我能忍她十多年，這小孩子偶然挨罵一兩頓，算麽？”這是林肯的解嘲。
中國有句老話，叫做“塞翁失馬，焉知非福”。林肯以後成為總統，據他小城的律師同事赫恩頓（Herdon）寫的傳記，說是應歸功於這位太太。赫恩頓書中說，林肯怪可憐的，每星期六半夜，大家由酒吧要回家時，獨林肯一人不大願意回家。所以林肯那副出人頭地，簡練機警，應對如流的口才，全是在酒吧中學來的。又蘇格拉底也是家裏不得安靜看書，因此成一習慣，天天到市場去，站在街上談空說理。因此乃開始“遊行派的哲學家”（Peripatetic School）的風氣。他們講學，不在書院，就在街頭逢人問難駁詰。這一派哲學家的養成，也應歸功於蘇婆。
關於這類的故事很多，尤其關於幾個名人臨終時的雅謔。這種修煉功夫，常人學不來的。蘇格拉底之死，由柏拉圖寫來是最動人的故事。市政府說他巧辯惑眾，貽誤青年子弟，賜他服毒自盡。那夜他慷慨服毒，門人忍痛陪著，蘇氏卻從容闡發真理。最後他的名言是：“想起來，我欠某人一支雄雞未還。”叫他門人送去，不可忘記。這是他斷氣以前最後的一句話。金聖歎判死刑，獄中發出的信，也是這一派。“花生米與豆腐幹同嚼，大有火腿滋味。”（大約如此。）曆史上從容就義的人很多，不必列舉。
西班牙有一傳說，一個守禮甚謹的伯爵將死，一位朋友去看他。伯爵已經氣喘不過來，但是那位訪客還是刺刺不休長談下去。伯爵隻好忍著靜聽，到了最後關頭，伯爵不耐煩對來客說：“對不起，求先生原諒，讓我此刻斷氣。”他藏身朝壁，就此善終。
我嚐讀耶穌最後一夜對他門徒的長談，覺得這段動人的議論，尤勝過蘇氏臨終之言，而耶穌在十字架上臨死之言：“上帝啊，寬恕他們，因為他們所為，出於不知。”這是耶穌的偉大，出於人情所不能及。這與他一貫的作風相同：“施之者比受之者有福。”可惜我們常人能知不能行，常做不到。
In life, one feels lonely sometimes, or will be in a risky and dangerous situation. But one’s good spirit can make it better by laughing it off and one can get lighthearted again, thus all is well. This reflects one’s tolerance too. Historical figures often had such tolerance. Take Greek philosopher Socrates, he married Xantippe, a known shrew who liked to hen-peck. It is said that having known what she’s like, Socrates married her nevertheless. His way of self-deprecating was to say that taming a wife is like taming a horse. You could learn nothing from horse taming, whereas you could hone your temperament by marrying a shrew. One day however, the quarreling in the house was way too much even for Socrates, he sought refuge by walking out. On the threshold of the door, his wife poured a bucket of water and it all landed right on top of his head. Socrates said: “ I saw this coming. Where there are thunders, the downpour can’t be too far behind.” How insouciant his philosophical attitude was.
Lincoln’s wife was also known for her aggressiveness and tendency for swearing. One day, a newspaper boy of about 12 or13, was late or something. This got Mrs.Lincoln all worked up and her bad mouthing kept going on and on. The kid cried to his boss and said her reaction went overboard. He’d never go delivering paper for her. It was a small town. The boss mentioned this matter to Lincoln. Lincoln replied: “ Forget it! I have put up with her for more than ten years now. The kid suffered only one scolding, what’s the big deal?” This is Lincoln’s way of self-deprecating.
One Chinese saying goes, “whether Papa Sai’s losing horseturns out to be a blessing in disguise, you never know”. Lincoln later went on to become the President. In his biography by Herdon, the author claims that certain credit should go to his wife. In the book, Herdon says Lincoln was quite pathetic. Each Saturday night, everyone left the bar for home in the small hours. Only Lincoln stayed behind, reluctant to go home. He actually developed his oratory style--concise and quick-witted, always having a retort ready-- in the bar. Similarly, Socrates couldn’t read peacefully at home and habitually went to the market place to philosophize, thus the beginning of Peripatetic School. They held seminars not in a school but right on the street where the hoi polloi and philosophy students could challenge each other. The emergence of this sect of philosophers had Mrs.Socrates to thank for.
Stories of this kind abound, among which some famous people’s deathbed jokes stand out. Their gravitas is not for the common sort. The death of Socrates is most moving， written by Plato. Civic authority said he instigated youth by glib rhetoric and ordered him to commit suicide by taking poison. That night, he courageously took the poison. His students were all by his side, sorrow in their heart. Socrates talked about the truth as if nothing happened. His last famous line is: “ it just occurred to me. I still owed a rooster to such and such a person.” And made his students promise to repay one.This was his last word before he drew his last breath. Jin Shentan, a greatChinese Ming scholar, his last letter from jail after he had been sentenced to death followed the same vein.“chewing peanuts with dried Tofu tastes very much like bacon”. (not verbatim) Quite a few historical figures have died a graceful death like this. Just to name a few above.
A Spanish story says a Strait-laced earl is dying. A friend of his comes to visit. The earl is barely able to breathe but the visitor just keeps talking and talking. The earl can do nothing but listen quietly. In the end, the earl loses his patience and cuts the visitor off, “Pardon me! The Senor will forgive me and be so kind as to allow me to die presently.” He turns his face to the wall and dies immediately.
I have read about the long talk Jesus had with his disciples in his last night.My feeling is that this vivid remark is even more moving than Socrates’s swansong. And the last words before death on the cross Jesus uttered—“My lord,please forgive them for they don’t know what they have done”.—reflect the fact that Jesus’ magnanimity is a rarity among mundane humans. This is consistent with his true teaching: “He who gives shall be more blessed than he who receives.” It is a pity we humans know but wouldn’t act as such. Even if we do,we tend to fulfill little.
(英譯首發於文學城.此處有修改.同時參考了FYS的翻譯,在此聲明致謝)
