早晨6點半, 我爬起來, 終於被迫變成morning person. D在網上, 我們聊天. 這個夏天他有business trip去上海, 2周, 要開會, 看工廠, 但是不知道能不能有時間來東京看我. 我很失望, 上海到東京, 不過3個小時的飛機, 哪怕一個周末, 為什麽不能來???!!! 不管D說多少遍"miss you", 隻有行動才能證明一切, if he really misses me, why cant make the trip to Tokyo? I was so frustrated, it seems only me, making efforts, and that is not what I want. "How this long distance thing could work out? I even couldnt make a normal relationship work, how dumb I thought that I was able to do this kinda high level thing..." 我對D說, 也是對我自己說. 沒有結論, 我們不歡而散, 他去睡覺, 我得準備去辦公室, 外麵在下雨.
我對著鏡子化妝, 隨手放音樂, 是王菲的歌, --"撲火". " 每一天都有夢在心裏頭死掉, 我自己對自己大聲咆哮, 人太忠於感覺就難好好思考, 我痛的想哭卻傻傻的笑..." 啪噠, 一滴眼淚掉下來, 我趕忙拿紙巾小心擦去, 怕弄花了妝. 如果弄花了, 要擦掉, 重新化妝, 這樣可能就會遲到, 然後老板又會嘮叨... 越是想, 越想哭, 最後, 眼淚象夏天的雷雨, 劈劈啪啪的打在紙巾上. 手忙腳亂的把自己收拾妥當, 站在鏡子前, 看鏡子裏的自己, everything looks fine, but am I really fine? I dont know...
I closed the door, and set myself free.
