"he will quick claim deed to me. but I have to pay title insurance, escrow fee, city and county transfer tax, county record fee.... total $3500."
City and county transfer tax and county record fee has to be paid. Even if you do the process yourself. Because the transfer occurs between two entities.
title insurance, you can waive owner's title insurance, but if you have a mortgage, you have to pay lender's title insurance .
Escrow fee is what title company makes.