很高興大家都喜歡。這個英譯版感染力太強了。譯者有很好的語言文化修養。下麵是兩個譯文版本的對照：

讓我掉下眼淚的不止昨夜的酒

讓我依依不舍的不止你的溫柔

餘路還要走多久你攥著我的手

讓我感到為難的是掙紮的自由

 

網上比較生硬的直譯：

It was not only the beer last night that made me wanna stay.
It was more than your tenderness that I can’t give it away.
How long do I still need to go? Nevertheless, you were holding my hands.
After all, the thing that troubles me the most, is the struggle for freedom

 

It was more than the wine last night that made me wanna stay

It was more than your gentle breath but I can't give it away

How long I will hold your hand and walk you down into the rain

Then I was confused by the freedom in my vein

前兩句兩個“more than”，對應了漢語原文的排比。

後兩句的“rain”和“vein”不僅是為了押韻，更是一種再創作。譯者顯然知道杜甫那些讚美成都夜雨的詩句。“walk you down into the rain”和“freedom in my vein”，一涼一熱，句子平實無華，卻自然靈動地唱出了雨夜愛情的美。

 

分別總是在九月

回憶是思念的愁

深秋嫩綠的垂柳

親吻著我額頭

在那座陰雨的小城裏

我從未忘記你

成都 帶不走的 隻有你

 

網上比較生硬的直譯：

September is always a month of separation. Memory is always love’s plight.
A kiss from the willow twig in late autumn, The green turns into gray.
How can I forget the rainy town in which we used to date? How can I ever forget you?
The only thing that I can’t take away from Chengdu is you, my darling.

 

Some day we will celebrate goodbyes

in memories

A kiss from the willow twig

the green turns into gray

How can I forget the town in which we used to meet

You are the one I won't forget

 

和我在成都的街頭走一走

直到所有的燈都熄滅了也不停留

你會挽著我的衣袖

我會把手揣進褲兜

走到玉林路的盡頭

坐在小酒館的門口

 

網上比較生硬的直譯：

Let’s wander down the streets of Chengdu, just you and me
We’ll walk on ‘till all the lights go out and still keep walking it through.
Just hold me by the sleeves, and I’ll put my hands in my pocket.
And then we ‘ll just sit in front of a little pub down by the end of YuLin road.

 

So come and have a walk with me on streets of Chengdu

We’ll walk on till the lights are out and walk it through

I will hold you close every step we’ll make it slow

And then we will take a break

in a little pub down by that road

對照上麵兩個英譯版本，不用說了，詩歌是不能直譯的。

不知這城裏有沒有高人，或香蕉後代，能譯得更美。

所有跟帖： 

• 這個不能算翻譯了，意像都改了，更接近為了適應英語而改寫。如果忠於原文，試譯一節： -中間小謝- ♂ (2246 bytes) () 03/14/2023 postreply 00:06:13

• 你忠於原文的翻譯不錯。不過我還是認為，翻譯詩歌不一定在字麵上要拘泥於原文。你看我稍加改動的如何。 -十具- ♂ (2372 bytes) () 03/15/2023 postreply 11:51:58