“…when Fang started to "think", he fell for the same trap - oversimplifying things. Therefore he was still not truly inspired by what he had just witnessed.”
Here, you didn‘t explain the reason why a person can’t be truly inspired by something without knowing its whole history, which seems to me not true at all.
Also, there is no problem to write in English, but, please write in genuine English.
For example:
You can be converted to Islam, or Christianity, however, you can’t be converted to western culture, since, you can be a Christian, there is no way you can be western culture.
You can only accept or learn from western culture.
There is also a typo in your text, it should have been: “the Greeks had learnt from the Egyptians”, not “the Greeks had to learnt from the Egyptians”
