The original poem takes us to follow the poet’s steps, and eyesight to witness the beauty of the nature. The whole poem doesn’t mention the author, but he is in every sentence: He climbs, sees, stops, and admires the scene. But in Lila’s translation, we lost the observer (except in the last sentence), and only see the pictures...
In my humble opinion, seeing life from another person’s eyes stirs up more empathy (from the audience). Therefore, I would like to keep the subject in each sentence.
My 2 cents.
Wow, Lilac became classic now
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Classmate Carpi, being classical is not only your patent. I can
-lilac09-
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06/14/2010 postreply
12:23:50
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Definitely more empathy and admiration! No sympathy:)
-carpediem-
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06/14/2010 postreply
13:07:01
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P.S. Wonderful interpretation! Bravo!
-carpediem-
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06/14/2010 postreply
14:14:38