The proverb suggests that it's better to have others desire what you have than to have them feel sorry for you. While both envy and pity can stem from a comparison with another person's life, the former can be seen as more motivating and positive than the latter.
Envy can be seen as a competitive emotion, where one person desires what another possesses. It can be driven by admiration for someone's talent, success, or possessions.
Pity, on the other hand, is a feeling of sadness or sympathy for someone's suffering or misfortune. It suggests that the person is in a less desirable situation than others.
If a person really is suffering, it is embarrassing for many that others know and acknowledge it. Some people react to this embarrassment with anger. If a person isn't really suffering, but someone pities them for something they are accustomed to, happy with or even enjoy, they will see pity as condescension. This is usually what happens when social or politically advantaged people feel sorry for or socially support segments of the population that are not suffering, but are being made to feel inferior by someone who believes they are superior. People who are suffering know when someone is offering their pity because they want other people of their social standing to see how good they are.
Rather than offer pity, real help comes in the form of communion - recognizing our common pain, being present, respecting their space, offering charity, helping other believe they are better than they see themselves right now. Pity is low effort compassion. Many people don't like it.
