Meaning:
Prim and proper, with a cool demeanour
Background:
The allusion in this expression is to people who maintain such a cool
demeanor that they don't even have the warmth to melt butter.
The phrase is usually used in a derogatory and critical sense and, in the
past at least, was most often applied to women. Occasionally, it was used to
denote a quiet meekness and sweetness of temper rather than emotional
coldness; for example, this description of Mr Pecksniff in Charles Dickens'
Martin Chuzzlewit:
"It would be no description of Mr Pecksniff's gentleness of manner to adopt
the common parlance, and say that he looked at this moment as if butter
wouldn't melt in his mouth. He rather looked as if any quantity of butter
might have been made out of him, by churning the milk of human kindness, as
it spouted upwards from his heart."
- www.phrases.org.uk [edited]
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When Dickens played with a phrase like in the above example, he felt more like a
comedian than a novelist.
I think www.phrases.org.uk made a mistake in the second Background paragraph.
Anyone else think so?
