不同處
原來的文字：
I have read aloud for several nights but havn't seen see any improvement. Is it because I am so stupid that I can't do anything with it? At night, I toss and turn in bed, can't sleep well, because I think about how to make an effort to help myself keep on and do a better job. I finally found that it will take a long period of time to make correction on my pronunciations, and then my intonations. Gifted guys here are so interesting, that usually what they say cracks me right up. Hey, don't laugh at me hero guy, the one who just passing by please help! I know that I am slow and not smart enough. However, I appreciate that if you could help giving me some constructive advice。
我改為:
I've been reading aloud for several nights but haven't seen any improvement. Is it because I'm stupid? At night, I toss and turn in bed, can't sleep well. I think about how to make an effort with myself to keep on going to do a better job. I finally found that it will me take a long period of time to make my correction on my pronunciations, and then my intonations. Gifted guys here are so interesting. Usually what they say cracks me up. Hey, don't laugh at me, the ones who are just passing by, please help! I know that I am slow and not smart enough. However, I appreciate if you could help give me some constructive advice.
結論：
你用太多verb而沒有用
原來的文字：
I have read aloud for several nights but havn't seen see any improvement. Is it because I am so stupid that I can't do anything with it? At night, I toss and turn in bed, can't sleep well, because I think about how to make an effort to help myself keep on and do a better job. I finally found that it will take a long period of time to make correction on my pronunciations, and then my intonations. Gifted guys here are so interesting, that usually what they say cracks me right up. Hey, don't laugh at me hero guy, the one who just passing by please help! I know that I am slow and not smart enough. However, I appreciate that if you could help giving me some constructive advice。
我改為:
I've been reading aloud for several nights but haven't seen any improvement. Is it because I'm stupid? At night, I toss and turn in bed, can't sleep well. I think about how to make an effort with myself to keep on going to do a better job. I finally found that it will me take a long period of time to make my correction on my pronunciations, and then my intonations. Gifted guys here are so interesting. Usually what they say cracks me up. Hey, don't laugh at me, the ones who are just passing by, please help! I know that I am slow and not smart enough. However, I appreciate if you could help give me some constructive advice.
結論：
你用太多verb而沒有用
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