Your comments:
The article seems quite sincere, but it is full of errors, especially with verbs. First, 1) your experience of the movie would be better couched in the past: "...every minute was rivieting," "Watching it was...," etc. In general, 2) you seem to be thinking too much but not enough, choosing awkward "writing" instead of natural language. For instance, "The moment I realized it, it was already half an hour past the pick up time" is just 3)ghastly. Why don't you say, "I suddenly realized I was a half hour late." We already know what you're going to late for.
1)Your “experience of the movie” – your movie experience
Couched – it is a bit awkward here. “expressed” is a natural expression.
In the past – doesn’t make much sense. Should be “in the past tense”.
>>Your movie experience would be better expressed in the past tense.
2) …you seem to be thinking too much but not enough, choosing awkward “writing” instead of natural language
This sentence sounds contradictory and elusive. How can something be too much and not enough at the same time?
“Choosing awkward writing instead of natural language” may be better put this way: choosing "writing" awkwardly instead of "thinking" naturally.
>>Guess what you are trying to point out here for me is: In general, your verbose writing style prevents you from expressing yourself concisely and clearly. Point taken! :)
3) ghastly: Inspiring shock, revulsion, or horror by or as if by suggesting death;
Suggestive of or resembling ghosts.
It is a strong word. “Horrible” may be more suitable. But if you really think that sentence startled you as if seeing a ghost. I sincerely apologize here. :))
Of course, you can say "I suddenly realized I was a half hour late." But I feel it is too flat. “The moment I realized something….” is a common sentence pattern to stress the timing. Here I use it to stress the lateness. You may not know. As a drama queen of this forum, I like to spice up my writing. :)
4) In regard to what tense should be used in describing one’s movie experience, I’ve noticed lots of critics use present tense from head to toe in their movie reviews. You can google on line movie reviews if you like. I am trying to get used to this too.
Hope my verbose reply won't bother you. :)
