情商最低的行為，就是不停地講道理（1）

來源: 廢話多多於 2019-06-22 04:17:15 [檔案] [博客] [舊帖] [給我悄悄話] 本文已被閱讀：次 (4743 bytes)

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微信上有個網站 “拾遺” 主要功能是賣東西，有時也能轉賣一鍋可口的雞湯。讀過《我見過情商最低的行為，就是不停地講道理》的帖子，進一步證實了我網名的正確性。

但明白道理是一回事，改變行動又是一回事。樓下有位placidworld （PW）同學的帖子 https://bbs.wenxuecity.com/career/562578.html，大意是：PW 同學活兒多，公司派了個人給她幫忙，這位同事擅長幫倒忙，而且態度惡劣，一張嘴不是挑錯就是亂嚷嚷。不巧的是PW 同學的頭兒休假去了，她對付不了這位同事，上網求助。眾同學跟了很多好貼。PW 接著發第二貼求助，其實主意在第一次的跟貼中都說了，讀了第二貼，還是忍不住地要接著出主意，低一次情商。

希望情商低了一次後能吃塊巧克力補回來，要不咱職壇遲早會有個情商為0的版主，傳出去會讓城裏人笑掉大牙。

第二貼原帖： New update 1: what happened today

I was wrong. I thought he would back off. But afer one night, it sounds like he got new energy or whatever. He called me 5 minutes before one big meeting regarding to one email I responded - thanks for the person who tried to help and would follow up with the contact he shared with. He was angry at me for sending this email for God knows reason. After listening to his screaming for minutes, I found out that I was late for a project meeting, so I started the remote conference app while I was trying to tell him that I would recall the email if he did not like it. He kept screaming at me with very disrespectful words, harrassing tones, then entire meeting group heard the roaring - PM, Deliveries, Compliance, Marketers. I tried to soothe him but he wouldn't listen, people on the meeting over the conference call had to start talking loudly to me or ping me. Immediately, a lot people started texting to the PM that this was unacceptable and nonprofessional. The PM leader is willing to talk to him, but I knew he would revenge more. I told her I would like her to let our director know what's going on. He not just screamed at me, also purposely stop the progress of my projects, or demanded the business to change requests because he CAN'T handle even we had meeting before he was involved and we knew it was doable.

重複一次廢過的話：同事不會停止現在的作為，PW同學也改不了他的為人處事。

說句招人不待見的話：PW處理問題的方式，助長了同事的行為。比如，PW發了個郵件，同事發怒。PW則說如果他不高興，PW收回原來的郵件。這和律師們在法庭上常用的方法相仿，敘述某個事實，對方反對，法官說這個事實不該敘述，不算數。但說出去的話，潑出去的水，不管算數不算數，陪審團已經聽到了，起到了作用。郵件送出去了，不管收回不收回，已經成為既成事實。如果郵件不該發，那就真誠道歉，保證以後這種事不再發生。如果該發，PW是負責人，給誰發郵件是她的決定，誰愛高興不高興。

同事嚷嚷，如果不是約好的時間，可以馬上說：對不起，我在兩分鍾內有個會，我得走了。如果是約好的時間，可以說，你現在情緒激動，我們現在談下去解決不了問題，我給你一段時間平靜一下，10 （20， 30 。。。）分鍾之後我給你打過去。如果10分鍾之後打過去他接著嚷嚷，可以說：看來電話溝通解決不了問題，你給我發郵件吧。說完之後不必等他同意，客客氣氣說一句祝好的的話就掛電話。

辦公室裏用語言占上風是常事。聰明的人用一個兩個詞就可以把對方懟的有苦難言，PW的同事還算傻，大聲嚷嚷，用詞惡劣，別人一聽就是他沒理。但別人聽了說他沒理，解決不了PW的問題，無論是找上級還是找人事，隻要不解聘他，最後還是要自己解決問題。如果對這位同事的語言暴力不敢/不會回擊，希望上級或人事解決問題，也不過是暫時頂用。

建議PW同學寫個簡單的郵件向頭兒匯報一下和這位同事的矛盾，尤其是決定與上級和人事談話時。

題外的話：PW同學在與同事交談時同時上網開會，所以同事的行為眾人皆知，大家都譴責同事行為不當。然而，不知把同事放到放到會議中他知道不知道，如果不知道，他可以借此倒打一耙。