朋友送我一首歌，歌名叫做 Shape of My Heart（博克裏正在播放的），其實我的回應應該是 What is the shape of my heart 才對題。不過我要偏開一點，我想說人生如玩牌。
Shape of My Heart~
He deals the cards as a meditation
And those he plays never suspect
He doesn’t play for the money he wins
He doesn’t play for the respect
He deals the cards to find the answer
The sacred geometry of chance
The hidden law of probable outcome
The numbers lead a dance
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
He may play the jack of diamonds
He may lay the queen of spades
He may conceal a king in his hand
While the memory of it fades
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape, the shape of my heart
And if I told you that I loved you
You’d maybe think there’s something wrong
I’m not a man of too many faces
The mask I wear is one
Those who speak know nothing
And find out to their cost
Like those who curse their luck in too many places
And those who smile are lost
I know that the spades are the swords of a soldier
I know that the clubs are weapons of war
I know that diamonds mean money for this art
But that’s not the shape of my heart
That’s not the shape of my heart
玩牌的人各有各的目的，至少有三種很不同的心態或者玩法。很多人玩牌是為了賭博，為了贏；還有很多人玩牌是為了測算人生；省下還有不少人玩牌什麽都不為，就為了玩。賭博的人最野心勃勃，也最兢兢業業，最勇敢也最謹小慎微，投下的是時間，精力，閑暇，辛苦，勞累，甚至健康和生命，贏得的是財富，地位或者聲望。測算的人最茫然也最堅定，最貌似無力卻又可能最力抵千鈞，任何信仰都產生力量，把命運寄托在各種測算，求禱上因此不是沒有理由的。純粹玩耍的，可能最富有最不需要勞作，他們如果去賭博，反而可能減少財富和安逸，所以最好的選擇是玩過每一局，玩過每一天，他們的玩被好多人羨慕不已，被看作高雅，閑情逸致；還有一些人正好相反，一無所有，也可能玩，所謂窮樂，因為沒有任何資源，資本的人沒人帶他玩賭博，人生賭場也是有門檻的，雖然各個人群門檻高低不同。他們不得不玩，他們的玩被看作渾渾噩噩，不知死活。
其實很難用玩牌的心態截然劃分人群，因為賭博的人有的時候也玩測算，賭得一敗塗地的時候他們也可能一蹶不振，走向渾渾噩噩。那些總玩測算的，可能把冥想當真實而抓住了某種機會，從此賭興大發，一發不可收拾。那些有錢有閑的，也可能終於覺得無聊或者被教導保持一顆好賭的心，以普通賭徒的姿態加入賭博，那些渾渾噩噩之徒，機會最少，卻也不是一點鹹魚翻身的可能都沒有。
大多數時候，人在三種玩法中嚐試，一個階段主要這麽玩，另一個階段主要那麽玩，並不是一種玩法貫穿整個人生，但是不同類型的人會保持一種基本的傾向或心態貫穿他的人生。如果你問我 “What is the shape of your heart" , 嗬嗬，我不告訴你。
~O^