試譯 “Do not go gentle into that good night” by Dylan Thomas

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Do not go gentle into that good night

Dylan Thomas, 1914 – 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

漢譯

白日結束時老人要燃燒，要發熱，

不要溫柔的走進那良夜永別：

要激烈，激烈的應戰那光明熄滅。

智者的話沒化成閃電分蘖，雖然

他們臨終之時知道黑暗就是正確，

但是不要溫柔的走進那良夜永別。

善人，作最後一浪的告別，哭訴

細浪在碧灣中本可舞得多有光潔，

要激烈，激烈的應戰那光明熄滅。

野叟，曾抓著飛逝的陽光放聲唱，

太遲地知道，歌唱時曾為之悲傷，

不要溫柔的走進那良夜永別。

正經人臨終在讓人盲目之中看到

盲人的眼睛能像流星燃燒、熱烈，

要激烈，激烈的應戰那光明熄滅。

你啊，我的父親，在那高天悲咽，

我禱告，請用熱淚詛咒並賜福我。

不要溫柔的走進那良夜永別。

要激烈，激烈的應戰那光明熄滅。

1. 因為看過這個電影，所以有過共鳴。因為看過這電影，所以在讀了舒嘯的譯文之後就有我的即興翻譯。

2. 怎麽讀懂詩歌，英文有句俗話“Our eyes may sometimes cheat us, but our ears never fail us.” 就是說詩歌要朗誦，在朗誦的過程中，可以聽出哪些地方用詞造句有些不對，也可以聽出整篇作品的情感，語氣和聲音，讓作者和聽眾產生共鳴。這首詩的基調是“烈士暮年，壯懷激烈；”並且超越一步，就是死了之後也要活的轟轟烈烈，不然不會引起觀眾強烈的共鳴。

3. 可以看出，這首詩歌的力量還來自雙刃修辭，即在正話反著說的同時反話正著說，而一般的修辭隻有單邊鋒刃。