平凸雜談
才高五鬥不覺恥，水灌一壇隻作癡。凸情不枉君付意，子誌難琢我化石。
《Hardly Essay》的係列，已經出了七篇經Waitlist轉正的主文書：
（1）Princeton的WL,韓裔女生的Art as Indentity文書。
（2）Harvard的WL，華裔女生的YouTube for Identity文書。
（3）Princeton的WL,華裔男生的Photogrophy Interest文書。
（4）MIT的WL,白人女生的Engaging Art with Science文書。
（5）UPenn的WL，白人女生的Teaching in Differences文書。
（6）Williams的WL，華裔女生的Thanking Parents from Daughter感人文書。
（7）Vandy的WL，白人女生的Perfectionist's Obstacle文書。
Hardly Essay的質量優良，但卻不足以一舉命中。有時候，學習Hardly Essays,比學習爆款文書還要重要，因為它們能為你指出那些你自己正在犯的錯。
還是有讀者提問，難道這些申請者拿到Waitlist的原因都是主文書嗎？為什麽係列裏沒見小文書呢？
這篇，就專門講一套Waitlist的小文書，作為Hardly Essay係列的後續。先Waitlist，再被轉正，再把文書原文Po出來，而且還是全套小文書的，這個概率很小。這篇的舉例，確實很珍貴。
更珍貴的，是它們出自一位申請Yale的Mexican American Girl。她的名字叫Anna Reynoso, Yale'23。你可以在YouTube上找到她。
墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #1：
Academic Interest (100Words)
My fascination with astrophysics was sparked seven years ago by a YouTube video in which twelve-yea-old Jacob Barnett demonstrated his extensive knowledge of astrophysics. Immediately, I fell in love. No, not with Jacob—with astrophysics. At age of ten, I started researching dark energy and watching astronomy lectures online. After learning new concepts, I’d write equations and diagrams in a small blue notebook. My notes mostly contained variables and drawings of wormholes and looked like gibberish. It’s exhilarating that there’s always something new to discover. We might never learn all of the universe’s secrets—but I’ll never stop asking questions.
【凸子評】
十歲偶然、油管視頻，這些作為專業興趣的緣起，常見但可信。但這篇主要弱點在於後續的興趣發展沒有足夠有趣真實的specific。比如，New Concepts可以換成supernova，equation可以直接寫上 v=H0*D，或者用文字代表述：I’d ponder its half-light running away from me。
其實，她還可以寫得更深一點。愛因斯坦說光速是宇宙的極限，那麽根據Hubble’s Law，宇宙裏的最遠距離也是有極限的。愛因斯坦和哈珀到底誰正確？This the first question I want raise in Professor XXX class atYale. 這會讓文中的天文學passion顯得更真實！
墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #2
Why Yale (125Words)
Yale focus on “and.” I’d obtain a degree in the subject I specifically love: astrophysics—even the Department of Astronomy‘s research in High Energy Astrophysics focuses on my specific interest: black holes. Through Yale’s Science, Technology and Research Scholars (STARS) program, I’d eagerly adsorb research experience and embrace a tight-knit STEM family. I’d purpose my passion for comedy! To laugh or not to laugh—that is The Viola Question. This comedy troupe’s focus on audience interaction propels my desire to join the VQ. I never want to give up any of my passions—and at Yale, I’d never have to.
【凸子評】
這篇Why Yale的“and”，落點很具體。這是好的。但後麵的陳述就流俗了。所感興趣的Black Hole和Comedy有什麽聯係沒有。隻有Yale允許兩個毫無關聯的專業合二為一，這種說法算是硬brag了。每個申請者都會多少說一兩句的話，總顯得幹巴。墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #3
Topic of Interest (250Words)
Forget Maleficent, Cruella de Vil, and Jafar. The supervillains in my story are called Yellow 6 and Blue 2. And my ultimate arch-nemesis? Red 40. Every week, when my mom and I buy groceries, she’ll ask me something like: “can we get these cookies?” I’ll mercilessly scan the ingredients list, disapprovingly shake my head at its sugar content, and regretfully state, like Simon Cowell, “it’s no from me.” My mom will jokingly ask, “what are we gonna eat—ever?” I dissect nutritional labels and conjure up articles about Preservatives-That-Shall-Not-Be-names in hopes of decoding the unnecessarily complex words that plague ingredients list. Rather than accepting the skimpy portions of information listed on packages, I feast on the buffet of information available online to discover the unknowns I seek to understand. Through extensive research, I’ve learned about potential carcinogens like Butylated Hydroxy Anisole (BHA). Countless other preservatives silently threaten families—and it’s infuriating how inaccessible this crucial information is. My fear of consuming potential deadly additives has proven to be powerful motivator. I’m terrified of losing my mom, who’s all I have in the world. Protecting my mom is my priority, so my passion for food is how I’m there for her. To defeat these villainous additives, the only superpower I need is the ability to spread awareness and ignite in others a sense of curiosity that motivates them to investigate what they consume. As long as I continue researching my enemies, my inner Sleeping Foodie will live happily ever after.
【凸子評】
墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #4
Community Contribution (250Words)
Every Sunday at 11 a.m., my heart breaks. As my mom and I drive Downtown towards the Cathedral, I spot clusters of people in ragged clothes sitting on the streets beside their belongings. They often hold signs conveying heartbreaking messages. Cathedral’s Mexican community—which has become an extension of our family—provides unconditional support for my project “Help the Homeless,” which helps provide food to those facing homelessness. Many people within this community are immigrants from low-income households. Although they have less than most, they try to give back more than others. Because my mom has always taught me to be selfless, I immensely admire their dedication to helping others. Whenever someone needs help, everyone unites to support them. My mom and I grieved with the Sunday School coordinator after a family member passed away. And we made soup for a teacher at Sunday School when she caught the flu. I firmly believe in the importance of small gestures. Kind actions make people feel recognized, loved, and empowered to pay forward the monumental difference they silently experienced. So, through small yet powerful actions, I aim to impact others. In return, my family at cathedral has helped me address an issue that breaks my heart by contributing to the “Help the Homeless” project. At Cathedral, I’m a sister and a niece to people I met four years ago. And I’m infinitely grateful to play a role in this community that I call family.
【凸子評】
這一篇所講的，是典型的義工助貧活動。幾乎所有的美國高中生都有類似經曆。稍有不同的是，Help Homeless這項活動是Anna親自發起的，合作方是本社區的教堂。社區內有很多homeless，這就側麵告訴了招生官，Anna是從一個落後的社區走出來的申請者。你們都知道這個信息在當前申請裏的特殊價值。這讓一個很普通的義舉也顯得更加有意義。墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #5
Inspiration (250Characters)
Laughter is therapeutic—it can instill hope in those facing heartaches, illness, and war. Its power motivates me to impact others’ lives through comedy. I want to help the world heal through laughter.
【凸子評】
雖然用laugher來呼應了前麵的專業興趣，但是這一篇說出的是Aspiration，而不是Inspiration。很多同學分不清兩者的區別。Aspiration是你渴望去做的事，Inspiration是一個新鮮和有創意的想法。下麵那篇Course Teaching裏，就有很好的inspiration。
墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #6
Invite Guest (250Characters)
I’d ask comedian and neuroscientist Mayim Bialik, “beyond shows like The Big Bang Theory, how can comedy and STEM intersect?” I’ve tried determining how to combine both passions—and I’d love her help.
【凸子評】
對於一篇250Character的Q&A，這篇應該說不錯了。Bialik用得很具體。如果，前一篇有個Black Hole的段子，這一篇的Bialik就是一個更好的呼應了。墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #7
Course Teaching (250Characters)
“Black Holes: Universal Delicacies.” And yes, we do eat gummy worms while dissecting wormholes, pasta while defining spaghettification, and microwave popcorn while analyzing Hawking radiation.
【凸子評】
把天文學概念和日常食物聯係在一起的段子，有笑點，放在前麵更好一些。這一篇應該把黑洞在科學角度上的精妙之處具體說說，不要讓多年的黑洞passion顯得淺顯。墨裔女生的Yale-WL Supp #8
Suitemate Experience (250Characters)
Photos of food fill my phone—when I ate 35 wings at Hooters and 10 tacos in Mexico—so I can later savor precious moments. I hope they’re eager to combine our quirky habits to create new traditions.
【凸子評】
上過大學的人都知道，有一個吃貨室友，那會是你大學四年的寶貴財富。AO不可能不懂這一點。這一篇，如果要改進，那就把自己的quirky habit寫的具體點，比如在taco裏加Cream Cheese（我臨時想的，我也沒這樣吃過）。
綜*合*評*價
這幾篇Supp的內容看，Anna確實找準了一個耶魯的強賣點，“and”(文理雙修)。而且，她也把自己呈現成了一個很不錯的天體物理和戲劇專業的double major candidate。文理雙修的高材生是耶魯特色。今年春假的訪校中，我見過這麽兩例。一個是校導女孩Shira，數學加政治雙學位。另一個是校導的舍友Juliana，英語文學和地質學雙學位。這兩位文理雙修的女生，本質上還都是文科生。她們選擇理科第二專業的原因也一樣，都是因為在Freshman時，對普課教授的超級好感。
Anna這幾篇Supp也有明顯的弱項。作為一個喜歡表演的理科生，還是在文字表達上帶有較明顯的理科思維傾向。即，邏輯完整但情緒不足。除了前麵講到的一些地方缺少具體細節（specific）來引導和承載讀者的情緒之外，她還喜歡用副詞來表達情緒。
比如，在第三篇裏的 “I’ll mercilessly scan the ingredients list, disapprovingly shake my head at its sugar content, and regretfully state, like Simon Cowell, ‘it’s no from me’”。
形容詞和副詞用以表達情緒，但它們是實詞之外的輔助功能。能用名詞和動詞這樣的實詞直接帶出情緒來的時候，給讀者的情緒會更直接：I‘ll audit its ingredients, shake my head, and announce in a spirit of Simon Cowell, “it’s no from me”。
無論如何，Anna的WL在五月中還是被Yale轉正了的。她的這幾篇Supp，確實值得很多申請者學習。
我知道，你們還是會糾結於人家的墨裔背景可能產生的某種優勢。但是，請注意，我們這裏講的是先被Waitlisted後Admitted，這個過程基本上與族裔無關。更重要的是，誰在WL中更討“喜”罷了。
