College Essay 係列 (二十七)：Hardly Essay (3) 普林 WL文書

華裔男生的普林斯頓WL文書 《My Camera》

 

Candice is her name. A little bulkier than most but has all the curves in the right places. Anywhere I go, she's right there with me, hand in hand. I was in the eighth grade when I met her, and oh boy, it was like love at first sight.

As I walked into that vintage camera store and set eyes on the dusty Canon AE-1 film camera on the middle shelf just above eye level, I knew we would be best friends for a long time to come. Ever since then, Candice has been my partner in crime as we work together to find a balanced exposure, compose the frame, and snap the perfect shot.

Photography has always been more than just taking a quick pic on my phone, slapping on a filter, and posting it on lnstagram in hopes of likes and comments. Still images are so intensely personal; anyone viewing the photo will have a different interpretation shaped by his or her experiences, but only the photographer knows what was going on in their head when a single moment in time was frozen forever.

It took me a long time to flip the switch between photography as a hobby and photography as a platform to share my experiences with the world around me and it's almost even turned into a metaphor for my life.

Are certain aspects the subject of my shot when my focus should be elsewhere? Am I finding the right balance between shadows and highlights, or am I too focused on the darkness that I completely forget about the light in my life? Should I be looking at this in black and white or taking all colors into account?

Over the years, Candice has served as the lens through which my perspective was constantly challenged. Through thick and thin, she stood by my side and eventually helped me earn an all-expenses paid scholarship to Ecuador and the Galápagos Islands with National

Geographic Student Expeditions.

During our second week, after playing an arranged game of fútbol with some children of the village, I leaned over to a spectating young boy and asked, "Hola, ¿cómo estás?"

He looked up at me with pleasant surprise and replied, "¿Tú hablas español?"

I'm sure it wasn't often the boy met a young Asian who could speak his language in a small village off the tourist path of Ecuador. After striking up a conversation and capturing an image of the boy, he came around to glance at my LCD screen and the joy immediately illuminated his wide grin as if this may have been the first time he had seen a portrait of himself.

Through a simple photograph, all perceived linguistic and cultural barriers had been torn down and a meaningful connection had been formed. When I look back at this photo years from now, I may not remember who won the game, but I'll always remember the power of that child's smile and its lasting effect on me.

They say you never forget your first love. Despite the fact that Candice remains retired in a drawer after years of demanding work, the experiences I have captured with her and the impact that photography has had on my outlook of life, will last forever.

It's little memories like this exchange with the young boy that have accumulated to shape the person I am today. When I look back at all the adventures of my short 17-year span lifetime, I've come to the realization that my journey with Candice has allowed me to capture the most meaningful moments, shine light on new perspectives, and live my life through a different lens.

 

= = = 點評 = = =

咱，還是先說好聽的咯。

Candice，哦，Canon AE-1，這篇就是上一篇建議過的，以Camera實體當主線的好文書。這篇，就這樣起了一個好開頭！Bulkier, curve, dusty, partner in crime 這些詞眼，都是有著鮮明的文字個性的好詞兒。

但是，好開頭不等於好故事。你們聽我這個用詞兒，我說了好故事，沒說好文書。這就是很多人說的Narrative Essay。

這篇可惜，又是一個寫了好幾版得開頭，然後虎頭蛇尾的文書案例。從遇見Candice，進入與她為伴的攝影生涯，作者給我讀了些什麽呢？Statements 加 Questions，直到贏了個去厄瓜多爾的國際旅行獎。可是，用什麽攝影作品參選並獲獎的，居然一字未提。作者是指望AO去Activity List裏去找到答案，但是這個被List出來的答案，能勾起情感共鳴就少了許多。

接著往下讀，給厄瓜多爾男孩拍了照。照片中的男孩的微笑，逾越語言的障礙。這看起來好像也有好故事的素質。但是，既然要讓Candice去逾越有perceived linguistic barrier，作者嘴裏的那句"Hola, ¿cómo estás?" 就成了主題的dilution。畢竟嘛，作者的基本西班牙語的能力已經把linguistic barrier降到最低了，需要Candice去逾越的障礙也就不那麽高了。

文書以 live different lens 結尾，這也是個不明所以的概念。How different? On what it is different？關於遇見Candice之前的生活和作者的思想，這篇文書在前麵根本沒有給出過，也就無從談起結尾處的 difference。這樣的文字構造，屬於寫作上的敗筆。作者腦子裏有那個Difference，但卻沒有落筆給讀者的故事證據。

讀到這篇的AO，一定是後來從申請中，了解到作者意指的 difference 是什麽了。隻是這篇文書並沒有恰倒好處地駕馭AO的情感而已。這就是普林先給作者一個WL的道理所在。