如果你是招生官，你更喜歡哪一篇文書

給你們看兩篇優秀的文書。這兩篇都是疫情中征服了AO的好文書。有趣的是，兩篇的主題都是美國政治的兩極分化。而且呢，兩篇的作者都是亞裔女生。雖有如此種種共同之處，這兩篇質量卻是各有千秋。來看看我們自己的文書欣賞水平。

第一篇

《Left And Right Don't Exist》

 

The first lesson I learned as a student pilot is that left and right don’t exist. Maybe driving on a highway or in a parking lot, left and right is precise enough to describe the location and movements of slow-moving bikers, pedestrians, and cars. But at 36,000 feet in the air in a steel tube hurdling almost 200 miles an hour? Left and right just don’t cut it.

During one of my first flights in as mall Cessna-182, my flight instructor ordered me to scan the horizon for approaching aircrafts. To my right, I caught a glimpse of one: another Cessna with maroon stripes, the sun’s reflection glinting off its windows. Gesturing vaguely to my two o’clock, I informed my flying instructor, “There’s a plane to the right.”

“No, to your right. From his position, what direction does he see you?” From his angle, I was to his left. In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. The radio chirped: “Cessna One-Eight-Two Sandra, heading north to John Wayne Airport. Over.”

I navigate using my compass’s north, east, south, and west directions because every pilot’s vantage point differs from each other both vertically and horizontally, creating opposite perspectives. My right was that pilot’s left.

Through flying, I began to consider all points of view, regardless of my personal perspective.

Perhaps it was my ability to scan the horizon to communicate a single story, uniting contrasting outlooks, that drew me to my love for journalism and the diverse melting pot that was my community.

To me, journalism modernizes the ancient power of storytelling, filled with imperfect characters and intricate conflicts to which I am the narrator. As editor-in-chief for my school newspaper, The Wildcat’s Tale, I aim to share the uncensored perspective of all students and encourage my editorial groups to talk — and listen — to those with whom they disagree. Starting each newspaper edition with a socratic, round-table discussion, I ask the other journalists to pursue stories that answer the questions: why did this happen and where will it lead?

Expanding beyond the perspectives of my classmates, I began writing articles for the Korea Daily, and later, the Los Angeles Times High School Insider. I schedule interviews with city council candidates, young and old voters, and mayors of my town, obtaining quotes and anecdotes to weave into my writing. My interviews with both Democratic and Republican voters have taught me to thoroughly report polarizing-opposite opinions through an unbiased lens. As a journalist, I realized I cannot presume the opinions of the reader, but instead simply provide them with the tools necessary to formulate their own conclusions.

However, differences in perspective in my articles are not solely limited to politics. I found that in my suburban community, people love to read about the small-town hospitality of their own friends and neighbors. Quirky traditions, like our Fourth of July carnival clown and local elementary school’s Thanksgiving talent show, are equally as important to me as national headlines are. My favorite stories to publish are the ones taped onto fridges, proudly framed on the mom-and-pop downtown diner, or pinned into the corkboard in my teacher’s classroom. I discovered the size of my story does not matter, but the impact I leave on the reader does.

In my time as both a student pilot and journalist, I grew to love these stories, the ones that showed me that living life with blinders, can not only be boring, but dangerous. Whether I was 36,000feet in the air or on ground level, by flying and writing, I realized that the most interesting stories of life come straight from the people most different from me.

 

---

 

第二篇

《From Christianity To Different Truth》

 

“Ella, what did you think of Douglass’s view on Christianity?” I gulped. Increasingly powerful palpitations throbbed in my heart as my eyes darted around the classroom – searching for a profound response to Dr. Franklin’s question. I took a deep breath while reaching the most genuine answer I could conjure.

“Professor, I don’t know.”

Dr. Franklin stared at me blankly as he attempted to interpret the thoughts I didn’t voice. My lack of familiarity with the assigned text wasn’t a consideration that crossed his mind because he was familiar with my past contributions to class discussions. I was a fervent critic of the corrupted culture behind Christianity of the Puritans in Hawthorne’s “Young Goodman Brown” and modern evangelicals involved in the puzzling divinity of Donald Trump. He arched his flummoxed brows as he began to open his mouth.

“Professor, what I mean is that I’m not sure whether or not I even have a say on Douglass’s statements on Christianity in his Narrative of the Life.”

In class, I often separated the culture of Christianity from the religion. To tie these immensely disparate concepts as one and coin it as Christianity would present fallacies that contradict with the Christianity I knew. Lack of tolerance and hostility were products of humans’ sinful nature – not the teachings of Christ. People were just using Christianity as an excuse to exalt themselves rather than the holy name of Jesus. These were the “facts.”

My greatest realization came when Douglass declared Christian slave-holders as the worst slave-holders he ever met because of their deceptive feign of piety and use of Christianity to justify the oppression of their slaves. I realized that I couldn’t bring myself to raise the same argument that I used to convince myself that my Christianity of love was the only true Christianity. To Douglass, Christianity was the opposite. I didn’t want to dismiss his story. People use this sacred religion to spread hatred, and to many, this is the only Christianity they know. Their experiences aren’t any bit falser than mine.

Christianity isn’t the only culture that harbors truth that transcends the “facts.” America’s less of a perfect amalgamation of different ethnic cultures and more of a society severed by tribal conflicts rooted in the long established political culture of the nation. Issues such as racism, white privilege, and gender disparity are highly salient topics of current political discussion. However, during a time when people can use online platforms with algorithms that provide content they want to see, we fail to acknowledge the truth in other people’s experiences and express empathy.

As a Korean-American in the South, I am no stranger to intolerance. I remember the countless instances of people mocking my parents for their English pronunciation and my brother’s stutter. Because their words were less eloquent, people deemed their thoughts as less valuable as well. I protect my family and translate their words whenever they have a doctor’s appointment or need more ketchup at McDonald’s. My protective nature drives my desire to connect with different people and build understanding. To do so, however, I step outside my Korean American Southern Baptist paradigm because my experiences do not constitute everyone else’s.

Excluded from the Manichaean narrative of this country, I observe the turmoil in our nation through a separate lens - a blessing and a curse. Not only do I find myself awkwardly fixed in a black vs. white America, but I also fail to define my identity sandwiched between Korean and American. In the end, I find myself stuck amongst the conventional labels and binaries that divide America.

“You seem to work harder than most to understand other people’s points of view,” Dr. Franklin said after I shared these thoughts to the class.

“I find this easier because I spent my childhood assuming that my culture was always the exception,” I replied. As an anomaly, accepting different truths is second nature.

 

 

• 感覺第一篇有點平淡，除了飛行員這件事不簡單，第二篇好像有點獨特，因為這個原因感覺有點深度，如果一定要二選一應該是這篇。感覺第二篇作者是大藤料 - 米湯 - ♂    (44 bytes) (49 reads) 05/05/2022  21:32:15

• 什麽孩子會高中學開飛機呢 - 賈平凸 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  05:15:38

• 加州亞裔高中生開飛機不多，應該是有錢又有冒險獨行意識，但文章沒提到喜歡冒險獨行，可能在這裏拿飛機駕照不是太大事。韓裔舍得花錢給小孩，不一定是家裏多有錢以前好像飛機駕照幾千刀可以學到，小中可能騎馬更常見，有些小留喜歡做這個

 - 米湯 - ♂    (188 bytes) (15 reads) 05/06/2022  08:18:15

• 肯定是第二篇，信仰算是一個不能碰的題材吧，寫成這樣而且還有深度很不容易。第一篇凸顯了孩子的priviledge，無深度。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (8 reads) 05/05/2022  21:57:59

• 感覺一般人對第二篇討論的人物是誰都不一定了解，能有分析，並聯係到自己的背景和思想的高中生不簡單。讀的時候猜Douglass 是基督徒奴隸主。父母到了高中有時瞎指揮真會幫倒忙。給孩子足夠空間，出主意的時候必須給出自己的分析和出發點，便於孩子取舍。

 - 米湯 - ♂    (245 bytes) (53 reads) 05/05/2022  22:14:31

• 是，而且明確的表現了絲糕的背景，感覺好像是針對yale（或者Princeton？）的essay。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (8 reads) 05/05/2022  22:20:45

• 是不是在絲高稱老師為教授？ - 米湯 - ♂    (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/05/2022  22:47:48

• 不會啊，一般有博士的老師要稱Dr 某某，但沒有叫教授的，他們不是啊。莫非是到大學選課？ - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (5 reads) 05/05/2022  22:50:07

• 如何看出這篇來自私高？是因為課程討論的內容嗎？ - 米湯 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/05/2022  22:54:46

• 對，沒有一個公高有能力開這種選修課，頂級絲糕很常見。但你懷疑的有道理，也有可能是去大學上課。intellectual的話題+自己移民的背景，是針對東岸T3的，尤其是Y或P。 - windyLL - ♀   (97 bytes) (47 reads) 05/05/2022  23:01:57 (1)

• 大學教授到高中兼課？CC 或者大學的課？暑期大學裏的夏令營？上了這門課裏麵那幾個名字自然就都知道了。這篇裏麵簡單粗暴show off 有點多。立意也太政治正確有點cheat shot。思維也不太深刻。我不怎麽喜歡。 - randomness - ♀   (144 bytes) (29 reads) 05/06/2022  05:25:11

• 想想普通AO隻能花上1，2分鍾讀這個，簡單粗暴是必要的。思想那麽有深度的人就不會當AO而去做教授了。我們自己寫過essay的就知道太多不能碰的題材，不能用的詞語，加上字數限製，加上體貼AO的種種，最後就不是偉大的文學作品了。 - windyLL - ♀   (183 bytes) (15 reads) 05/06/2022  07:52:35

• Fred Douglas考過SAT的知道是誰 - 賈平凸 - ♂    (71 bytes) (37 reads) 05/06/2022  06:20:48

• 小學生就知道是誰了吧，到處有以他命名的橋和路，我兒子五或六年級在黑人月做了內戰和奴隸解放運動的PPT，讀了很多文獻 - 飛黎 - ♀   (0 bytes) (1 reads) 05/06/2022  10:08:21

• 是啊，放羊的父母靠及時google - 米湯 - ♂    (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/06/2022  10:23:46

• 兩篇都算一般好吧？文筆平直。第二篇主題有點危險，不過因為是批判性談基督教所以過了AO關 - randomness - ♀   (0 bytes) (7 reads) 05/06/2022  05:13:47

• 您的標準真高 - 賈平凸 - ♂    (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  06:21:45

• Accept or not, identity is not political, but personal。They are equally good, equally convincing.  The legend says, when one of their peers picks up the essay from the floor littered with essays, one could return it to the rightful writer. These two essays are very personal, personally identifiable. - yude - ♂    (266 bytes) (33 reads) 05/06/2022  06:32:51

• 第二篇好點，但有點亂。觀察是很不錯的：the Manichaean narrative of this country - tibuko - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  06:33:16

• 我喜歡第一篇。特別是這段：“No, to your right. From his position, what direction does he see you?” From his angle, I was to his left. In that moment, I realized that perspective and precision of language is everything. The radio chirped: “Cessna One-Eight-Two Sandra, heading north to John Wayne Airport. Over.” - 最愛韭菜盒子 - ♀   (799 bytes) (19 reads) 05/06/2022  09:47:33

• 前麵還不錯開飛機吸引人，但接下來有點平鋪直敘, 堆砌了做過的事，感覺自述過多虎頭蛇尾。讀者預期是特立獨行離經叛道的品格 - 米湯 - ♂    (0 bytes) (6 reads) 05/06/2022  10:11:18

• 文章寫了自己的growth，但沒有對community的impact，因為這是個priviledge的community，不需要小孩的impact - windyLL - ♀   (216 bytes) (22 reads) 05/06/2022  10:18:03

• 這位AO評出了要點 - 米湯 - ♂    (0 bytes) (4 reads) 05/06/2022  10:19:50

• 哈哈，顯然真AO不這麽想，也說明了Essay不是rate-limiting step。 - windyLL - ♀   (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  10:22:54

• 都還行，涉世未深的年輕人的憤世嫉俗，應該不是寫手寫的 - 飛黎 - ♀   (0 bytes) (0 reads) 05/06/2022  10:12:00

• 第一篇有好的立意，開頭和結尾都不錯，但文筆不怎麽樣，太多 I 和my. - fish100 - ♀   (0 bytes) (2 reads) 05/06/2022  10:18:05