平凸雜談

才高五鬥不覺恥,水灌一壇隻作癡。凸情不枉君付意,子誌難琢我化石。
個人資料
賈平凸 (熱門博主)
  • 博客訪問:
正文

College Essay係列(四):頂級文書2017 匹薩文

(2021-10-23 09:37:32) 下一個

頂級文書の迭代2017

經過爆紅的Costco Essay啟蒙,美本人們的腦洞大開。僅僅過了一年,就出現了一篇Pizza Essay。作者Carolina Williams。但當你仔細閱讀後,就不難發現,這本就是一篇縮寫版的Costco Essay嘛。讀過頂級文書的你和我都想抄,但我們要會抄哦!

↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ 想直接欣賞Pizza Essay的,請下拉到文尾。↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ ↓ 

誰是Carolina Williams

Brentwood, TN,是音樂之城、鄉村樂之都Nashiville市的近郊小鎮。鎮公立高中BHS,在田納西州排名前五,在全美排名前200。鎮上住著一對音樂人母女,母親Pebe,女兒Ke$ha。Ke$ha從BHS輟學後,卻以1580的SAT進入哥大。但在2005年簽約索尼音樂之後就從哥大退學了。Ke$ha就學、退學隨意性,解釋著納什人在處理傳統學業問題上的現實浪漫主義性格。

Pebe和Kesha母女兩代音樂人

Carolina Williams,就是這個BHS高中的2017級畢業生,她在全年級排名前十,ACT分數34。除此之外,她還在鎮圖書館和教堂做義工,參加Model UN。但你會覺得,所有這些並非大藤必錄的元素吧。是的,對於Carolina來說,申藤本來就是碰碰運氣。這個很有想法的姑娘,並不是一個爬藤人。

3月底,耶魯offer到了。耶魯AO熱情的親筆信,也到了。"你用一年時間讀完100本書的故事,超熱情、有趣和耐人尋味。作為一個喜歡披薩的人,我在讀你的披薩文時都笑崩了,然後就去訂了張披薩"。挺這AO說的,這篇披薩文果然是她給Carolina發出錄取的一大動因。

但是,等等。那AO不是說,Carolina還有一篇讀書破百卷的文書呢嗎?那篇文書雖未爆紅網絡,但它是Carolina的Common App 主文書。必須拿來欣賞一下。

[附文] Common Essay: 1 Year 100 Books Essay, by Carolina Williams

If each week of the year had a personality, the last week of December would be awkward. I'm in between holidays, so there is nothing to celebrate. The idle hours compound pressure to create some sort of obligatory resolution, and I am uncomfortably forced inside my own mind to contemplate how I can become a better version of myself.

I was caught in this reflective stupor in a never-ending retail line during the last week of December 2014 when one piece of conversation somehow audibly rose above the characteristic murmur of a crowd awaiting gift return: "I think you'll like him," said one man to another, "he's very well-read." After that, their words fizzled into mumbles as my own thoughts overcame the sounds of theirs, because hearing that within my realm of introspection, those words ignited in me a desire to be well-read. The notion was utterly vain, but the thought of being called "well-read" was sweet, and the taste of his words lingered in my mind. To me, "well-read" implied a new level of intelligence and a wealth of experience that the word "smart" did not. Relenting to the shallow endeavor, I established becoming well-read as my goal for the next year.

I have always been a reader, my childhood days spent reading, anxiously awaiting my next voyage to the library or Barnes and Noble. I discovered at an early age that reading was the fastest way to acquire information, and I quickly began to appreciate the art of the stories in my books and I frequently turned to them for entertainment. Despite my background as a reader, though, I had begun to read less in high school, and I knew I needed a plan. Instinctively, I turned to the Internet in search of an unrealistic formula to become well-read. Deep into the pages of Google, I stumbled across one valuable clue - a man awed for reading tilly books in one year. Hoping for unquestionable validity, I decided to double it.

In Janua1y of 2015, I began my first book of the year, with ninety-nine more ahead of me. Starting with Bom Standing Up, a memoir by Steve Martin, I delved into various authors, genres, and eras, and I gained valuable new perspective from each one. Each book is a sculptor, molding me into a better form. Fictional characters have allowed me to better understand the thoughts and feelings of other people. Memoirs have given me both the secrets to success and the opportunity to learn from others' mistakes. And from non-fiction books, I have become more knowledgeable about a myriad of topics, including physics, Wall Street, and inevitably, the Dewey Decimal System. Through all books, though, I am able to live so many lives. From the glamorous to the mundane, I've lived the life of a daring entrepreneur, a poor girl growing up in Brooklyn, an exasperated waiter, and a shrewd detective. With books, my lives, and the lessons I learn from them, are infinite.

After twelve months passed and I turned the final pages of This Side of Paradise by F. Scott Fitzgerald, I knew that my relationship with books was only just beginning. I have continued my reading habits in 2016, and I will finish my hundredth book of this year in December. Yet, I have come to find that being "well-read" is not truly attainable, but rather it is an asymptote that my endless list of books to read makes impossible to touch. Therefore, I am no longer reading for a title. I read with such urgency because it both satiates and sparks my curiosity; I turn to literature to find solace, as well as inspiration. And now, that awkward last week of December has become a time to reflect on each book I've read that year, and I celebrate the words that have shaped me.

======《100 Book In One Year 》結束======

能讓人讀完就去買披薩的披薩文書,不會隻拿到一份耶魯錄取,那還是一篇上佳的營銷文案。收到offer那天,Carolina在發推的同時也艾特了Papa John's。PJ的老板樂瘋了:天上掉下個大披薩餅,馬上接住!於是,Carolina又收獲了一年的披薩暢吃,還外帶一個大一暑期去PJ公司得實習崗。注意,不是外賣員,是Marketing Analyst,每月4000美元。

來自Nashville的人,骨子裏都是浪漫的,即使是不搞音樂、誌向營銷的Carolina也是浪漫到骨子裏。在藤家三哥耶魯如此盛情之下,聰明的Carolina卻選擇了當年還排在99位的Auburn University的商學院。這可不是因為99這數字太吉利!Carolina說,奧本大學離家近,奧本校園還有PJ披薩門店。更主要的是,奧本為了搶到Carolina,還闊氣地發出每年72,000美元的獎學金。

爬藤小夥伴們,讀到這裏就懂了。在爬藤這個空間裏,選金錢不叫現實主義,叫現實浪漫主義,比如著名的哈佛退學生們。現實是自己偷著樂的,浪漫是給人們去傳說的。拿著奧本大學full ride的Carolina,大一開始就堅持打工賺錢:啤酒和賀卡公司的銷售,日產汽車的市場分析。此外,她還把考證也考到了手軟。

AO必錄の文書三要素

這篇Pizza Essay非藤校必錄,它既沒有哈佛要的社會公平,也沒有斯坦佛的智能活力。但它還是屬於一類特型的頂級文書,即AO必錄文書。

寫文書的時候,要關注AO個人。AO們在連續一個月、每天20-30篇普通文書的疲勞狀態裏,是需要點歡樂刺激的。這可能是她喜歡的音樂、電影、娛樂、旅行、書籍,食物,或者任何在疲勞中還能撥動她sympathetic emotion 的東西。

但AO必錄並不等於AO看見就一定會錄。要看她在讀你Essay當時的狀態,是否那時需要這種刺激。這麽寫文書會很Risky。這就是為什麽Carolina並未同時拿下哈、普、斯的緣由。

  1. Pick your jove

寫文書時要關注你的讀者,即AO。在連續一個月、每天20-30篇普通文書的狀態中,AO需要點歡樂刺激。可能是她喜歡的音樂、電影、旅行、書籍,或食物等等。你不知道她肯定喜歡什麽,但知道她大概率會喜歡什麽。

  1. Plot your theme

再好的故事,不會說就可能沒趣。會甩包袱,這很重要。第一句話就把門鈴聲描繪出一幅畫麵來,這樣設包袱是非常簡潔有效的。第二句話就把披薩請出來,這包袱打開的時機拿捏恰好。這時候AO大概率是沒心情讀長包袱的。

  1. Surprise your fans

結尾和開頭一樣重要。這篇的最後,巧妙地以independence,consolation和joy來詮釋自己的點外賣經曆,這仿佛3600年前的伊尹從烹小鮮悟出治大國。It's totally an art to start small and conclude big。

接下來,請欣賞這篇不足200字的Pizza 小 Supp:

[Yale Supplemental] Write on something you would like us to know about you that you have not conveyed elsewhere in your application (250 words).

The sound of my doorbell starts off high, then the pitch mellows out, and the whole effect mimics an instrumental interpretation of rain finally finding a steady pace at which to fall. I have spent several minutes analyzing its tone because I have had many opportunities to do so, as one thing I love to do is order pizza and have it delivered to my house. When the delivery person rings my doorbell, I instantly morph into one of Pavlov’s dogs, salivating to the sound that signals the arrival of the cheesy, circular glory. It smells like celebration, as I love to rejoice a happy occasion by calling Papa John’s for my favorite food. It tastes like comfort, since having pizza delivered to my quiet home is a way for me to unwind. It looks like self-sufficiency, because when I was young, ordering pizza made me feel grown-up, and it still provides that satisfaction for my child at heart. Accepting those warm cardboard boxes is second nature to me, but I will always love ordering pizza because of the way eight slices of something so ordinary are able to evoke feelings of independence, consolation, and joy.

[ 打印 ]
閱讀 ()評論 (0)
評論
目前還沒有任何評論
登錄後才可評論.