盧岩回憶錄
本人的回憶錄，宗教文化
目錄 Contents：5.0 前言 Preface；5.1 性格測試 Personality Test；5.2 在集市打架 Fighting at Market；5.3 威儀路 Majesty Road；5.4 劉團長其人 Troupe Leader Liu；5.5 多重性格 Multiple Personalities；5.6 特殊的新政策 Special New Policy
5.0 前言 Preface
1991年秋，我入學東北大學遼寧分校工民建專業。21歲，我才上末等學校的大專，看到同學們的流氓習氣，我感到恥辱和失望，卻又不得不接受我就是這類混混的現實。我的內心淒涼，終日悶悶不樂，感覺自己生活得像一隻老鼠，躲在陰暗裏，見不得人。
In the fall of 1991, I enrolled in the Liaoning Branch of Northeastern University, majoring in civil engineering. At 21 years old, I just went to the lowest level of the school's junior college. Seeing the hooliganism of my classmates, I felt shame and disappointment but had to accept the reality that I was this kind of punk. My heart is bleak, moping all day long, feels like living like a rat, hiding in the shadows, timid to be seen by people.
5.0-1
我想去梁伯在撫順的家看看，向我媽詢問他的地址。媽媽愣住了，過了一會兒，說：“他半年前就過世了，你那時身體不好，怕影響你學習就沒告訴你。”我呆住了，回憶起了前文4.10節，他那是在死前向我告別。
媽媽說：“他那次回來就與以往不同，說有些話要對你說，有些事要示範給你看，說你將來用得著。你那時有病，我和你爸都不同意他去黑山看你。他就同意讓你爸代替他說給你聽，表演給你看。這倆人就在這屋裏一直排練到半夜。可第二天，他又改主意了，對你爸不放心，要自己給你表演，真生氣了！你爸爸就送他去你那裏了！他對你說的話，和表演的事（參見4.10節《遺囑》），你不都記住了嗎！？”
I wanted to visit Uncle Liang’s home in Fushun and ask my mother for his address. My mother was stunned, and after a while, she said: "He passed away half a year ago. You were in poor health at the time, so I didn't tell you for fear of affecting your studies." I was stunned, and recalled the previous section 4.10, what he was saying goodbye to me before he dies.
Mom said: "He came back differently that time, saying that he had something to say to you, something to demonstrate to you, saying that you would need it in the future. You were sick at the time, and neither your father nor I agreed that he should visit you in Black Mountain. So, he agreed to let your father speak to you and show you instead. The two of them rehearsed in this house until midnight. But the next day, he changed his mind and got really mad at your dad for wanting to perform for you by himself! So, your dad sent him to your place! Don't you remember everything (see section 4.10 Wills) he said to you, and the performance!?"
我感覺胸部以上都很難受，平淡地說：“我記得。”
媽媽說：“我都看出來了，你和他的感情深，想哭就哭吧！因為這事哭，不丟臉；哭出來就好了。”
我哭了之後，的確感覺好多了。
I felt very uncomfortable from the chest up and said flatly: "I remember."
Mom said: "I can see it all, you're deeply attached to him; cry if you want to! There's no shame in crying because of it; just cry it out."
I did feel better after crying.
5.0-2
一天傍晚，我和同學一起去圖書館上晚自習。當我們走到建築館樓前時，我們看見很遠的西麵，在路上有一群人在跳舞，都是二十左右歲的男青年，手拉手地圍成一個圈兒，一邊圍著他們自己的圈兒跑跳，一邊笑著，喊著 “笑一笑” 等口號。每當碰見走路的人，他們就把行人套在圈兒裏，請求行人和他們一起蹦跳。我們看著他們跑近了，發現他們實際上有很多夥兒人，圍著每一個路過的人跳舞，也包括我和我的同學。
One evening, I went to the library with my classmates for an evening study session. As we walked to the front of the building of the Architecture Hall, we saw far to the west, on the road, a group of people dancing, all young men in their twenties, holding hands in a circle, running, and jumping around their own circle while laughing and shouting slogans such as "Smile." Whenever they bumped into someone walking, they lassoed the pedestrian into the circle and begged them to jump with them. As we watched them run closer, we realized that they actually had a lot of gangs dancing around everyone who passed by, including me and my classmates.
他們過去了。我和同學們互相問：“這是怎麽回事兒？”沒人知道。車誌剛說：“我看就是一群瘋子在作怪！” 我說：“像是電影電視裏巫術的聚魂，或者除魔儀式。”但是，我感覺這是上帝最喜歡的宇宙舞（如插圖5.0），沈陽還有人研究神！他們的舞蹈和氣氛具有強烈的感染力，讓我想起了少年時代類似的遊戲情景，很高興。事後，我時常回憶起這件事，每次都讓我感覺欣慰和迷惑：沈陽有人研究上帝！
They went over. My classmates and I asked each other: "What's going on?" No one knew. Zhigang Che said: "I think it's just a bunch of crazy people acting up!" I said: "It's like a witchcraft gathering souls in movies and TV, or a demon removal ritual." However, I feel that this is God's favorite cosmic dance, and there are people in Shenyang who study God! Their dance and atmosphere were so infectious that they reminded me of similar playful scenarios from my teenage years with great delight. Afterwards, I recalled this event from time to time, and each time I felt relieved and perplexed: there are people in Shenyang who study God!
注5，從我入學初中、高中、大學、研究生時期，都有怪事發生來判斷；這是劉團長為了慶祝我上大學而舉行的大街舞會。
Annotation 5.0, judging from the facts that strange affairs happened to me during my enrollment in middle school, high school, college, and graduate school; this was a street dance held by Troupe Leader Liu to celebrate my attendance at college.
5.1 性格測試 Personality Test
十一月的一天，在下課後回宿舍的路上，我和同鄉女同學走在一起。這時，一個90+公斤重量級，2米高，像是拳擊運動員似的，現實生活中極少見的年輕壯男，從我們對麵走了過來。我就讓路，走得和女朋友很近很近，可是她一點兒也不讓路，我推她像是推在牆上似的。
那個走反路的壯漢過去了；這位女朋友卻生氣地大叫著譏諷那個壯漢，要去打他。我拉她回來，生氣地問她：“你那邊有地方，你就不給我讓點兒路”。
女朋友說：“不是我有性格，他走反路，他讓路才對！是你太窩囊了；你怕什麽呀！”
One day in November, on the way back to the dormitory after class, I walked with a female classmate from my hometown. At that moment, a 90+kg heavyweight, 2m tall, like a boxer, a young strong man rarely seen in real life, came facing us. I gave way and walked very, very close to my girlfriend, but she didn't give way at all, I pushed her like I was pushing against a wall.
The strong man who went opposite direction of the way has passed; The girlfriend yelled angrily and ridiculed the strong man and was going to beat him. I pulled her back and angrily asked her, "You have a place over there, so you won't give me some way."
The girlfriend said: "It's not that I have a character, he goes the wrong way, he should give way! It's you who are too cowardly; what are you afraid of!"
我聽了很尷尬，說：“我是有點兒窩囊！也是我的本能，就像動物似的：體弱的遇到比它強壯的，就自覺地避開了。”
沉默了一會兒之後，她說：“我明白了，你受氣都受習慣了。這是你的性格。你怎麽和他結怨了呢？”
我回答：“我不認識他。”
她問：“你再想一想，你沒見過他？”
I was embarrassed to hear it and said: "I am a bit of a wimp! It's also my instinct, like an animal: the weak one meets the stronger than it and unconsciously avoids it."
After a moment's silence, she said: "I see, you're used to being bullied. This is your personality. How did you come to bear a grudge against him?"
I replied: "I don't know him."
She asked: "Think again, you haven't seen him?"
我感覺很難為情，笑著說：“就剛才那位，一見不忘；前幾天，我見過他一次。那是在機電管前麵花園裏的空地上，又沒別人，我走出花園，他走進花園，我們倆相向而行。我向左躲，他向右；我向右躲，恰巧他也向左，結果，他比我高一頭，我撞在他的胸膛上了。”
Feeling embarrassed, I smiled and said: "Just moment ago that one, one sight not forgetting; a few days ago, I met him once. It was in the open space in the garden in front of the Electrical and Mechanical Hall, and there was no one else, I walked out of the garden, he walked into the garden, we both walked towards each other. I dodged to the left, and he to his right; I dodged to the right, and it so happened that he also went to his left, as a result, he is a head taller than me, I bumped into his chest."
女朋友問：“那次，你們倆吵起來了？”
我回答：“沒有，互相道歉，就笑著散了。”
女朋友說：“剛才的事兒不對！在離他30多米遠的時候，我就看出來了：他是瞄著你過來的。要不是最後他閃了一下，他就擦撞上你了。你們倆的身量比起來，你可能被他撞得趔趄出去3、4米遠。我還以為他要找你麻煩呢！我都準備好動手了。”
Girlfriend asked: "That time, you two got into a fight?"
I replied: "No, apologized to each other and broke up laughing."
Girlfriend said: "Something is not right just now! I saw him when he was more than 30 meters away from us: he was aiming at you to come. If he hadn't dodged a little bit at the end, he would have collided you on waist side. Comparing the two of you, you could have stumbled 3 or 4 meters away from him. I thought he was coming to revenge you! Ready to knock him down."
注5.1 小心駛得萬年船 Cautiousness Navigates Ten-Thousand-Year Ship
當時我不知道，這個前女友是傳統摔跤世家出身，從小跟隨父母在市場上做生意，與賊打架。這時她的摔跤技能相當於體育學院摔跤專業本科畢業，所以她說的上麵的話都是真實的。我對此事總是迷惑不解，直到2014年，我寫回憶錄，知道了那是劉團長在測試我的性格。
Unbeknownst to me at the time, this ex-girlfriend came from a traditional wrestling family and grew up following her parents to do business at marketplace and fighting thieves. At this point her wrestling skills were equivalent to a bachelor's degree in wrestling major of Sports Academy, so what she said above was true. I was always confused about this until 2014, when I was writing my memoirs and learned that it was Troupe Leader Liu testing my personality.
我的性格特質和古墨西哥的墨西哥（亦作特拉洛克，約公元1325年，如圖5.1-2至14，是墨西哥帝國的開國皇帝和雨神）一樣。圖2是驚慌失措的墨西哥，展示了他所有的性格特質，左邊中間顯示了他膽小如鼠。圖3顯示他成年後做事總是謹小慎微，還是膽小如鼠。圖4至7顯示他幼年患了嬰幼兒神經發育失調症，不但延誤了他的智力發展，還使他自幼肢體運動不協調；長大後他具有多重性格（見圖12），還偶爾表現出傻相（見圖11）。
My personality traits are the same as those of Mexico of ancient Mexico (also known as Tlaloc, c. 1325 C.E., as in Figures 5.1-2 through 14, the founding emperor of the Mexican empire and God of rain). Figure 2 shows a panicked Mexico, demonstrating all his traits, with the center left showing him as timid as a mouse. Figure 3 shows him as an adult always doing things carefully, still timid as a mouse. Figures 4 through 7 show that he suffered from infantile neurodevelopmental disorder in his early childhood, which not only delayed his intellectual development but also caused him to have uncoordinated body movements from an early age; as an adult, he had multiple personalities (see Figure 12), and he also showed occasional silly looks (see Figure 11).
在《墨西哥法典》中，墨西哥自幼身穿盔甲（如圖9），那盔甲是什麽呢？筆者我認為那就是他四十歲之後的“三千威儀八萬四千細行” （參見16.2節），但他年青時並不完全具備。所以，那盔甲一部分是他修習禪定得來的戒律（參見第12章《禪》），還有一部分是他由於膽小如鼠而形成的結界（參見6.6節《結界》）。如圖10所示，那些膽子大的，不怕死的就死了，而那隻老鼠卻收到了很多靈丹，獨得真傳。
In the Mexican Codex, Mexico is shown as wearing armor (Figure 9) since childhood, what is that armor? I believe that it was the "3,000 Majesties 84,000 Enchantments” (cf. 16.2), that he had after he was forty years old, but he did not have all of them when he was young. So that armor is partly the precepts he got from practicing meditation (cf. Chapter 12 Meditation), and partly the Tie Boundaries (cf. Section 6.6 Tie Boundary) formed due to his timidity. As shown in Figure 10, those who were bold and unafraid of death died, while the rat received many Spiritual Elixirs and was uniquely gained the real teachings.
讀者可能會問，他這樣懦弱，青鬆石王子怎麽會選他做教子，把王位傳給他呢？圖13顯示當環境逼迫，墨西哥具有多重性格，會轉變成為勇敢的人。圖14顯示，墨西哥是個紅臉漢子，能夠背負壓力，忠誠地繼續舍利王未完成的事業。
The reader may ask how Turquoise Prince could have chosen him as his godson and passed the throne to him when he was such a coward? Figure 13 shows that when push comes to shove, Mexico has multiple personalities that transform into courageous men. Figure 14 shows that Mexico is a red-faced man, able to carry the pressure and faithfully continue Turquoise Prince's unfinished business.
5.2 在集市打架 Fight at Marketplace
注5.2-1，打架能改善我的性格？後文9.3節和9.5節，劉團長和梭羅都用了這個方法來為我改善性格。
The girlfriend in the previous subsection, found out that my personality is too timid, thought that this personality to a man is not right. She asked her father how to change my trait of coward? Her father said that other methods are less effective and slow, the simplest and most effective way is to fight. Her father asked her to help me fight, saying that if I fought and won twice, my personality would change dramatically.
Annotation 5.2-1, Can fight improve my personality? Later, in section 9.3 and 9.5, both Troupe Leader Liu and Sal Fasullo used this method to improve my personality for me.
這個前女朋友不喜歡逛商場，喜歡逛農貿市場。一次，剛下完小雨，我們倆來到了東北大學和太原街之間的一個街道集市。接近集市時，她就驚訝地說：“哎呀！我還真沒發現，你這麽引人注目，人們都看你！我還以為我是最吸引人看的呢！連你的三分之一都比不上！” 我向四周看，沒發現一個人看我，感覺奇怪：“哪裏有人看我！”
This ex-girlfriend doesn't like shopping at malls, she likes farmers markets. Once, just after a light rain, we both came to a street fair between Northeastern University and Taiyuan Street. When we were approaching the market, she was surprised and said: "Oops! I hadn't realized that you were so outstanding that people are looking at you! I thought I was the most attractive to look at! Not even a third of you!" I looked around and didn't notice a single person looking at me, feeling strange, "Where is anyone looking at me!"
注5.2-2，我們遇上了正在作案的賊群，被我的肉眼通（參見第3章肉眼通）給攪亂了。後來，1994年冬，我和後文（6.4至6.10節）的賊群說起了本小節的事。他們解釋說：“這我們懂，他們（本文這群賊）和我們一樣！你剛來我們這裏時，我們也都感覺奇怪：怎麽這個人（作者我）對我們的事都知道，還研究我們！小盧你不知道，我們做事是有計劃的，而且計劃隻有我們幾個領導知道。你一來，我們感覺我們的計劃被泄露了！”
Annotation 5.2-2, we encountered a swarm of thieves in the act of committing a crime, which was disturbed by my Flesh Eye Through (cf. Chap. 3 on Flesh Eye Through). Later, in the winter of 1994, I spoke to the group of thieves in the latter (sections 6.4 through 6.10) about this subsection. They explained, "This we understand, they (this group of thieves in this article) are just like us! When you first came to us, we all felt strange too: how come this man (the author me) knows all about us and studies us! Little Luyan you do not know, we do things with a plan, and the plan is only a few of our leaders know. As soon as you came, we felt that our plan had been leaked!"
我們倆逛了一會兒後，幾個人並排吵嚷著迎麵走了過來，其中一個人推了我一下。女朋友就不讓他們了，追過去吵。我拉她回來，說：“你要幹什麽！這兒不是人多麽！碰一下，不是很正常嘛！”
她說：“什麽正常！他們盯著你看了半天了！看就看唄！還摸！我怎麽感覺這麽生氣呢！”
我還在開玩笑說，“女的摸我，你生氣還行！男的摸一下有什麽關係！”並沒有覺察到那幾個人回來了，正站在我們旁邊。一個人說：“就是！這個母老虎也太厲害了！”
After the two of us had been strolling around for a while, several guys came up to us side by side arguing, and one of them pushed me. My girlfriend just wouldn't let them and went after them to argue. I pulled her back and said: "What are you doing! It's crowded here! It's normal to touch each other!"
She said: "What's normal? They've been looked at you staringly for long time already! Looking is all right! Not fumbling! I feel so angry!"
I'm still joking, "It's okay for you to get mad when a woman touches me! What does it matter if a guy touches me!" Not realizing that the guys were back and standing right next to us. One said, "That's it! This tigress is too stern!"
女朋友立刻急了，追了過去。那幫人是真怕她呀！幾個人往不同的方向跑，要被追上時，那個人就故意摔倒了，滾到一邊去，弄得滿身是泥。我趕緊跑過去，拉她走，說：“你看你，罵兩聲就行了！弄得人家滿身泥。”
女朋友立刻就說：“他自己故意摔倒的，和我沒關係！”
我說：“怎麽和你沒關係！你不追他，他還能。。。”
The girlfriend immediately got irritated and chased after them. The guys were really scared of her! Several people ran in different directions, to be caught up, the person deliberately fell, rolled to the side, and got covered with mud. I rushed over and pulled her away, saying: "Look at you, just several criticizing! Getting people covered in mud."
My girlfriend immediately said: "He fell down on purpose; it has nothing to do with me!"
I said: "How does it have nothing to do with you! You don't chase him, he still can..."
又有一個賊撩試她，她就又追過去了。這時，一個過路人甲問我：“你是什麽人？幹什麽來了？”
我當時根本不懂，就如實說。女朋友看見了，回來了，朝著那個人就罵： “你往他跟前湊合啥！你以為我不知道你跟他們是一夥兒的！”
路人甲往後閃，一邊對我說：“你看這隻母老虎，誰說跟誰來！”
女朋友又急了：“你敢罵我！”，就又追過去了。”
Another thief tried to tease her, and she went to chase him again. At this time, a passerby A asked me: "Who are you? What are you doing here?"
I didn’t understand it at all, so I told him factually. My girlfriend saw it, came back, and scolded the man: "Why are you going to get in front of him! Do you think I don't know that you are in the same group with them!"
Passerby A dodged back, while saying to me: "Look at this tigress, whoever said come with who!"
My girlfriend again being irritated: "You dare to call me Tigress!”, then went to beat him."
我想拉她，她朝我一揚手，實際她沒碰到我。我還在逗她玩呢，假裝往後小步退。結果，沒退幾步，我就真的要滑倒了。在我仰麵倒地之前，看見女朋友離我十幾米遠，要抓路人甲。可是，在我身體著地前，被她（女朋友）給抓住了。我聽見有人喊：“停！別打了！”
她像是抓著一隻雞似的抓著我的左臂。我的身體傾斜著到了接近地麵，可對她好像我的身體沒有重量，我驚呆了！我們倆定在了那裏，如同時間停止了一樣。她臉色慘白，問我：“疼不疼？”我回答：“沒摔著，疼什麽！”
I tried to pull her, and she raised her hand at me. I was not touched by her, but I was still playing with her, pretending to take small steps backward. As a result, within a few steps, I was literally about to slip and fall. Before I was falling on my back, I saw her a dozen meters away from me, about to grab the Passerby A. However, she (girlfriend) caught me before my body hit the ground. I heard someone yelling: "Stop! Stop fighting!"
She grabbed my left arm like I was a chicken. I was stunned as my body tilted to near the ground, but to her it was as if my body had no weight! We were both fixed there as if time had stopped. She turned pale and asked me: "Does it hurt?" I replied: "I didn't fall onto the ground, what hurts!"
她拉我起來後，我感覺身體輕飄飄的，就去路人甲那裏去找她（女朋友）了，到處找她。人們見了我就躲開了，我感覺這時我真的會殺人（注5.2-3，我是個多重性格的人，如圖5.2-2至6；這時性格變了）。當然我找不到她。人們在問：他是在找誰呢？
女朋友跟著我問。我回答：“我好像是在找你呢！你在那兒沒了！消失了！”
她說：“我不就在這裏嗎！”
After she pulled me up, I felt light and went to the Passerby A to look for her (my girlfriend), looking for her everywhere. People around avoided me when they saw me, and I felt like I would literally kill someone at this point (Annotation 5.2-3, I am a multiple personality, as in Figures 5.2-2 through 6; this is when the personality changes). Of course, I couldn't find her. People around were asking, “what is he looking for?”
My girlfriend asked after me. I replied, "I think I was looking for you! You're not there anymore! Gone!"
She said: "I'm not right here!"
這時路人甲急衝衝地過來了，嚴肅地對我女朋友說：“他說得對，我才想起來。” 然後對我說：“剛才是我跟你說話來的。她過來就要抓我。她的速度可快了，幾步就把我給追上了。她張牙舞爪地就要抓我，可把我嚇壞了。不知咋回事，她一回頭，看見你仰麵朝天，要摔倒了。她嗖一下，就跑到你那兒，像是接球似的，把你給抓住了。當時，我就像你現在似的，看呆了，這麽長時間我才明白過來。”
我不相信路人甲所說的，“她轉身，還跑十幾米，地上還滑，沒人能跑那麽快！”我繼續找人。女朋友對我說：“那我現在就站在這裏呀！”
At that moment Passerby A came rushing over and said to my girlfriend in all seriousness: "He's right, I just remembered." And then said to me: "I was the one who came talking to you earlier. She came over and was about to grab me. She was so fast that she caught up with me in a few steps. She was about to grab me with her claws, I was so scared. Somehow, she turned around and saw you falling back facing sky, about to hit the ground. In a whoosh, she ran to you and caught you like a ball. At the time, I looked as dumbfounded as you are now, and it took me a long time to realize it."
I don't believe what Passerby A said, “She turned around and ran more than 10 meters to catch me; the ground is still slippery, none can act that fast!” I continued to look for her. My girlfriend said to me: "Then, look! I am standing right here now!"
5.2-2 為什麽不打了？ Why Did the Fight Stop?
許多人過來看熱鬧，有人問，“誰喊的：住手，別打了？” 路人甲回答：“我喊的！” 有人問：“那時，你都懵了！現在人都招呼來了，還打不打啦？”
有人說：“不打了！這位公子碰不得！”
路人甲過來問我：“你的胳臂不疼嗎？”
我回答：“沒感覺！我的胳臂疼什麽！”
Many people came over to see what was going on, and someone asked, "Who shouted, Stop, stop fighting?" Passerby A replied, "I did!" Someone asked, "At that time, you were confused! Now that people are here, are we going to continue the fight?"
Someone said: "No more fighting! This Public Prince can't be touched!"
Passerby A came over and asked me: "Doesn't your arm hurt?"
I replied: "I don't feel anything! What does my arm hurt!?"
女朋友回答：“我問過了，他說不疼！”
路人甲回答她：“你抓他，他不疼可不對！脫衣服看看，用不用去醫院？”
人群裏有人問，“發生什麽事了？他是公安局長的侄子嗎？”
有人回答：“我們什麽時候怕過他公安局長！？這位不行，他若是在咱的地盤上出點兒啥事，人家來幾個人，把咱們都整死，一個也跑不了（注4）！”
My girlfriend replied: "I asked him, he said it doesn't hurt!"
Passerby A replied: "It's not right that he doesn't feel pain when you grabbed him! Take off your clothes and see if you need to go to the hospital."
Someone in the crowd asked: "What happened? Is he the nephew of the police chief?"
Someone replied: "When did we afraid of the police chief!? This one can't be touched. If something happens to him on our territory, several people will come and kill us all, none can escape (note 4)!"
有人說：“他們倆都是旁邊東北大學新來的學生！”
有人回答：“就這學生才可怕呢！什麽人都有！”
我女朋友也讓我脫衣服，要看我剛才被她抓過的部位（注5）。
Someone said: "They are both new students from Northeastern University next door!"
Someone replied: "Students are truly fearsome! Any people they have!"
My girlfriend also asked me to take off my clothes to see the part of me that she had just grabbed (Annotation 5).
注5.2-4，本小節的事可以清楚地解釋4.7節《靈魂轉世的故事》中的那個年輕人為什麽被人打死了。據說，這種靈魂轉世的下輩子被打死之後，上輩子像似瘋了一樣地報複，會殺很多人。
注5.2-5，當時我不懂，她的力量很大，人們懷疑我被她給抓傷了。他們摔跤運動員的基本要求，女子雙手可以抓起125Kg的重物，扔出去.
Annotation 5.2-4, The events of this subsection clearly explain why the young man in section 4.7, Story of Soul Reincarnation, was beaten to death. It is said that after such souls reincarnated in their next life are killed, they retaliate in their last life as if they were insane and kill many people.
Annotation 5.2-5, I didn’t understand at the time that she was very powerful, and people suspected that I was injured by her grabbing. Their basic requirements for wrestlers are that women must be able to grab and throw 125Kg weights with both hands.
5.2-3 因為我沒麵子 Because I Have No Face
在回東北大學的路上，我跟女朋友生氣了：“你老實點兒行不行？這才出來幾個小時，你就打架五六次了！”
女朋友回答：“這些打架都是因為你，你什麽時候得罪那麽多人！？”
我回答：“我才來沈陽兩個月，根本沒機會得罪他們！是你得罪了他們！到這兒就說那個市場是你的！”
她直愣愣地看著我：“怎麽這麽奇怪呢！他們那麽欺負你，你就真的一點兒也不生氣！？”
On the way back to Northeastern University, I got angry with my girlfriend: "Can you behave yourself a bit more! It's only been a few hours and you've gotten into five or six fights!"
My girlfriend replied: "All these fights are because of you. When did you offend so many people?"
I replied: "I've only been in Shenyang for two months; I didn't have a chance to offend them! It was you who offended them! Come here and say that the market is yours!"
She looked straight at me: "Why is that so strange! They bullied you so much, and you really didn't get angry at all!"
後來，她又問她爸爸。她爸爸和朋友們議論了半天，才有結論。說打架實際上都是因為麵子。因為我盧岩沒麵子，所以不生氣，也不打架。這種情況下，打架對改變我的性格不起作用。她爸爸也給我留了點麵子，說我沒麵子的原因是因為我一直都是學生。學生的流動性大，所以我沒麵子。等將來生活固定了，有了家和孩子，在一個地方生活時間長了，我的麵子就會長出來了。
Later, she asked her dad. Her dad and his friends talked about it for half a day before concluding. Said the fights are all because of face. Because I, Luyan, have no face, I don't get angry or fight. In this case, fighting doesn't work to change my personality. Her father also gave me some face, saying that the reason I have no face is because I've always been a student. Students are very mobile, so I have no face. In the future, when my life is fixed, when I have a home and children, and live in one place for a long time, my face will grow out.
5.3 威儀路 Majesty Road
大舅聽了後，生氣地說：“你才傻呐！盧岩是農村來的，家裏的大人不懂這個。你這個當姐姐的應該好好教導，你抱怨什麽！”
Yushan Wang is my uncle. His daughter Gang Wang worked at the graduate school of Northeastern University. When I first enrolled in the Liaoning branch, she introduced me to Chao Teng, the branch's counselor; at the time, I acted lazily and was reluctant to know new people. Sister Gang Wang was angry about this, and chattered about it at home, saying that I was like a fool, and didn't know to turn around and walk a few steps forward, with a face full of unwillingness to people.
After hearing that, Uncle Yushan Wang said angrily: "You're the one who's stupid! Luyan is from the countryside, the adults in the family don't understand this. You as a sister should teach it well, what are you complaining about!"
王剛走到我跟前說：“聽見沒！？人家說我不夠資格教，你得趕快向你大舅請教！耽誤了大事可不得了！”
舅媽大笑著說：“正是！我看這個任務就交給你這個當舅舅的了！”
Sister Gang Wang walked up to me and said: "Heard that! People say I'm not qualified enough to teach, you must quickly ask your great uncle for advice! It's a big deal if you delay the great affair!"
Auntie smiled broadly and said: "Exactly! I think this task is to you as an uncle!"
5.3-2
一天，大舅對大舅媽說：“我都觀察盧岩這幾個月了，他隨它們老盧家人，老實！他們老盧家人都這樣兒。” 又對我說：“你的眼睛裏沒壞人（注1）。我也是個老實人，所以我理解你。你大姐說的社會上那套，對你不適用。你做事應該從本性出發，直來直去，正而八經地做事。現代社會流行現用人，現交。直來直去，正正經經的，在社會上不受歡迎；但從長遠來看，這種直來直去的做事方法也不差，一樣可以混得不錯。”
One day, Uncle Wang said to aunt: "I've been observing Luyan for several months now, he's just like their old Lu family, honest! The old Lu family are all like that." Then he said to me: "There are no bad people in your eyes (annotation 1). I'm also an honest person, so I understand you. What your elder sister Gang Wang said social etiquette doesn't apply to you. You should do things based on your nature, go straight, and do things upright. In modern society, it is popular to use people now and make friends now. Being straight and formal is not popular in society; but in the long run, this straight and formal way of doing affairs is not bad, and you can get along just as well."
注5.3-1，我小時候，我爸爸也這麽說我。後文8.6節我的那位室友，來自國務院的警察也這麽說我。他說，這世界上 “好人” 可不多，也許能有五、六個；能認識你是我的榮幸。再後文，9. 5節的意大利人梭欏也說我是好人。他還說， “好人（Good Man）的眼裏沒壞人，可能全世界才有幾十個。” 我是從梭欏知道英語中的 “Good Man” 一詞的。
Annotation 5.3-1, when I was a child, my father said the same about me. My roommate, a police officer from the State Council, also said the same thing about me in Section 8.6 below. He said that there are not many "good people" in this world, maybe five or six; it is my honor to know you. Later in the text, the Italian Sal Fasullo in Section 9.5 also said that I am a goodman. He also said, "There is no bad people in the eyes of a goodman. There may be only a few dozen in the world." I learned the word "Goodman" in English from Sal Fasullo.
5.3-3
大舅說：“我年輕時，剛剛步入社會，也不懂。那時候，剛解放（1950年代），我剛從農村來沈陽。東北大學剛建校，我在夥食科當大師傅（廚師，副科長）。我們科長老劉（即劉團長）看我們不注重接人待物，沒事時，就訓練我們這個。人的模樣好看賴看咱不說，那老劉利索，舉止有度，看了讓人賞心悅目。”
說著，他開始給我表演，接人待物。遇見了認識的人，主動向前走幾步，熱情地握手，抖動五六次。然後，後退一兩步，站直。兩手下放到褲線處，手指並攏（要有動作）。態度莊重。再由莊嚴的表情變成笑臉，才開始說話，等等。
Uncle said: “When I was young, just entered society and didn't understand. At that time, just after liberation (1950s), I had just come to Shenyang from the countryside. Northeastern University had just been established, and I was working as a master chef (cook, deputy section chief) in the catering section. Our section chief Liu (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) saw us do not pay attention to the reception of people, when nothing else, would train us this. The appearance of a person is good-looking or ugly, let's not talk about it. That old Liu is neat, with a demeanor, is pleasing to the eyes.”
As he spoke, he began to put on a show for me, how to treat people and things. When meeting someone you know, taking the initiative to walk a few steps forward, shaking hands warmly, and shaking your hand five or six times. Then, taking a step or two back and standing up straight. Place your hands down to the line of your trousers and keep your fingers together (to make the moves). Solemn attitude. Then he changed from a solemn expression to a smiling face, after that began to speak, and so on.
大舅說：“人家老劉（即劉團長）在大街上，離30、50米遠看見了認識的人，就這樣（給我表演）。人家的朋友就多，混得開！盧岩，你啥樣（大舅展示我的行為表情，如圖5.3.2-1）。盧岩！人家都到你跟前了，你還待答不禮的，慢慢騰騰地，張著嘴，滿臉無知！人家一看，這是啥人？傻！”
Uncle said: "The man Old Liu (i.e. Troupe Leader Liu) in the street, 30, 50 meters away, saw people he knows; just like this (showing me). He has a lot of friends, and with a good fame! Luyan, what do you look like (Uncle showed my behavioral expression; see fig. 5.3.2-1). Lu Yan! People are in front of you, but you are still waiting to answer, ignoring their presence, slow, with your mouth open, full of ignorance! People look at you, "What kind of person is this? Stupid!"
大舅說：“人家老劉，半個小時，兩個小時就能交一個朋友！你，盧岩！人家看見，傻！不禮你！在一個地方時間長了，呃！盧岩這人不傻呀！但是，在人家的頭腦裏，以前你是傻子！那第一印象可不好改變啊！不過時間長了，它也能變，那得需要半年。前後要半年時間，人家才對待你像個正常的人：盧岩不傻，是個老實人，挺好的。盧岩呐！人一輩子有幾個半年！？人家別人用三、五分鍾，十天半個月交一個朋友；你用半年交一個。你說！你這輩子能在什麽水平上混！？”
Uncle said: "The Old Liu, can make a friend in half an hour, two hours! You, Luyan! People see, silly! Ignoring you! Having been in the same place for a long time! Ahaa! Luyan is not stupid! But in people's minds, you used to be stupid! That first impression can't be easily changed! But it can change over time. It takes half a year. It takes half a year before they treat you like a normal person: Luyan is not stupid, he's an honest man, he's good. Luyan! How many halves a year is there in a person's life? Other people use three or five minutes, ten days and half a month to make a friend; you use half a year to make a friend. Tell me! At what level can you live in your life!?"
大舅媽看我被訓得兩眼含淚，對大舅說：“那你給盧岩講，講講！就好好說唄！你幹嘛還損損噠噠地呀！”
大舅對大舅媽大叫：“你要講，你就講！你不講！我講，你就別插嘴！”又跺腳對大舅媽說：“我是想讓他記住！他這一輩子都給我牢牢地記住！”
Seeing that I was admonished with tears in my eyes, Aunt said to Uncle: "Then you tell Luyan, tell him! Just say it properly! Why are you still being so disparaging?"
Uncle yelled at Aunt: "If you want to tell him, you tell him! If you don't! I talk, so you don't interrupt!" Then he stomped his foot and said to aunt: "I want him to remember! I want him to remember it for the rest of his life!"
5.3-4
大舅說：“我特別捉摸你這事兒很長時間了！總結出一套適合你接人待物的方式。人家老劉那套你學不來！因為你不是那種性格。你和我的性格一樣，我也是老實人。你看老劉那套我模仿得好，我以前經常練習，但我這輩子一次也沒用上過！”
大舅說：“人家老劉的交際圈50米遠；盧岩，你應該努力把握住5米的範圍。人家都到你跟前了，你不能不搭理人家呀！” 說著，大舅就開始講他給我簡化了的見麵禮節。
Uncle said: "I've been trying to figure you out for a long time! Summarized a set of manners that are suitable for you to treat with people. You can't learn from Old Liu's manner! Because you are not that kind of personality. You and I have the same personality, I am also honest. You see Old Liu's set of manners I imitate well, I used to practice a lot, but I have never used it once in my life!"
Uncle said: "The Old Liu's social circle is 50 meters away; Luyan, you should try to grasp the 5-meter range. People are in front of you, you should not ignore them ah!" Uncle began to talk about the meeting etiquette that he had simplified for me.
大舅說：“我發現了，你不愛笑。你不喜歡笑的原因是你的牙齒顏色有些黃。盧岩！那你這習慣得引起多少誤會呀！這習慣一定得改。牙齒不好，你得對著鏡子，練出你的一套笑臉來。不改！你這輩子就可能因為你的牙齒有點兒顏色給耽誤了。這哪兒行啊！”
大舅說：“盧岩！別人用半小時，兩小時交個朋友；而你需要半年才能和幾個人混熟了。那你這輩子能混成個啥樣兒？很明顯，這不行！”
大舅又說：“盧岩！人生一輩子，就靠這個（注2）！你看！” 說著，他又給我示範他給我設計的待人接物的舉止言談。
Uncle said: "I found out that you don't like to smile. The reason you don't like to smile is that your teeth are a little yellow in color. Luyan! Then how many misunderstandings will you cause with this habit! This habit must be changed. With bad teeth, you must look in the mirror and practice your set of smiles. If you don't change it! Your whole life could be ruined because of the color of your teeth. That's not right!"
Uncle said, "Luyan! Others spend half an hour or two hours to make a friend; but you need half a year to get acquainted with a few people. So, what can you be like in this life? Obviously, this is not going to work!”
Uncle added, "Luyan! A lifetime of a life depends on this (annotation 2)! Look!" Saying this, he again demonstrated to me the mannerisms he had designed for me in dealing with people.
注5.3-2，什麽是威儀路？佛教中解釋威儀的本義是細密整齊的格式，並稱行住坐臥為四威儀。具足戒是心神，即無意識，之所履，故稱威儀路。男人的具足戒，亦作黃金甲（如圖5.3.3-2是古墨西哥的特拉洛克身著黃金甲），有八萬四千之數，是從四威儀開始計算的（參見16.2節）。圖3是埃及夏娃身著女戒，亦作五百威儀十萬八千魅力。
Annotation 5.3-2, What is the Majesty Road? Buddhism explains Majesty as neat fine pattern, and calls walking, standing, sitting, and lying as four Majesties. Full Precepts, aka. Golden Armor (see fig. 5.3.3-2 Tlaloc in Golden Armor) are heart God (i.e., God-sense, unconsciousness) moving on, therefore are called Majesty Roads. Full precepts are also known as 3,000 majesties 84,000 enchantments, which is calculated out from the four Majesties (cf. Section 16.2). Fig. 3 is Egyptian Eve wearing Golden Armor, aka. 500 majesties 108,000 charms.
那麽，神識是如何行走於行住坐臥的？如插圖5.3.3-1中的上圖A和B的顏色是一樣的，但看起來不一樣；下圖，A和B被聯係在了一起，觀眾看到的就是A和B的顏色相同。這是無意識（即心神）采用了不同的默認認知模版造成的錯覺。另外參見7.12節《百變神通》，劉團長在我麵前走來走去；隨後我回憶時，感覺他是一群不同年齡的人。筆者我認為那就是我的無意識對他采用了多個不同的默認認知模板造成的錯覺。
王玉山大舅說，“人一輩子就靠這個”，是真的嗎？筆者我現在認為是真的，在佛教中，學佛就是學法，而法就是具足戒，亦作最勝真如，亦作戒渡，亦作人神契約。
So, how does God-sense migrate on the Majesty Roads? As in Illustration 5.3.3-1 in the top picture A and B are the same color but look different; in the bottom picture, A and B are linked together and the viewer sees that A and B are the same color. This is an illusion caused by the unconscious (i.e., God-sense) adopting a different default template of cognition. See also section 7.12, "Hundred Godly Transformations", where Troupe Leader Liu walked around in front of me, and then when I recalled it, I felt that he was a group of people of different ages. Author, I think that was an illusion caused by my unconsciousness (anciently God-sense) adopting multiple different default templates of cognition for him.
Uncle Yushan Wang said, "A human's whole life depends on this", is it true? I now think it is true. In Buddhism, to study Buddha is to study laws, and the laws are the Full Precepts, aka. supreme victorious true suchness, aka. Covenant Ark, aka. Contract between Human and God.
後文9.3節，劉團長雇傭意大利黑手黨，指責工地的人對我盧岩沒禮貌。那時，可把工地的人嚇壞了！工地的經理背地裏請了兩夥明白人來研究這件怪事。他們研究的結論是：我盧岩在加拿大的生活不如意，我的一位中國的有錢有勢的親戚看著就難受了，所以那工地就發生了怪事。他們認為人生的幸福不是錢的問題，而取決於性格；認為我的那位國內的親戚想通過雇傭黑社會幫我打架來改善我的性格，並且想讓他們教我如圖5.3-1的待人接物的禮節舉止。
Later in Section 9.3, Troupe Leader Liu hired the Italian Mafia and accused the people at the construction site of being rude to me, Luyan. At that time, it scared the people at the construction site! The manager of the construction site secretly asked two groups wise people to study this strange affair. The conclusion of their study was: I Luyan's life in Canada is not as good as I would like it to be, and one of my rich and powerful relatives in China had a hard time looking at it, so something strange happened in that construction site. They believed that happiness in life was not a matter of money but depended on personality; they believed that my domestic relative wanted to improve my personality by hiring Mafia to help me fight, and that my relative wanted them to train me the social etiquette as shown in figs 5.3-1.
5.4 劉團長其人 The Person of Troupe Leader Liu
我在遼寧分院那幾年，大舅多次教導我待人接物的舉止言談，多次被教訓得流淚。舅媽勸他說：“有話，好好說。你幹嘛那麽橫！” 大舅回答：“理解了，他不練習，不用，那有什麽用！我要讓他給我記住一輩子！”
一次，大舅媽和大姐又發現他看我不順眼，就找個借口，出去了。可是，她們走後，大舅不說話了，躺在那裏發呆。
我問：“大舅，看來你有心事，為什麽不說說？”
During the years when I was in the Liaoning branch, my uncle Yushan Wang taught me many times how to behave and speak when dealing with others, and I was taught many times to the point of tears. My aunt advised him: "If you have something to say, say it properly. Why are you so accusive!" Uncle replied: "He understands, he doesn't practice, not using it, what's the use! I want him to remember it forever!"
Once, my aunt and sister found out that he was unhappy with my behaviors again, so they made an excuse and went out. However, after they left, Uncle stopped talking and lay there in a daze.
I asked: "Uncle, it seems you have something on your mind, why don't you tell me?"
大舅對我不屑一顧：“你又不知道誰是誰！”
我回答：“你說了，我不就知道了。那個老劉現在怎麽樣了？”
大舅吃驚地坐了起來：“你怎麽知道老劉？”
我回答：“聽你說的，每次你和我談這事，你就舉關於他的例子，對他讚不絕口！他對你的人生影響很大。”
Uncle looked down upon me: "You don't know who is!"
I replied: "If you tell me, I will know. How is that Old Liu (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) doing now?"
Uncle sat up in surprise: "How do you know about Old Liu?"
I replied: "From what you said, every time you and I talked about social etiquette, you cited examples about him, raved about him! He has had a great influence on your life."
過了一會兒，大舅回答：“可以這麽說，這個老劉是個先立業，後成家的人。”
我問：“你是怎麽認識老劉的？”
大舅回答：“剛解放（1950年代），東北大學建校的時候，我是夥食科的大師傅，他是我們的科長，是個絕對的覺悟型的人。”
我問：“那是什麽人？”
After a while, Uncle replied: "You could say that this Old Liu is a man who started a career first and a family later."
I asked: "How did you know Old Liu?"
Uncle replied: "Just after liberation (in the 1950s), when Northeastern University was founded, I was the master chef of the catering section, and he was our section chief, an absolutely conscientious type of person."
I asked: "What kind of person is that?"
大舅回答：“他辦事想問題複雜周全，按計劃行事。我給你舉個例子說。一次，政府有個新政策，他找我商量說：‘這個新政策對咱們有好處。今年有，以後有沒有不知道。可是，咱們科的條件比別的科差些。我想這麽辦。今晚，我找咱科的A人，我跟他這麽說，XXX。A人到家後，會和B人這麽說，YYY。B人吃完晚飯，出來溜達，會碰上C人，會和他這麽說，ZZZ。第二天早上，C人上班後，就端著個大茶缸子去找人事科長D人。C人是書記，替咱們說好話，那這事就有希望了。第三天早上，小E不行，你讓咱科小F拿著材料去找D人。D人看見小F就笑。咱這事就有可能辦成了。’”
Uncle replied: "He thinks affairs through in a complex way and acts according to a plan. Let me give you an example. Once, the government had a new policy. He came to me to discuss it, ‘This new policy is good for us. This year has it, I don’t know if there will be any in the future. However, the conditions in our department are worse than other departments. I want to do this. Tonight, I go to Person A in our department, and I said to him, ‘What to do, XXX.’ After Person A gets home, he will talk to Person B, and would say this way, ‘YYY’. After dinner, Person B goes out for a walk, he would meet Person C and say to him this way, ‘ZZZ’. The next morning, Person C goes to work, he would go to the personnel department to find Person D with a big tea jar. Person D is the personnel department chief. And Person C is the secretary, if he speaks good words for us, then there is hope for this matter. On the next morning of the third day, Little E can’t do it. You ask Little F of our department to go to Person D with our documents. Once Person D sees Little F, he would laugh. This way, it's possible that we can get the new policy.'"
大舅繼續說： “當時我聽了，感覺懵懵懂懂的，這說的是什麽呀！可人家是老板，我就照著做了。結果，第三天，小F回來就告訴我：我們得到了那個新政策。我感覺奇怪，就記住了。盧岩！他每一件事都先立個周全的計劃，然後，按計劃行事。後來，他參軍走了；我也和學校裏的人混熟了。一次，他們幾個人在一起，我就向他們調查這事。他們幾個人議論了一個小時。結論是：正是那樣。他們還驚訝地問：這是誰的主意！？”
Uncle continued: "When I heard this, I was confused. What was this talking about? But he was the boss, so I just did it. As a result, on the third day, Little F came back and told me, ‘We got that new policy’. I felt strange, so I remembered it. Luyan! He made a thorough plan for everything and then acted according to the plan. Later, he joined the army and left; I also got to know each other well in the school. One time, a few of them were together, and I asked them to investigate this matter. They discussed it for an hour. The conclusion was: that’s exactly what happened. They even asked in surprise, ‘Whose idea was this!?’”
“人事科長D人說，我清楚地記著這件事。那時那個新政策剛下來的時候，我和書記C人等幾個人就議論了，決定了，那個新政策給TTT科。那天早上書記C人跟我說你們科，我還猶豫：怎麽書記改主意了呢！我看見小F就高興了。當時就決定把新政策給你們了。小F一走，我就後悔了：我這是辦的什麽事！當天下午，我就去TTT科，給人家道歉去了。”
我驚歎地說：“奇人！他怎麽當兵去了呢！都已經工作了！”
"Person D, the chief of the personnel section, said, ‘I remember this clearly. When the new policy first came down, secretary (Person C) and I and several other people discussed it and decided that the new policy would be given to the TTT department. That day in the morning, Secretary (i.e., Person C) told me about your department. I was still hesitant, ‘Why did the Secretary change his mind?’ And I was happy when I saw Little F. I decided to give you the new policy at that time. As soon as Little F left, I regretted it, ‘What did I do! That afternoon, I went to the TTT department to apologize to them.’"
I exclaimed in amazement: "What a strange man! Why did he become a soldier? He was already working!"
5.4-2 劉團長官運亨通 Troupe Leader Liu Has a Prosperous Official Career
大舅說：“那時候是建國初期，和現在不一樣。部隊來東北大學征兵，他就想去，還約我一起參軍。我認為：戰爭結束了，部隊裏有戰功的人多的是；我們參軍，哪能有地位；還是個宣傳兵種。他說他有個計劃，還約人去聽他的計劃。我沒去聽。”
“顯然，他的計劃成功了，他升官像似坐直升飛機似的。1970年代時，他就當上了沈陽軍區文工團的副團長，是師級幹部；在沈陽軍區裏，紅得不得了。他在那時才結婚生子（注，那時我和他的長女劉健君訂婚了，參見第一章《娃娃婚約》）。他交際廣，朋友多；在北京中央政府裏也有幾個朋友。”
Uncle said: "It was the early days of the founding of the People's Republic of China, which was different from now. When the army came to Northeastern University to recruit soldiers, he wanted to go and asked me to join the army together. I thought: the war is over, and there are many people with military exploits in the army; If we join the army, how can we have any status? And those are cultural soldiers. He said he had a plan and invited people to listen to his plan. I didn't go to listen."
"Obviously, his plan was successful. He (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) was promoted as if he were on a helicopter. In the 1970s, he became the deputy leader of the cultural troupe of the Shenyang Military Region, a division-level cadre; in the Shenyang Military Region, he was extremely popular. He just got married and had children at that time (annotation, at that time author me, Adam Luyan, was engaged to his eldest daughter Eve Liu; see Chapter 1 " Children Marriage Contract"). He associated broadly, had many friends. He also had several friends in the central government in Beijing."
“他就想去中央。他的國防部裏的朋友給他出主意， ‘你沒軍功，要不你組建這個炮校（即沈陽炮兵學院，如插圖，原是1930年代的延安炮校），也算有個功勞。’ 老劉當時找我商量。我說我不行，沒知識又沒經驗。他讓我隨便說。我說，我看不明白這是在幫你呢，還是在害你呢！建一所學校有很多事，需要很多年。還是個炮校，大炮、雷達、導彈在當時，那都是高科技呀！他一聽就不樂意我了。後來，他這個炮校項目就沒幹好。他那些軍區裏的朋友也不真幫忙，他沒設備也沒錢。他又說我不幫忙。”
"So, he wanted to go to the Central Committee of Beijing. His friends in the Ministry of National Defense gave him an idea, 'You have no military merit, how about you set up this artillery school (the Shenyang Artillery Institute, as shown in the illustration, originally the Yanan Artillery School in the 1930s), It can be regarded as a meritorious service.' Old Liu (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) came to discuss with me at the time. I said I couldn't do it because I had no knowledge and experience. He asked me to say whatever I wanted. I said, I can't understand whether this is helping you or framing you! There are many things involved in building a school and it takes many years. It is still an artillery school. Cannons, radars, and missiles were all high-tech at that time! He was not happy with me when he heard about it. Later, his artillery school project became He didn’t do a good job. His friends in the military region didn’t really help. He had no equipment and no money. He also said that I wouldn’t help.”
我說：“那是你的能力有限，也和你的誠實性格有關，不說沒把握的話。那這個老劉（劉團長）就完蛋了！”
大舅說：“完蛋！真有能力的人才不會完蛋呢！那個小學校不能滿足他的欲望。他就到南方去學習如何建立炮校了。說是學習，就是換個地方，到南方發展去了。後來我聽說，在南方，他又有兩件事沒辦好，中央沒去成。前些日子我聽說，他又回來沈陽了！”
I said: "That's because your ability is limited, and it's also related to your honest personality, not to say things you're not sure of. Then this Old Liu (i.e., Troupe Leader Liu) is finished!"
Uncle said: "Finished! It's only those with real ability who won't be finished! That small school couldn't fulfill his desires. He went south to learn how to build an artillery school. He said he was studying, but he was just changing places and going south to develop. Later I heard that in the south, he failed to do two more things, and the Central Government of Beijing didn't go through with it. The other day I heard that he came back to Shenyang!"
注5.4，本文是王玉山大舅心中的劉團長。以作者我的觀點，這時他回沈陽的目的是為了繼續他的“真人醫學實驗”（參見4.5節），本小節的前文和後文都是他此時所做的事。
Annotation 5.4, This article is about Troupe Leader Liu in the mind of my Uncle Yushan Wang. In my opinion, Troupe Leader Liu’s purpose in returning to Shenyang at this time was to continue his "real-life medical experiments" (see section 4.5), and the preceding and following of this section are what he was doing at this time.
5.5 多重性格 Multiple Personalities
六月的一天，媽媽從黑龍江東寧來看我，說帶我去看看那份工作。我跟著媽媽去到了高中壓閥門廠，工廠的基建處長向我介紹了這工作的情況。晚上，我跟著媽媽、老姨、大姑在工廠裏溜達。她們讓我去路邊一個房子裏看看。
In the spring of 1994, I was about to graduate from the Liaoning Branch of Northeastern University and faced the issue of finding a job. My fifth aunt entrusted her husband's sister (I call her Aunt Lu) to find a job for me at the Shenyang High and Medium Pressure Valve Factory (SHMPV Factory). Because I liked Aunt Lu’s daughter Xin Lu, didn't look for another job. At this time, I had only met Xin Lu a few times eight years ago, and then I only knew that she was a nurse in this factory hospital. She had a boyfriend, but her parents Aunt Lu and uncle disagree.
One day in June, my mother came to see me from Dongning, Heilongjiang Province, and said she would take me to see the job. I followed my mother to the SHMPV Factory. The director of the factory’s infrastructure department introduced me to the work situation. In the evening, I walked around the factory with my mother, Fifth Aunt, and Aunt Lu. They asked me to check out a house on the roadside.
我推門看見了陸鑫。她本來站在窗邊，轉身做到了沙發上；可她的行為是當時沈陽混混當中流行的一套動作。我大吃一驚，驚呆了，隨後緩和了，和他交談了半個小時。
我們出來後，她們逗陸鑫：“這麽長時間沒見過麵了，這驚喜是個什麽感覺！” 陸鑫大聲抱怨：“驚喜！差點兒把我嚇死了！我從窗裏看見他了，笑嗬嗬的，和以前一樣。他推門看見我，笑容變了，動作舉止都在變（注5.5）。我眼看著他變成了另一個人，可凶狠啦！眼睛裏放著凶光！好像似要殺了我似的。我被嚇呆了！過了一會兒，我說，‘二哥！不認識我了！’ 他聽見了，回答，‘啊！認識！’ 他又一點點兒地變回來了。”
I opened the door and saw Xin Lu. She was originally standing by the window but turned around and sat on the sofa. Her behavior was a popular move among Shenyang gangsters at the time. I was taken aback, stunned, then relented, and talked to him for half an hour.
After we came out, they teased Xin Lu: "Having not seen each other for so long, how does this surprise feel?" Xin Lu complained loudly: "Surprise! It almost scared me to death! I saw him from the window, He was smiling, just like before. He opened the door and saw me, his smile changed, and his movements and mannerisms were changing (annotation 5.5). I watched him become another man, but he was so fierce! There was a fierce light in his eyes! It seemed as if he was going to kill me. I was petrified! After a while, I said, 'Second brother! You don't recognize me anymore!?' He heard it and replied, 'Ah! I know you!' He spoke and was little by little transforming back."
注5.5，美國精神病手冊裏有這方麵的描述，我這種多重性格能在人前瞬間變化（如插圖所示5.5-4），看見的人會感覺毛骨悚然，很恐怖。寫完回憶錄後，才知道我有三個性格，一個膽小懦弱的小人；一個大明白，就是健談，自圓自說的那種。第三種性格殘酷邪惡，做過的許多事，讓我自己討厭自己。我的多重性格是第一章《娃娃婚約》中的嬰幼兒神經發育失調症造成的。三個性格就好像是三個不同的人，比如眼睛的大小不同，有不同的習慣、行為、智商等。現代的研究還發現，同一人，在一種性格中對某種東西過敏，當他在另一種性格時就可能不過敏。插圖5.5-5是墨西哥的雨神特拉洛克；頭頂的劈裂表示他有多重性格。
Annotation 5.5. This aspect is described in the American Psychiatric Manual. My kind of multiple personalities can change instantly in front of others (as shown in the illustration 5.5-4). People who see it will feel creepy and terrifying. After writing my memoirs, I realized that I have three personalities: one is a timid and cowardly villain; the other is a wise person who is talkative and self-explanatory. The third personality is cruel and evil and has done many affairs that make me hate myself. My multiple personalities are the result of an infantile neurodevelopmental disorder in the first chapter, “Children Marriage Contract”. The three personalities are like three different people, such as different eye sizes, different habits, behaviors, IQs, etc. Modern research has also found that the same person who is allergic to something in one personality may not be allergic to it in another personality. Illustration 5.5-5 shows Tlaloc, the Mexican god of rain; the cleft in his head indicates that he has multiple personalities.
?我媽媽大笑著對大姑說： “幾年沒見，這陸鑫變得這麽能說。不過，我感覺她說話有點兒離譜！說瞎話不用草稿，是不是事先準備好的？”
大姑說：“事先，她不知道你們來了。她是看見咱們才知道的。”
媽媽感覺奇怪，說：“看來，陸鑫是受到了驚嚇！但陸鑫說的也不著邊兒呀！怎麽盧岩還能變呢！？”
大姑說：“陸鑫沒瞎說，她沒那個智慧。這是發生的事情！是咱們計劃的這個青梅竹馬的驚喜太大了！可把倆孩子嚇壞了！”
My mother laughingly said to Aunt Lu: "I haven't seen Xin Lu for a few years, and she has become so eloquent. However, I feel that her words are a bit outrageous! She does not need a draft to tell lies. Is she prepared in advance?"
Aunt Lu said, "Beforehand, she did not know that you had come. She only realized it when she saw us."
Mom felt strange and said, "It seems that Xin Lu was frightened! But what she said doesn't make sense! How come Luyan can still change!"
Aunt Lu said: "She is not talking nonsense; she doesn't have that wisdom. This is what happened! It was too much a surprise that we planned for this Childhood Sweetheart! They two both are horrified terribly."
5.6 特殊的新政策 Special New Policy
他們都願意陸鑫和我在一起。可是，陸鑫她媽讓我媽為我們倆在沈陽買房子。我媽媽答應了。我和陸欣還沒談戀愛呢！事情就發展成這樣了。七月，同學們都離開學校了。我心裏明白，父母在黑龍江的生意做得不如意，買房子對他們來說是有困難的。我都已經24歲了，上班後那點兒工資都不夠養活自己，還要父母給我買房子；我這樣做就不能算是個人了！幾天內，我哭了幾次，決定不去那家工廠了，自己找工作。
They are all willing for Xin Lu and me to be together. However, Xin Lu’s mom asked my mom to buy a house in Shenyang for the two of us. My mom agreed. She and I weren't even in love yet! That's how things developed. In July, all my classmates left school. I knew in my heart that my parents' business in Heilongjiang was not doing as well as they would like, and buying a house would be difficult for them. I was already 24 years old, and my salary was not enough to support myself when I started working, so I had to ask my parents to buy me a house; I couldn't be considered a human if I did that! I cried several times in a few days and decided not to go to that factory, to look for another job on my own.
一天晚上，我來到王玉山大舅家，說，我不喜歡鐵西的那家工廠了，求他幫我找工作。大舅一聽就生氣了：“我以前問過你幾次，找工作需要幫忙不？你說不需要。現在，你突然說你又不喜歡鐵西那家工廠了。那你為什麽不喜歡了？”
大舅媽看出了我很傷心，對大舅說：“不喜歡了就是不喜歡了！求你幫忙找工作就說找工作的事，你說別的有什麽用！別著急，慢慢說。”
One evening, I came to Uncle Yushan Wang’s home, said, I do not like the SHMPV factory anymore, asked him to help me find a job. Uncle was angry when he heard, and said: "I've asked you several times before, do you need help to find a job? You said no. Now, you suddenly said you don't like that factory anymore. Then why don't you like it?"
Aunt saw that I was sad and said to Uncle: "That he does not like it anymore is not liking it! Asking your help to find a job, so now talking of affairs for finding a job! What's the use of talking about anything else! Don't be in a hurry, speak slowly."
5.6-2
過了一會兒，大舅媽膽怯地說：“前一陣子，那誰不是坐在那兒念誦來的。”大舅媽說著，用手指著屋子裏的位置。
大舅驚訝地看著大舅媽問：“誰？”
大舅媽支支吾吾地回答；我聽不懂他們倆在說什麽。（注，從後文發生的事來判斷，他們談論的人是劉團長。）
大舅說：“那不都過去半年了嗎！”
大舅媽說：“啥半年，才兩個多月。”
After a while, Aunt said timidly: "Who didn't sit there and chatted some days while ago?" As Aunt saying, she pointed to the location in the room.
Uncle looked at her in surprise and asked: "Who?"
Aunt replied hesitantly, what I couldn't understand. (Annotation, judging from what happened later, the person they were talking about was Troupe Leader Liu.)
Uncle said: "Hasn't it already been half a year?"
Aunt said: "What half a year! It's only more than two months."
大舅說: “咋可能才兩個多月！？” 想了一會兒後說， “兩個多月的時間也太長了。”
大舅媽說：“其實兩個星期前，他還打電話來呐！”
大舅的臉色變了，走近大舅媽坐著的床，說：“那，我咋不記得了呢！”
Uncle said: "How can it be just over two months!" After thinking for a while, he said, "Two months are too long."
Aunt said: "In fact, two weeks ago, he even called!"
Uncle's face changed, approached the bed where Aunt was sitting and said: "Well, why don't I remember that!"
大舅媽指了指我，說：“不是你不記得了！是我看你見著他就發呆，我沒告訴你。”
大舅立刻生氣了，說：“那他來電話！你也應該告訴我！”大舅轉身對我說：“盧岩，你和你大姐到客廳裏坐一會兒；我和你大舅媽有話說。”
Aunt pointed at me and said: "It's not that you don't remember! It's that I didn't tell you because I saw you gawking at the sight of him."
Immediately Uncle got angry and said: "Even so! he called! You should have told me too!" Uncle turned to me and said: "Luyan, you and your big sister go sit in the living room for a while; I have something to say to your aunt."
5.6-3
我和王剛大姐出來到了客廳。她也感覺奇怪，大聲對我說：“這倆人都退休十多年了！居然還有秘密！”又加大了嗓門說：“你們倆說話小點兒聲，這牆不隔音！”
不知道臥室的門是什麽時候開的，大舅笑著出來了，說：“才想起來，今年遼寧省有個新政策：‘為了方便新的大學畢業生找工作，今年暑期，各政府機關和各大廠礦都設有招聘辦公室，都由他們自己的人事部門來組織。’ 盧岩要不你先自己找找，試一試。我這邊也給你打聽著。如果找到了比鐵西那個工廠更好的，那不是更好嗎！如果找不到，那咱慢慢再想辦法。”
我問：“那我去哪兒找？”
Sister Gang Wang and I came out to the living room. She also felt strange and said aloud to me: "These two have been retired for more than ten years! I can't believe they still have secrets!" And then increased her voice and shouted: "You two keep your voices down, this wall is not soundproof!"
I don’t know when Uncle opened the door, but Uncle came out with wide smile and said: “I just remembered, Liaoning Province has a new policy this year: ‘In order to facilitate new college graduates to find jobs, this summer, various government agencies and All major factories and mines have recruitment offices, which are organized by their own personnel departments.’ Luyan, why don't you look for it yourself first and give it a try. I'll ask you about it too. If you find one is better than the SHMPV factory, wouldn’t that be better! If you can’t find one, then let’s think of a way slowly.”
?I asked: "Then where should I find it?"
大舅說：“我也不明白。我捉摸著，政府機關比工廠好。那你就先到像和平區政府，鐵西區政府這樣的地方問問。到那兒，你就找人事科，跟他們說這個新政策，看看他們接待的人能提供什麽消息。你就先試試，說不定呢，哪兒都可能缺人。先找近的；再找遠的。”
我向大舅詢問了和平區政府的地址。
The uncle said: "I don't understand either. I guess government agencies are better than factories. Then you should first go to places like Heping District Government and Tiexi District Government to ask. When you get there, go to the Personnel Department, and ask them about this new policy and see what information the people who receive you can provide. Just give it a try first. Maybe somewhere there is a shortage of people. Find the ones that are close first, and then the ones that are far away."
I asked my uncle for the address of Heping District Government.
5.6-4
第二天早上，我來到和平區政府的辦公樓。正好在走廊裏走過來一位三十左右歲的女人，笑咪咪的，和藹可親。我問她人事科在哪兒？她卻說：“你找人事科幹啥？有事兒跟我說吧。”
我按照昨天王玉山大舅教我的說了。她說：“我就是人事科長，這個政策，我怎麽不知道呢！如果有這樣的新政策，那負責的人就是我。我先去打個電話問問，可能是市裏傳達通知的時候，把我們漏下了。” 她帶我到會議室，然後去打電話了解情況。
The next morning, I came to the office building of the Heping District Government. A woman in her thirties walked over in the corridor, smiling and amiable. I asked her where the Human Resource section was. But she said: "What are you looking for in the personnel department? Tell me something.”
I followed what Uncle Yushan Wang taught me yesterday. She said: "I am the head of the personnel section; how can I not know this policy!" If there is such a new policy, I am the one responsible. I'm going to make a phone call first, maybe the city missed us when they delivered the notice. She took me to the conference room and then went to make a phone call to find out.
她（即白科長）回來後，笑著問我是哪個學校畢業的，等等，然後對我說：“我問了市裏的XXX，他也不知道這個新政策。他問了YYY，也不知道。不過也不一定就沒有，你知道，人都很忙，時常忘了以前的工作（注2）。” 她看著我笑了笑，又說：“我記得前幾天房產局的ZZZ股長跟我說，他那兒需要個人。你可以去那兒問問。”
When she (Section Chief Bai) came back, she smiled and asked me which school I graduated from, etc., and then said to me: "I asked XXX in the city, and he didn't know about this new policy. He asked YYY, and YYY didn't know it also. But it's not necessarily nothing, you know, people are so busy that they often forget their previous jobs (annotation 2). She looked at me and smiled, and then said: "I remember the other day the head of the Heping Housekeeping Bureau told me that he needed someone there. You can go there and ask.”
注5.6-2，怎麽這位白科長說話十分地嚴謹？不說有，也不說沒有。我認為這個新政策確實是 “不是有，也不是沒有” ，因為4.5節《報紙新聞》裏的那種警察和後文第七章中我的國務院警察室友就有給出這種特殊新政策的特權。白科長這句話應該是劉團長拿捏出來的，話中有話。
Annotation 5.6-2, why does this Section Chief Bai speak very rigorously? Does not say have, does not say non-have. I think this new policy is really "neither have nor not have” because the kind of police officer in Section 4.5 of Newspaper News and my State Department police roommate in Chapter 7 have the privilege that they can give the kind of special new policy to several people. Section Chief Bai's words should have been taken out by Troupe Leader Liu, and there was something in his words.
我向她詢問地址，滿臉的茫然。白科長看我對這一地帶不熟悉，就說：“算了！我去打個電話，幫你問問。”
白科長回來後，告訴我：“他是需要一個人，連麵試的時間我都替你約好了。她幫我寫好了麵試的地址，時間和聯係電話。”
接下來的星期一，我去和平房產局麵試。人事股的XXX股長問我： “你是區裏白科長介紹來的？”
I asked her for address of Heping Housekeeping Bureau, with a confused look on my face. Section Chief Bai saw that I was not familiar with this area, so she said: "Forget it! I'll make a call and ask for you."
After she came back, told me: "They need someone. I even made an appointment for you. She helped me write down the address, time and telephone number for the interview."
The following Monday, I went to the Heping Housekeeping Bureau for an interview. Section Chief XXX of the Human Resources Department asked me: "Are you introduced by Section Chief Bai from the district?"
我們談了兩三分鍾之後，他領我去到了和平房產局第一建築分公司。公司經理朱國俊問XXX股長： “他是區裏白科長介紹來的那個？” XXX股長很大歲數了，走路卻像個訓練有素的軍人一樣，筆直地站著，十分肯定地回答說： “是！”
朱國俊經理隨便地問了幾句，哪個學校的，什麽時候畢業，什麽專業；然後介紹這個公司，問我同意不？
那時，我不懂找工作是怎麽回事，我就同意了。
朱經理忽然說：“啊！你已經畢業了。現在閑著沒事幹！那你下個星期一就來上班吧！”
After we talked for two or three minutes, he led me to the First Construction Branch of the Heping Housekeeping Bureau. Guojun Zhu, the manager of the company, asked XXX: "Is he the one who was introduced to you by the district's Section Chief Bai?" XXX, who was very old but walked like a well-disciplined soldier, stood straight, and replied firmly: "Yes!"
Manager Guojun Zhu casually asked a few questions about which school, when I would graduate, and what I majored in; then he introduced this company and asked if I agreed.
At that time, I didn't understand what was going on to find a job, and I agreed.
Manager Zhu suddenly said: "Ah! You've already graduated. Now you have nothing to do! Then you come to work next Monday!"
5.6-5
晚上，我就去了王玉山大舅家，跟他們講了我找到工作的事。大舅，大舅媽和王剛大姐都笑著說：“巧！太碰巧了！”
In the evening, I went to Uncle Yushan Wang's house and told them about my finding a job. Uncle, Aunt and Sister Gang Wang all laughed and said: "Coincidence! Too coincidental!“
