印度 混亂 噪音和衛生問題

印度不適合初學者——混亂、噪音和衛生問題

India Is NOT For Beginners - Chaos, Noise, and Hygiene

Eastern Dawn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgTZnDtYvVQ

當一家購物中心宣布午夜五折促銷時，會發生什麽？想象一下置身其中的感受。這就像僵屍電影裏的場景。

總之，印度不適合初學者。說真的，如果你以為拿著《孤獨星球》旅行指南，麵帶微笑就能輕鬆抵達新德裏，那麽你將踏上人生中文化之旅的顛簸之旅。因為在印度，混亂並非偶然，而是一種生活方式。

讓我們先從駕駛開始，或者更確切地說，印度人所說的駕駛。想象一下現實版的《瘋狂的麥克斯：狂暴之路》。

隻不過，路上沒有裝甲卡車，而是嘟嘟車、公交車、牛群，還有一個騎著摩托車的男人，載著四個家庭成員、一個丙烷罐和一個裝滿購物袋。的確有車道，但它們更像是建議，而不是規則。在這裏按喇叭並不粗魯。

這幾乎是一種語言。按一下喇叭表示讓開。按兩下表示我要超車。按三下表示我認命了。紅綠燈是可選的。人行橫道。純粹的裝飾。

如果你能活著穿過一條印度大馬路，那你就應該得到一枚獎章。不過，回家後一定要去檢查一下有沒有創傷後應激障礙。但真正的冒險始於你餓的時候。因為說實話，沒有什麽比你第一次“德裏肚”更能表達對印度的歡迎了。你會看到當地人坐在金屬手推車上吃著辛辣的街頭小吃，心想：“哇，看起來真好吃。” 直到大約6個小時後，你不得不抱著一個衝不完的馬桶。如果你足夠幸運，能找到一個不僅僅是地洞的地方，那就更好了。印度的街頭小吃可以帶來天堂般的美味，之後，可以說是胃腸的盛宴。衛生標準可以靈活變通。

遞給你薩莫薩三角餃的攤主，也會順便拿你的錢，撓撓頭，擦擦腋窩，然後馬上回去做飯，這種情況並不少見。第二，如果你以為在餐館吃飯就能避開混亂，那就等你走到那裏再說吧。

人行道（如果有人行道的話）經常被停放的摩托車、流浪狗，或者，你知道的，隨意堆放的垃圾堵住。印度的垃圾問題已經全麵爆發。你會在寺廟或高檔咖啡館旁邊看到堆積如山的垃圾。更糟糕的是，流浪的牛和狗經常會吃這些垃圾堆裏的腐爛食物或塑料。

光是那股味道就能讓你流淚。對於一個視牛為聖的國家來說，看到它們在路邊啃塑料袋，真的令人心碎。

別忘了河流。比如恒河，就被認為是神聖的。但你知道，在這神聖的名聲之下，隱藏著世界上最髒的水。人們在恒河裏洗澡、洗衣服，甚至飲用。

然而，就在幾英尺之外，汙水管道卻直接排入同一條河流。這是一個悲劇性的矛盾。精神的純潔與物質的汙染相遇。此外，還有公共衛生問題，或者說，公共衛生的匱乏。盡管政府大力推行廁所建設，但隨地大小便仍然普遍得令人震驚。你會看到成年男子在牆上或灌木叢後公開方便，仿佛這是世界上最正常的事情。

有時你甚至會看到寫著“禁止在此小便”的標誌。你猜對了，周圍都是尿漬。有些街道的惡臭簡直令人難以忍受。露天汙水管道隨處可見，源源不斷地排放著汙水和細菌，足以讓任何衛生檢查員暈倒。

即使它們沒有直接流入河流，通常也會直接流入公共街道，這意味著每個人都能看到，呃，聞到。但即使你能忍受這些景象、氣味和交通，還有一件事真正考驗著每個遊客的耐心，那就是騙局。在印度，詐騙不僅僅是常見。它幾乎成了一項全民運動，一項他們能拿金牌的運動。所以，我想，做得真好。

這些騙局每隔幾分鍾就會從四麵八方襲來，尤其是如果你看起來像個外國人。從你走出機場的那一刻起，你就成了一個行走的美元符號。

出租車和嘟嘟車司機是首當其衝的。你會得到特價，這其實隻是個暗號，表示我們要收你十倍於正常價格的費用。有些人會告訴你你的酒店關門了或者被燒毀了，然後，你知道，好心地提出帶你去一家更好的酒店，而這家酒店不出所料，恰好是他們堂兄的。

還有一些人會故意繞遠路，假裝迷路，花光你的錢。對了，計價器，哦，它總是壞的。而且，如果你給他們太多現金，就別指望能找到零錢了。還有一些人，他們所謂的熱心腸，住在旅遊景點附近，不知從哪兒冒出來。他們會告訴你，他們是官方導遊，或者今天免費入場，但你可以捐點錢。他們會帶你參觀，最後再要錢。

有時他們會帶著一幫人氣勢洶洶地圍著你，大聲催你付款。他們甚至會反過來說你才是騙子。

難以置信，不是嗎？店主、小飾品商販和黃牛們不斷騷擾你。是啊，一段時間後真的會讓你精疲力竭。想象一下，你正走過一個奇形怪狀的集市，隻是想看看周圍的風景。每隔10秒鍾，就會有人衝著你說：“先生，您好。您是哪裏人？來看看我的店吧。很便宜，物美價廉。絕對沒有假貨。”你禮貌地拒絕，但他們還是會一直跟著你。有時他們會跟你走上好幾個街區，懇求你，甚至讓你產生負罪感，讓你買下你不想要的東西。你會發現十幾個人都在賣同樣的小木象、磁鐵或圍巾，他們都堅稱自己的店很特別。如果你和他們有眼神接觸，那就見鬼去吧。那簡直就是血染江湖。一旦他們知道你注意到他們，就會蜂擁而至。

這不僅僅是在市場。這種情況可能發生在海灘、寺廟附近，甚至當你坐在咖啡館裏時。你會收到假寶石、中國批量生產的手工紀念品，有時甚至是精神祝福，但最終發現也是騙局。一個人可能會在你的手腕上係一根紅線以求好運，然後索要錢財。

在齋浦爾、阿格拉和德裏等旅遊大城市，詐騙猖獗，以至於整個網絡論壇都致力於警告旅行者。假旅行社、假售票處、假僧侶，一切都是假的。甚至連孩子也會試圖讓你感到內疚，騙取你的錢財，通常是在成年人的監視下，他們在幕後策劃了這場騙局，就像印度翻拍的《霧都孤兒》一樣。雖然大多數這類遭遇與其說是危險，不如說是煩人，但純粹的持續性會讓你精疲力竭。你最終會耗費一半的精力隻是為了避免被人催促，仿佛時刻保持警惕。這幾乎是諷刺。

印度人對遊客的昵稱是“titi devoa”，意思是客人是上帝，但實際上，遊客往往感覺自己更像是獵物而不是神。你很快就會學會討價還價，仔細核對每一個價格，並且不相信任何主動和我朋友搭訕的人。但最糟糕的不是這些小騙局。

而是真正的犯罪。如今，身體暴力和性暴力在印度肆虐，這不足為奇。在不合適的人群麵前說錯話或做錯事，你可能會被勒死。即使是一些看似微不足道的小事，
也可能對這些愚蠢的人造成極大的冒犯。

當然，並非每個印度人都是如此。很多人真誠善良，樂於助人。不幸的是，少數害群之馬，或者更確切地說是那些頑固不化的人，會製造一種持續的猜疑感，讓人難以放鬆。這就是印度的魅力所在。

它會讓你在各個方麵都感到感官超載。視覺上、情感上，甚至精神上。喧囂、擁擠、騙局、氣味，無休止地襲來。這個國家不會為你放慢腳步。你要麽適應，要麽崩潰。印度並非天生糟糕，隻是它坦誠得近乎殘酷。它從不掩飾自身的缺陷。你會看到赤裸裸的貧窮、汙染、腐敗和混亂。但你也會發現色彩、音樂、歡笑和韌性。人們日複一日地充分利用自己擁有的一切。無論情況多麽艱難，印度都不僅僅是一個讓你眼花繚亂的地方。它是一個考驗你的地方。它會讓你沮喪，讓你著迷，讓你厭惡，同時也會給你靈感。但有一點是肯定的，它並不適合初學者。所以，如果你打算去，一定要臉皮厚，保持懷疑態度，甚至還要對著兜售者露出一個假笑。帶上洗手液、瓶裝水和幽默感。這三樣你都需要，因為在印度，一切都不會按計劃進行。但不知何故，這恰恰是

India Is NOT For Beginners - Chaos, Noise, and Hygiene

Eastern Dawn
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BgTZnDtYvVQ

What happened when a shopping mall announced a midnight sale with 50% discount? Imagine being in the middle of that.It's like a scene from a zombie film.
Anyway, India is not for beginners. Seriously, if you think you can just land in New Delhi with your Lonely Planet guide book and a smile, then you're in for the cultural roller coaster of your life. Because in India, chaos isn't just an accident. It's a way
of life.

Let's start with the driving, or rather what Indians call driving. Imagine a real life version of Mad Max Fury Road.

Except instead of armored trucks, you've got tuk tucks, buses, cows, and a guy on a scooter carrying four family members, a propane tank, and a bag full of shopping. There are lanes, yes, but they're more like suggestions rather than rules. Honking isn't rude here. 

It's practically a language. One honk means move. Two honks means I'm overtaking. And three means I've accepted death. Traffic lights optional. Pedestrian crossings. Pure decoration.

If you survive crossing a large Indian road, then you deserve a medal. But just get checked for PTSD when you return home. But the real adventure begins when you get hungry. Because honestly, nothing says welcome to India like your first case of Delhi belly. You'll see locals eating spicy street food from metal carts and think, "Wow, that looks
delicious." And it is until about 6 hours later when you're hugging a toilet that doesn't flush. That's if you're lucky enough to find one that isn't just a hole in the ground. Street food in India can be an experience of heavenly flavor followed by, let's just say,
gastrointestinal fireworks. Hygiene standards can be uh flexible. 

It's not uncommon for the guy handling your samosa to also handle your cash, scratch his head, wipe his armpits, and go right back to cooking. Two. Now, if you think you'll escape chaos by eating in a restaurant, just wait till you walk there. The sidewalks, if there are sidewalks, are often blocked by parked scooters, stray dogs, or, you know,
random piles of trash. India's litter problem is a full-blown epidemic. You'll see mountains of garbage right next to a temple or a fancy cafe. And what's worse, stray cows and dogs often eat rotten food or plastic from these heaps.

The smell alone could make your eyes water. For a country that worships the cow is holy, it's honestly heartbreaking to see them munching plastic bags on the roadside.
And let's not forget the rivers. The Ganges, for example, is considered sacred. But you know, beneath that holy reputation lies some of the dirtiest water in the world. People bathe in it, wash clothes in it, and even drink it.

While just a few feet away, sewage pipes are pouring directly into the same river. It's a tragic contradiction. Spiritual purity meets physical pollution. Then there's the issue of public hygiene, or, you know, the lack of it. Despite massive government campaigns to build toilets, public urination and defecation are still shockingly common. You'll see grown men relieving themselves openly on walls or behind bushes like it's the most normal
thing in the world. Sometimes you'll even spot signs that literally say, "Do not urinate here." Surrounded by, you guessed it, puddles of urine. The stench in some streets can be, well, overwhelming. And open sewage drains, they're everywhere, carrying a steady
flow of waste water and bacteria that would make any health inspector faint.

If they're not flowing directly into a river, then they're usually just flowing right into a public street, meaning everyone gets to see and uh smell it. But even if you manage to handle the sights, smells, and traffic, there's one thing that truly tests every visitor's patience, the scams. Scamming in India isn't just common. It's practically a national sport, one which they'd win a gold medal in. So well done, I guess.

And these scams will come at you every few minutes and from every direction, especially if you look foreign. The moment you step out of the airport, you're a walking dollar sign. 

Taxi and tuk tuk drivers are the first to strike. You'll get special prices, which is really just code for we're going to charge you like 10 times the normal rate. Some will tell you your hotel is closed or burned down and then, you know, kindly offer to take you to a better one, which not so surprisingly is conveniently owned by their cousin.
Others will accidentally take the long route just burning through your cash while pretending to be lost. And yes, the meter, oh, it's always broken. And well, don't expect to get any change if you give them too much cash. Then there are the so-called helpful locals near tourist spots who suddenly appear out of nowhere. They'll tell you they're
official guides or that entry is free today, but there's a special donation you can give. They'll take you on a tour and then demand money at the end, sometimes aggressively surrounding you with their gang and loudly demanding payment. They even flip the script and say you are the one who scammed them.

Incredible, isn't it? The constant harassment from shopkeepers, trinket sellers, and touts. Yeah, it can really wear you down after a while. Picture this. You're walking through a bizaar just trying to take in the sights. And every 10 seconds, someone's
in your face saying, "Hello, sir. Where are you from? Come look my shop. Very cheap. Good price for you. Definitely no fake brands." You say no politely, but they keep following you. sometimes for blocks, pleading or even guilt tripping you into buying something you don't want. You'll find the same little wooden elephants, magnets, or scarves being
sold by a dozen people, all insisting their shop is uh special. And God help you if you make eye contact. That's basically blood in the water. Once they know you've noticed them, they'll swarm.

It's not even just in markets. This can happen on beaches, near temples, even while you're sitting at a cafe. You'll get offered fake gemstones, handmade souvenirs that were mass-produced in China, and sometimes spiritual blessings that turn out to be scams, too. A guy might tie a red thread around your wrist for good luck, then demand money afterward.

In tourist heavy cities like Jaipur, Agra, and Delhi, scams are so rampant that entire online forums are dedicated to warning travelers. Fake tour agencies, fake ticket counters, fake monks, fake everything. Even kids will try to guilt trip you for money, often under the watchful eyes of adults orchestrating the scam from the background like some Indian remake of Oliver Twist. And while most of these encounters are more annoying than dangerous, the sheer persistence wears you down. You end up spending half your
energy just trying not to be hustled, like you're always on alert. It's almost ironic.

India's nickname for visitors is a titi devoa meaning the guest is god but in practice tourists often feel more like prey than gods. You learn quickly to bargain for everything double-check every price and trust no one who starts a conversation with my friend. But the worst thing is not these petty scams.

It's the true crimes. It's no surprise by now that physical and sexual violence is a real plague in India. say or do the wrong thing in front of the wrong crowd and you may find a rope being tied around your neck. Even something seemingly small or insignificant could
be highly offensive to these brainless folk.

Now, of course, it's not every Indian. Many people are genuinely kind and helpful. Unfortunately, the few bad apples, or rather the many persistent ones, create a sense of constant suspicion that makes it hard to relax. And that's the thing about India. It's
sensory overload in every sense. Visually, emotionally, and mentally. The noise, the crowds, the scams, the smells, it's all relentless. The country doesn't slow down for you. You either adapt or you break. It's not that India is inherently a bad place. It's just brutally honest. It doesn't hide its flaws. You'll see poverty, pollution, corruption, and chaos all out in the open. But you'll also find color, music, laughter, and resilience. People make the best of what they have day after day. No matter how tough things get, India isn't a place you just see. It's a place that tests you. It will frustrate you, fascinate you, disgust you, and inspire you all at once. But one thing's for sure, it's not for beginners. So, if you're planning to go, go with thick skin, a skeptical mind, and maybe a fake smile for the touts. Bring hand sanitizer, bottled water, and a sense of humor. You'll need all three because in India, nothing ever goes to plan. But somehow that is the