暖冬cool夏
這裏一年四季溫暖如春，沒有酷暑沒有嚴寒......
等一場颶風來襲，一場八十四年不遇的颶風，等來的卻隻是一場不大不小的風雨。
那個名叫Hillary的颶風還真沒有來，變心了，拐了個彎去了別處：）周日，五級地震倒是不請自來。
昨夜打開窗，想讓帶著雨絲的風吹進，想讓雨刷去窗縫間沉積多年的塵垢。不料一陣狂風吹起，卷珠簾，將桌上的那盆蘭花打翻在地。扶起時發現，那片寬大的葉片被折斷了。
女兒這次很記掛家裏，讓人暖心。
風雨過後，一地落葉。
昨日風雨交加，曇花卻如期獨自靜靜地綻放。隻是沒了賞花人，連我也忘了它。今早摘下這三朵尚未完全閉合的花蕊，心惜之。不是你不再美，而是人心便如此，忽視了身邊的擁有，忽視了默默無聞的陪伴。（四朵是8/18夜開的，三朵是8/20的）
《長相思》第一季追完了，第二季要等明年。仙俠劇好看的，飄飄渺渺虛虛幻幻，卻滿足了人的想象。故事裏男女主人公纏纏綿綿的愛恨情仇，一個女人被四個男人愛，何其虐心！ （下麵的這段是青丘公子寫給小夭的信，當時順手記了下來。 再讀，其實也沒覺的寫的有多好，估計人比較容易在劇情中被感動。）最後小夭要嫁的是豐隆，就是當今所說的政治聯姻。
你若是風中蓮
我願做水中風
相見相思
你若是雲中月
我願做天上雲
相戀相惜
你若是樹上藤
我願做山中樹
相伴相依
縱然世間有悲歡
縱然人生有聚散
但我心如磐石無轉移
隻願和你長相守
不分離
下麵的英文是斷斷續續寫的，東一點西一點在電腦裏，也收集起來放在這裏吧。
09/2022
It was 8ish on the Labor Day Sunday morning. Unlike any other crisp morning here in Southern CA, this windless morning plagued by a prolonged heat wave was swelteringly hot. The concrete-paved ground that had collected the morning heat was diffusing like a steamer. The palm trees and lawns next to it could no longer help moderate the temperature. They looked weary too. But that did not seem to put a damper on people. A team of around 20 people, mostly women with an addition of four or five men, were standing there undaunted. The familiar Chinese music was floating in the air, to the beat of which they wriggled their bodies. Em stood among them, stretching, bending, twisting and jumping as they used to do every Sunday morning. Soon the upper parts of their T-shirts were wet with sweat.
The teacher stood in the front, instructing through a microphone headset tilted to her mouth, as she danced. She is lithe and young-looking, and the fact that she is ten years senior than Em floored her. “Can I be as young and agile as she is in ten years?” Em doubted it.
A two-week’s record-breaking bout of heat wave was finally eased today as a moderate rainfall quelled the sizzling earth.
07/15/2023
Dancing with the team becomes Em’s newfound passion and pastime. Though she was not born a dancer, as her later years’ stunted growth in height disqualifies her, her love for music is in her blood, and dancing to the music is thus made sensational. In her mid-50s, without many house chores and the daughter around, her desire of living her own life is rekindled and only becomes more intensifying as aging creeps upon stealthily. Dancing re-invigorates her body, her arms, her legs and her heart.
After a year's dancing with the team, Em decided to take one bold step further – to join the team in the video-taped performances. She deemed this a chance to lively record herself that can attest to the years. The evanescent bygone youth is never to be salvaged, neither will be the current middle-aged years. Life is a one-way street, but with videos and pictures, at least she could revisit the memory lanes.
Em had to rummage in the drawer for the makeup, when the dance teacher’s dress code sent through Wechat asked for light makeups for the video-taping. It must be almost a decade since her last use of makeup, possibly at a job interview when that was ever needed. She found a large ziploc bag left behind by her daughter, where some cases, tubes and brushes were kept. She picked up a disguised lipstick, and put it on her lips, only to find that it was a foundation. While a lipstick, found in a half-dried and half-emptied bottle, was in the shape of an eyelash brush. Em could not help laughing at herself for being so behind and ignorant. Cosmetics, like fashion, must have upended itself in this evolving era.
Em looked at herself in the mirror, a middle aged woman, whose countenance had long lost its youth and luster. Aging was now in every cell of her face. Despite the recently dyed hair, the wrinkles and creases in the eye corners and below the jaw however were starting to emerge. The once velvety skin that she was most proud of was now blemished with dotty dark spots. The UV rays in the sun that greehs her almost every day must have done its job. Em was a bit melancholy as she brushed the foundation here and there, trying to cover the dark spots up.
In her light makeup and a long red skirt, Em drove up to the great park. It was around 6:50 pm, but the nearest parking lot to the square was fully packed. Em U-turned, parked afar, and made a beeline across the lawn. She looked around, and saw to her right on the lawn a big white sheet highly elevated for the projection of a movie. “The park is a hub of the city now.” Em thought to herself, while she quickened her steps towards the square.
It’s a high summer evening. After a day’s sun bake, the ground and the air were balmy. The sky was still blue with wisps of clouds drifting around. Em joined the team, lined up and poised for the music to start. The sun setting in the west torched the sky crimson, turning the houses in the distance next to it in dark silhouette. Nearby, a big orange balloon, the icon of the county, was half rising in the sky. The towering palm trees around were glowing in the last sunrays. It was against this backdrop that Em and her team danced in the twilight.
The night finally fell. As Em waved good-bye to the team who stayed on for more dances, she saw the huge orange balloon glowing high above in the night sky, beckoning her a good night.
06/24/2023
The news was broken to Em on the morning of May 23 on her way to work. A friend of Em’s left a voice message on Wechat that Jen, the elder daughter of Lis, their mutual friend, fell off a cliff and died when she and her boyfriend was touring Switzerland. Tears welled up in Em’s eyes as the sudden and heart-wrenching news gripped her. Old memories resurfaced. It was during the first few years in the states, two decades ago that Em met Lis in the same apartment complex they lived. Lis came from Shenzhen to join her husband, who after a year or two stints in Canada, found a job in the states. Lis brought with her the little Jen, who was 6 or 7 years old at the time. They befriended each other, taking their daughters to the same piano school and having them learn Chinese together.
Who would think that a young and blossoming life came to an abrupt end like this?
Jen’s memorial service was scheduled on June 24. In all her black shirt and suit, Em appeared in front of a small church thirty minutes’ drive away where the memorial service would be held. A long table was set up in the hallway by one side, collecting attendants’ name and signups. Em followed the line, scribbled down her name, and started scouring for Lis, who she had not met for ages. There at the entrance to the inner hall stood Lis, greeting and hugging passersby. She was in her black shirt, with golden threads fringing the edges of the thinly knitted skirt. Her hairs peppered with some gray were tied back in a bun. In her mid-fifties, Lis still looked gracefully beautiful. At a wave of the hand, Em briskly walked towards Lis and embraced her. A bit surprised as Em did not register online beforehand, Lis recognized her instantly and burst out crying. The sadness was ineffable. She only patted Lis’s sobbing back and tightened her arms around her in tears.
Em saw Jen’s boyfriend when he delivered the speech. He was the only witness, who knew what happened. But the recount of the accident was so short that Em only remembered two sentences: “ Jen slipped, and I could have held her… The helicopter came after about an hour…”
What could really happen? Em sat there, sunk in thought.
Rumors had it that it was not an accident.
You are absolutely right not to push Tim too hard. Looking back, I did a poor job in helping relieve J’s stress. She is sour that her four years high school was spent like that. Life is short. Youth is shorter.:) )
Very sorry to hear about Jen's fatal incident. Its implications are clear. I'm going to be even more patient with Tim and try to tell him that he is good enough.
“she saw the huge orange balloon glowing high above in the night sky,”，我猛一看照片以為是太陽， 馬上意識到不對， 是大氣球。 堅持用英文寫日記真是一個好習慣。 佩服暖冬。
謝謝聞香這麽仔細讀，這麽認真點評！人生的哲理無處不在，一花一草一木微不足道，也一樣給人啟迪。聞香也回來一起寫吧，我們一起過好餘生的每一天！聞香周末快樂！
昨日風雨交加，曇花卻如期獨自靜靜地綻放。隻是沒了賞花人，連我也忘了它。今早摘下這三朵尚未完全閉合的花蕊，心惜之。不是你不再美，而是人心便如此，忽視了身邊的擁有，忽視了默默無聞的陪伴。
“心惜之”。三字傾下百噸情感。
“忽視了身邊的擁有，忽視了默默無聞的陪伴”。多麽深刻的警醒。
暖暖好！《血色浪漫》我是在歐樂上看的，剛才查了一下，歐樂上又能看了。
https://olevod.org/voddetail/10497.html
我們活在當今世上，很多現象會讓人不解的，比如維兄文章裏所描繪的種種，所以有時會逼著自己去思考。其實人生的很多道理是靠我們去悟的，並非是從書本上學到的。能在紛亂的世界裏保持獨立思考的能力，發出獨立的聲音絕非易事。我們一起努力！真是要謝謝維兄對我的鼓勵和肯定，我們互相學習吧！
謝謝菲兒來讀我的英語部分。我們化的是淡妝，後來她們說化不化效果不明顯，這個不是演出，估計她們以後如果要演出會要求化濃妝的。我平日很少化，老土一個：）
也是落葉的季節了，一場雨，落葉滿地的。謝謝菲兒臨帖留言！
非常感謝維兄花這麽多時間留言討論，很高興與你交流！
其實學語言是要用心花功夫的。我有時候也迷茫，自己堅持讀英文和寫作是為了啥？有過一個念頭，要把自己的一生用英語寫下來留給女兒讀（她的中文畢竟有限），但是又覺得功底太淺寫不出自己希望的。暫且這樣吧。現在讀的英文更多一些。維兄的語言功底這麽好，不怕鏽呢。寫作有時候需要契機，激情，靈感，有時候經過時間的沉澱以後的東西反而更醇香。
第一張圖，好浪漫啊！暖冬女兒好貼心好懂事，中文真好！一地落葉有點密集症，四朵曇花倒是很優美。：）英文第一部分很歡樂，暖冬的描述很細膩，表演，化妝錄像很花功夫和時間，我有體會，但也很有意思。最後一部分看得讓人歎息。。。
維兄說的很有同感，多謝！
你說對歌詞的感覺，我也有同感。多說兩句，如果把《夢裏水鄉》的歌詞單挑出來讀的話，我們不會覺得它寫得有多麽的美，但配上了好的音樂，尤其是當它被一個好嗓子唱出來之後，味就全變了，變得讓我們有點不認識了。顯然，這其中，音樂扮演了一個比歌詞重要得多的角色。在這種和諧的氛圍中，音樂的張力，拓展了歌詞的有限魅力。而兩者的有機配合，則讓我們能在同一時間收獲雙重的美感。語言有它的蒼白無力之處，也有自己的極限。樂感，這個既看不見又摸不著的虛擬存在，這個很難用文字解釋清楚的神秘東西，主宰和決定了我們的感知。有很多的東西，是不適合用語言去描述的，它們隻能被意會而不能言喻。
說點題外話，記得當年為了準備托福（TOFEL）寫作考試，不知道練習寫了多少遍類似八股文樣的小作文，寫得賊TMD溜。考試拿了個第二高的分數：5.5分（根據考試中心公布的統計結果：全球97%以上考生的分數低於這個值），離最高滿分6分隻差一個台階（每個台階差0.5分）。記得有個哥們，當時他的托福總分接近滿分（記得好像得了650多分），但他的托福寫作成績隻得了個4.5分。
你的這篇博文寫的真好，樸實感人！還是養女兒好啊，貼心的小棉襖，知道疼人。不敢說養小子基本上都是養了白眼狼，但也差不多。一想起老媽是如何對自己的，自己又是如何對待老媽的，心裏感覺就像是被鞭子抽了一樣，太不對稱了，對不起母親大人！母愛大於天。