暖冬cool夏

這裏一年四季溫暖如春,沒有酷暑沒有嚴寒......
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A July' s Weekend Journal

(2017-07-23 11:04:33) 下一個
7:10 am. There I was again, sitting in the backyard with yesterday's WSJ,   a cup of warm water and a blanket, in this crispy summer morning. The sun is shining brightly beyond the backyard. The sky is cloudless blue. It will be another warm day today, maybe.
 
Woke up around 6:15 am, and spent more than half an hour doing nothing in bed, letting the body and mind drift afloat between the half dream and the reality. Finally got up before  the clock ticked at 7am and put the porridge in the high pressure cooker, preparing for the 皮蛋瘦肉粥, one of the daughter's favorite breakfast.
 
Last night, Mr. Fang, who is off chemo for his Stage 4 cancer, came again to the weekly Bible study. He sat next to me, and I asked about his current conditions. He said in a calm tone that the cancer has spread to the bone, and he is taking monthly injection to control it in the bone, but he stopped his chemo. His hair grows back completely, and he looks just like any of us. But who could tell that he is battling the late phase cancer and maybe his own fears. He is only 48 years old, and has three kids, with the oldest daughter at my daughter's age, and the youngest still in the elementary school. He talked about how indifferent the doctor is, who never explained to him and who simply followed the procedure without much care or willingness to spend a bit more time taking his case individually. The doctor seemed to be not happy when Mr. Fang refused to take his advice of continuing chemo endlessly till the body cannot stand it. He did not know if the doctor was not happy as his refusal of chemo stopped the doctor's money inflow or if there were other reasons. He said that he would like to take the risk of stopping the chemo, to have some quality in life. "Since continuous chemo could not guarantee the complete killing of cancer cells, it could only prolong. But to what extent? If I don't die of cancer in the end,  I either die of a destroyed immune system or live like a skeleton".  I asked if he could do something like controlling food intake, but he answered that there is no proof or scientific evidence that limiting your diet to veggies will keep cancer at bay. The only thing you can do is exercise and keep a good mood.
 
Coming back home last night, I talked to the daughter about him, whose daughter she is acquainted with. Though miracle did happen once in a while, I felt sad to just imagine a girl like my daughter may become fatherless one day.  My daughter tried to explain to me how cancer develops from a cell splitting uncontrollably, and I advised her how to stay possibly stress free, and exercise more in the future.
 
One more week before the daughter heads off to her first formal job and starts her new chapter of life. She has had  the most relaxed and best summer this year. She sleeps a lot, eats happily and reads at her pleasure.  One day when I shared an article in my blog, she mentioned to me that one day she may write her novels or short stories. Yes, live your dreams  to its fullest when you are young. The sky is the limit.
 
Back from buying other breakfast and grocery around 9:50 am, the daughter was in the kitchen area. I was cleaning the sink, and said to her in Chinese. "總覺得你在家日子不多,不叫你做家務。不知道媽媽是在愛你還是害你。” She responded instantly in a resounding and happy voice, ”媽媽你這是在愛我”. All right, I said to myself, enjoy the "love" then. The days will be soon gone. Like yesterday, you drove all the way to LA and back,  a very long distance for the first time, with Dad and Mom sitting by your side. Not long, you will be entirely on your own, financially and geographically, on the long journey towards your future and your dreams. Though we will be no longer by your side physically, you are always on my mind and in our blessings. 
 
We love you, baby !
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評論
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '菲兒天地' 的評論 : 菲兒好!謝謝菲兒!新一周快樂!
菲兒天地 回複 悄悄話 回複 'ziqiao123' 的評論 : +1非常感動!
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '彩煙遊士' 的評論 : 遊士好!明天爬不了了,倒不是天熱, 家裏有客。祝遊士暑安!
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '時隱時現' 的評論 : 時隱mm好!我是學英文出身的,其實也寫不過那些非英文專業的,隻是想練練筆。關鍵在於女兒要願意讀,她倒是現在願意學中文了。時隱mm 的中文和詩寫得都極好,極有內容。讓我們一起堅持!周末好!
彩煙遊士 回複 悄悄話 暖冬好!又是周末了。大熱天還爬山嗎?周末快樂!
時隱時現 回複 悄悄話 問好冬夏MM。你真棒!把身邊的所見所聞和感受用英文寫出來,讓下一代也能讀懂。這是個好方法。可惜我的英文太爛。
周末愉快!
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 'Once-always' 的評論 : Sorry, oncemm, I almost missed your comment. Kind of busy these days. You are absolutely right that life is so unpredictable. Each time when such things happen around us, it is a wakeup call. Let's never take things for granted and embrace and cherish every moment with gratitude. Thanks for your liking and visit.
Once-always 回複 悄悄話 Just got to read Cool mm's another nice English piece. The story about your church friend is painfully touching. Life is so unpredictable. There is nothing we can do but to embrace and enjoy every moment of it. The tenderness and subtlety underlying your words always touch my never. Your girl is lucky to have such a passionate mom.
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '7grizzly' 的評論 : Hey, my friend, your comment always has something new and enlightening for me to think. You are so right that given his conditions, it is very hard to keep exercising and a good attitude. I think he has a strong will to live on. Who wouldn't? The Bible study group used to have some people who work in the medical area, and they have the similar opinion regarding the chemo. I guess given the pain, a person who went through chemo once wouldn't easily take it again if they see no future. Let's keep our fingers crossed for him that it won't come back. Thanks for your loving heart and caring.
7grizzly 回複 悄悄話 Against cancer, not many cures work 100%. But if one has the will to live, especially at such a young age, he should try everything. It's very hard to keep exercising or a good attitude when one is in bad physical condition. Of course, your friend must have known that but does he really know?

Out of great love comes great courage (慈 故 能 勇). To be able to love is to be blessed, I think.
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 'erdong' 的評論 : 邇東好!生活在北美其實生活很單調的,也就這些內容。就一個女兒,做父母的,不愛她愛誰啊?謝謝邇東臨博。祝好!
erdong 回複 悄悄話 暖冬的周末很豐富。
對朋友的關心,對女兒的愛溢滿文字裏。
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 'ziqiao123' 的評論 : 子喬好! Thank you for your visit. The reason you are touched by my journal is that you too have a soft tender heart. I was saddened that night to know that it spread to the bone. He is only 47 when first detected last year. Life is fragile, Ziqiao. Let's make our every moment count.
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '獅子羔羊' 的評論 :
獅子好! Glad that you like those key words. Life is short, and we should enjoy and cherish every moment. Let's all live a quality life while we can without leaving much regrets. Thanks for your visit!
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '夕陽影裏一歸舟' 的評論 : 歸舟妹妹好!You are right that she will learn more once she has no one to rely on. That is the meaning of being independent. I actually advised the friend to seek a second opinion, but he said now after chemo, his virus in the blood shows normal and no doctor will take it till it is abnormal. It is really important to stay healthy in the u.s. Thanks for your comments.
ziqiao123 回複 悄悄話 My eyes welled up with tears while reading your essay , the love to your daughter, the caring to your friend, and the sentimental softness came from your heart, I\'m so moved.\n
獅子羔羊 回複 悄悄話 讀了好幾遍,幾個詞一直在腦海裏打轉:mother, daughter, love, enjoy and blessing 還有一句話living one's life to its fullest.

暖冬真是好媽媽,很讚同你的教會裏的方先生,quality over quantity!
夕陽影裏一歸舟 回複 悄悄話 Your love for your daughter is of no doubt. Once she is on her own, she will learn more. So sad for your friend, probably he should change a doctor or hospital. There is always hope. Bless him.
暖冬cool夏 回複 悄悄話 回複 '彩煙遊士' 的評論 : Thank you, Scholar You, for your liking and blessing. Thank you for your visit, and you have a great new week too!
彩煙遊士 回複 悄悄話 A very moving essay! Wish your daughter the best in her new job. Cheer up and have a wonderful new week.
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