500 Days of Summer (2009)

1) So to start: It's like The Great Gatsby, where Gatsby falls in love with the idea of Daisy (his illusion), rather than her real personality (She did not love him but only herself). (The version The Great Gatsby was cast by Leo DiCaprio.)

2). "If we, like Tom, are more in love with the idea of someone, then we really can't blame anyone but ourselves when they don't meet whatever expectations we've put on them."

So true (500 Days of Summer (2009) - the only love story you ever need to see. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7OlG-qKdAKw - Looking at the themes of fate, separation, and the individual—the fact that "we will figure it out" was what Summer and Tom needed from the beginning.

Sometimes God puts people in our lives and then makes them leave to teach us how life can be. No matter how cruel it may seem, guys, just remember it’s always for the greater good.

The phrase "put her on a pedestal" means to idealize, glorify, or excessively admire someone, often to the point of ignoring their flaws or treating them as perfect. It suggests unrealistic expectations and can sometimes lead to disappointment when the person doesn’t meet those high standards.

Examples:

Romantic Relationships: A man treats his partner as flawless, believing she can do no wrong. If she makes a mistake, he feels betrayed, not because she did something terrible, but because he held unrealistic expectations.

Celebrity Worship: Fans idolize a singer or actress, thinking she is beyond criticism. When a controversy arises, they either refuse to believe it or turn against her entirely.

Historical Figures: A leader or historical figure is glorified in textbooks, with only their achievements mentioned while their failures or flaws are ignored (e.g., worshipping a political figure without acknowledging their mistakes).

Workplace & Leadership: A company admires a CEO excessively, assuming every decision they make is genius. When the company faces issues, employees may struggle to accept that the leader is fallible.

Key Takeaway:

Putting someone on a pedestal removes their humanity and complexity. It creates pressure on the person being idolized and sets up inevitable disappointment when reality doesn’t match the ideal.

Movie Example: 500 Days of Summer (2009)

In 500 Days of Summer, the protagonist Tom (Joseph Gordon-Levitt) puts Summer (Zooey Deschanel) on a pedestal, idealizing her as his perfect soulmate.

Key Takeaway:

Like in real life, putting someone on a pedestal blinds us to who they really are. 500 Days of Summer shows how unrealistic expectations create disappointment, not the person themselves.

@primadonnaqueen3685
2 years ago
A major detail that i love in that movie is at the very end where Summer describes how she met her husband, and she said 'Tom was right'. Showing how Tom changed her perspective a bit just like how she changed him. From her perspective, Tom is the manic pixie dream girl. I love how you can tell there are two completely different stories happening at the same time, but you only see Tom's perspective. Summer still existed even when she was off the screen.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMG_M0PFNAg The analysis explores different interpretations of "500 Days of Summer," focusing on Tom's romantic ideals versus Summer's cynical realism. It highlights how perspectives on love evolve, emphasizing the importance of compatibility in relationships. Ultimately, both characters illustrate the complexities of love and the necessity of understanding differing viewpoints.

500 Days of Summer (2009), directed by Marc Webb, is a unique and captivating romantic comedy-drama that flips the traditional love story on its head. Starring Joseph Gordon-Levitt as Tom Hansen and Zooey Deschanel as Summer Finn, the film takes us on a nonlinear journey through their complicated relationship, filled with passion, heartbreak, and self-discovery.

This movie stands out for its fresh take on love and loss, using a non-chronological storytelling technique that keeps audiences engaged from start to finish. The chemistry between the leads is undeniable, and their performances bring the quirky and emotional script to life. 500 Days of Summer challenges the idealized notions of romance and offers a more realistic portrayal of love's ups and downs.

In this review, we'll dive deep into the film’s themes, performances, and innovative narrative style that has made it one of the most memorable rom-coms of the 21st century. Whether you’re a fan of unconventional love stories or just curious about why this film stands out in the genre, join us as we explore the highs and lows of Tom and Summer’s relationship.

Stars: Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Zooey Deschanel
Director: Marc Webb
Genre: Romantic Comedy, Drama
Year: 2009

@mjadekn
5 years ago
Some people are meant to fall in love with each other, but are not meant to be together.
Bro.
My heart.

@shannoncollier5768
6 years ago
The color scheme of this move is genius!
Summer is always bright and blue, whereas Tom is always grey, brown, or just plain colors. When he meets autumn, she too is of browns and greys. I think it’s awesome how that shows us (the audience) how they aren’t right for each other. Almost as if their color choice is supposed to represent their personality.

@HierophantMeme
5 years ago
It's like The Great Gatsby, where Gatsby falls in love with the idea of Daisy (his illusion), rather than her real persona and lifestyle.

I absolutely agree! This is such a good love story, especially as you grow up. When I was a kid, I saw this movie and HATED Summer for breaking up with him. But as I grew up and went through my first big break up, I really realized how TRUE this story is about love and "the one."

"Was Tom in love with Summer, or was he just in love with his idea of Summer?"

This is something I really relate to. I was in love with someone for years before I realised exactly that. I was in love with my idea of him and not really him. I came to this realisation some months ago, and so much emotional stuff and all this confusion came off my shoulders, though sometimes it comes back a little, and I need to remind myself that it's not true, that I unconsciously deluded myself and fell in love with this "idea." It's a really interesting and emotionally draining phenomenon, tbh.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FnIEsrFO0fc?

I feel you. I fell madly in love with a guy back in November. The relationship lasted only two months but we were very involved. Unfortunately, things continued after he broke up with me. He wouldn’t let me go, and I tried and tried but I couldn’t let go of him. We only cut off all contact last month, his idea, he’s still hanging on a bit, but I’m truly giving up on him because I know I have to. He’s just so draining.

I like the idea of him. We’re fairly similar people, but not in the ways that count. It took me a while to realise that because I clung to him so hard, I was severely depressed when we met, so I grew attached to him because he was the one thing in my life that made me happy back then.

My world changed when he broke up with me; I felt a kind of pain I think I’d been pushing down for years. It was the first time I’d given everything to someone, and watching him throw it away crushed my very soul. Looking back, him breaking up with me was the best thing that happened to me. It really did make me look at my life. I hold onto that fact as a reminder of why I shouldn’t be wanting him anymore.

The vision I have of him in my head isn’t real. He isn’t a bad guy; he has his good parts, but he isn’t right for me. He isn’t what I need in a boyfriend. I fell in love with a guy who showed me little to no interest, and after the breakup, I really saw how much anger and resentment he harbours.

I never took the red flags seriously; I never fell for all of him, just the goodness I perceived in him. I wish him the best, honestly. He’s going through a lot. However, I've discovered firsthand that intensifying my love for someone does not bring about any significant change. Wow, that’s really long. Just wanted to vent.

Holy Shit. You just made quite clear to me yet another metaphorical aspect of this film's message that is probably no accident: that is, the aspect of ''being in love with the idea of ''SUMMER'' (you know, as in the Season), which is also an all-too-common trope amongst many a soul (myself included), and from which some interesting parallels can be drawn between our idolizing of a particular individual, just as much as, say, a particular time of the year, because of what we feel (and sometimes rightly so), that this particular thing will do for us.

@Wakemeup456 I relate a lot with this comment too, and after the first time I watched this movie, and eventually found this video, I learned that I was also in love with the idea of someone. I realized this once I started to think the few times that I found something in her that I didn't like, that threw me off, or even hurt me, but since I had convinced myself that she was the one, I constantly looked the other way and believed that those things were worth struggling with, since 'she was the one,' until eventually those things escalated to a point of no return and we separated.

I ended up with a broken heart for a while, but now I know that it was my fault for putting those expectations in my head, and just like this girl says, I sometimes have to remind myself that and this movie along with this video help a lot.

I believe one must fix themselves and understand what type of attachment styles you have. You fell in love with someone. Doesn't mean you need to throw him away. Perhaps you lost "Limerence".

Love, lasting love in a relationship, is not about feeling butterflies, lust, attractiveness, both physically and emotionally. A long-term relationship is about companionship, providing peace with each other. Create a peaceful space with each other. That is the characteristic of being in a healthy relationship.

Even if you believe it was an immature relationship. That is where I keep saying "Limerence" is an issue, especially for young people. You lose limerence, and you feel like, "I don't like them anymore," "Flame has gone away," "It doesn't feel like when we're together at the beginning."

In a long-term relationship, it's normal to lose that feeling. Also stop with the FOMO mindset. Will be people's downfall in relationships. You can ask people who are older than you and married for many years and ask them how they feel about each other and the process in a long-term relationship and any advice.

我相信一個人必須修正自己，並了解自己屬於哪一種依戀風格。你愛上了某人。這並不意味著你需要把他丟掉。也許你失去了「Limerence」。戀愛關係中持久的愛情並不是一種心理上的小鹿亂撞、慾望或身體和情感上的吸引力。長期的關係是透過陪伴、彼此提供和平而建立的。彼此創造一個和平的空間。這就是健康關係的特徵。

即使你認為這是一種不成熟的關係。這就是我一直說的「迷戀」是一個問題，尤其是對年輕人來說。你失去了對彼此的迷戀，你會覺得“我不再喜歡他們了”，“激情已經消逝”，“感覺不像我們最初在一起的時候了”。在長期的關係中失去這種感覺是正常的。不要再有「害怕錯過 (FOMO)」的心態了。將成為人們關係破裂的根源。你可以問那些比你年長並且結婚多年的人，問問他們對彼此的感覺如何，以及長期戀愛關係的進展情況，以及一些建議。

So true, when I was younger, I thought, Man, yeah, Summer is a bitch. But over time I realised I conveniently forgot what Summer told Tom right at the beginning of their relationship. It might even be that whatever we saw on screen of their time together is totally biased towards Tom’s perspective, and Summer maybe wasn’t even having as much fun as we were led to believe. She probably did feel pressured by Tom too.

@Salemwaaa
5 years ago
This speaks a lot to me because I get attached too quickly and have trouble moving on, and I have trouble letting go of moments that are shared between me and someone; it caused me to imagine every moment where I could’ve been with that someone. But then it falls apart, and I’m back to waking up alone.

@fleadoggreen9062
4 years ago
I know; I wonder if it’s a guy thing. Girls move on so much more quickly, probably because it’s so easy for them to get attention; they just have to let the right guy into their lives.

@chichaaron1054
4 years ago
"You can't force someone to love you back the only thing you can do is give them your all without regrets."
Wow, that hits hard hahah

I actually think she learns two things. She learned that she didn’t love him but she also learned that love could be real. That the way Tom loved her was something she could feel. So that when the right guy for her came along she could acknowledge that Tom was right.

There are actually many things to point out…remember both of them are not entirely good or bad people... They are just people who are messy and complicated but Tom has shown to be hypocritical and also a bit smothering... If you look closely u can see that there are many other things too

I had a summer in my first years of college and was with her for two years. She would say we weren't in a relationship, yet I met her parents, Grandma. We'd celebrate Valentine's Day/anniversary, BUT she'd tell me we weren't a couple and "just friends." I was so in love with her. She was my first everything: first kiss, first "relationship," first time having sex. She'd say she loved me & then only saw me as a friend. I honestly thought she was the one. When we separated, I was defeated, broken. I would call off work because I couldn't get up; depression hit me so hard, and it took a while to get over her... Then I met a girl who ended up being my Autumn; I've been with her for 6 years now & still going strong.

https://youtube.com/shorts/RvJQIXaqAq4?si=GuJqXPBaCRoUwdKN? After the beautiful Summer comes the breathtaking Autumn, then the lonely winters, and if you can live through that, you will reach the fulfilling spring.

"Most people describe winter as lonely and melancholy, but if you see it positively, many lifelong bonds, such as marriages, are formed during this season."

I loved this movie. I didn't realize it when I first saw it, but he was me when I was younger... seeing only what he wanted to see, hearing what he only wanted to hear... holding on even though he knew things had changed, fooling himself that everything could change back to the way they were. I think I need to watch it again.

I think on the other hand, Summer knew that Tom was looking for true love and knew she couldn't do it, but strung him along for her own enjoyment as well. She wasn't totally innocent in this relationship.

"I am not looking for anything serious" She was looking for someone to have fun with and that's what happened. Summer is flawed and definitely had a lot to learn herself, but she was not dishonest from where she started until day 290. She never strung him along. Both needed communication and follow up questions, which it seemed that they avoided for a good part of a year.

@caldehh I think her actions and her words contradicted herself. She knew he was going for something serious and still went along with it. At the same time I get her because she did lay out her own terms, so her leaving couldn't be blamed on her. I think that's why the show was so great, it showed the ambiguity of human nature.

There could be the other interpretation in that she was starting have romantic feelings, but after a while things reconfigured and those feelings weren't the same. (Happens to a lot of people, including me.)

@caldehh still though she kissed him first and kind of lead him on when she knew he was looking for something serious and he wasn’t

@TheIandian Yes. This. She tells him she is looking for something casual after spending the whole day in an Ikea with him playing House. She dumps emotional loads on him that she's "never told anyone before." They're cohabiting, not just having sex, but staying over in each others spaces frequently. Those are some Very mixed signals. He is 100% in the wrong for projecting a lot of pretty sexist toxicity in the relationship, but she is also in the wrong for being toxically oblivious. She is playing a lot of intimate, committed Relationship games for someone claiming to want to stay casual.

They were both flawed, just like every relationship that doesn’t work out between 2 people. It’s about accepting, learning and moving on

? @Grandtheatrix kinda like weaponized incompetence, or obliviousness

隴山隴西郡

Examples:

Key Takeaway:

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**Movie Example: 500 Days of Summer (2009)**

Key Takeaway:

@JoshuaFagan

@Chololatation

@sif_2799

@AutumnFallsOver

@rigelb9025

@jonathanglls

@javierlandaverde4108

@dasaniwater9508

@Kordellcabe12

@lumalah9144

@jebusthecollector

@TheIandian

@caldehh

@TheIandian

@simonster-9094

@DragonshotProductions

@Grandtheatrix

@PandaPulse4

@Cosmo_noBones

APAD：What goes around comes around

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APAD: What Goes Around Comes Around?

Possible Interpretations of APAD in This Context:

Takeaway: