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“直升機父母”的獎勵

(2019-02-08 11:50:08) 下一個

Reap reward of “helicopter parents” “直升機父母”的獎勵

心理學家，社會學家和記者花了十多年的時間來診斷和批評“直升機父母”的習慣以及他們對學校的癡迷。他們堅持認為，超養父母會適得其反 - 創造一代無法獨立運作的壓力大的孩子。父母自己在感到內疚，恐慌和荒謬之間交替。

但是新的研究表明，在我們不平等的時代，這種養育方式帶來了改變生活的好處。這是西北大學的經濟學家Matthias Doepke和耶魯大學的Fabrizio Zilibotti所著的“愛，金錢和育兒：經濟學如何解釋我們養育孩子的方式”這本書的信息。確實，高辛辛苦，勤勞的育兒有一些毫無意義的過激行為，並沒有給父母帶來快樂。但做得對，它適用於兒童，不僅在美國，而且在世界各地的富裕國家。

Strict parenting gave way to an era of “permissive parenting” — giving children lots of freedom with little oversight. Why spend 18 years nagging kids to succeed if the rewards weren’t worth it? 嚴格的養育讓位於一個“寬容的養育”時代 - 給予孩子很大的自由，幾乎沒有疏忽。如果獎勵不值得，為什麽要花18年時間嘮叨孩子成功呢？
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Psychologists, sociologists and journalists have spent more than a decade diagnosing and critiquing the habits of “helicopter parents” and their school obsessions. They insist that hyper-parenting backfires — creating a generation of stressed-out kids who can’t function alone. Parents themselves alternate between feeling guilty, panicked and ridiculous.

But new research shows that in our unequal era, this kind of parenting brings life-changing benefits. That’s the message of the book “Love, Money and Parenting: How Economics Explains the Way We Raise Our Kids,” by the economists Matthias Doepke of Northwestern University and Fabrizio Zilibotti of Yale. It’s true that high-octane, hardworking child-rearing has some pointless excesses, and it doesn’t spark joy for parents. But done right, it works for kids, not just in the United States but in rich countries around the world.

It’s not enough just to hover over your kids, however. If you do it as an “authoritarian” parent — defined as someone who issues directives, expects children to obey and sometimes hits those who don’t — you won’t get the full benefits.

The most effective parents, according to the authors, are “authoritative.” They use reasoning to persuade kids to do things that are good for them. Instead of strict obedience, they emphasize adaptability, problem-solving and independence — skills that will help their offspring in future workplaces that we can’t even imagine yet.

Opinion