Office Romance

It surprises me when I read in the news that over 40% respondents of a survey said “yes” when they were asked if they ever had office romance experience. To qualify “office romance” in the survey, it has to involve sexual activities. That is amazingly high. Thinking about my manager has 3 people including me. I know I never had the experience, which would put 1-2 of my three close colleagues into the Yes category. I seriously doubt that the survey only included young hard working single people who do not have much time to date. The grass may look yummy in the next cubic. For those of us who are fed regularly at home, we are much choosy. Occasionally, I am glad to find hot and sexy guys around me. Married or not, they are the source of energy and color in the stressful working space.

Ray

Ray is a rising star in the large corporate. It never hurts to be good looking and popular. He is over 50 but no one would guess it. Most people thought he is about entering 40. As a German decedent, he also has the cute European boyish look. He looks fit, elegant and very approachable. He was a well known physician before he joined the corporate. Unlike other physicians, he is very easy to work with but as intelligent and confident as any good doctors would be. He talks gently with a smile all the time. Men like him and women have crashes on him.

Traveling with a man reveals a lot of the person. I did a lengthy trip with him in 7 Asian countries. He proved himself to be worthy of the admiration. He showed full respect to different cultures, flexible and patient when we had to handle unexpected inconvenience, funny and knowledgeable to haveconversations about many life topics in depth. He also proved that his boyish smile did reflect a young heart. I had many pictures capturing his playful even goofy postures with his smiles. At TaiPei 101, he tried to trick me after I told him the legend about ghosts in the building. In Tokyo, he paid double after he got a really good fortune slip in the temple – he framed the piece of paper after he came back to the office. His only weakness is Blockbuster coffee. At every stop, he needed at least one everyday. I joked that considering all his other expensive tastes, I had to pull him into a tea house to get him off the hook of the totally mediocre coffee. He said “bring me”. Funny enough, in all 7 largest cities we stopped, he could always find a Blockbuster, at airport, near hotels and shopping malls. I did not find a real tea house. He remained as hooked at the end of the trip.

Ray is married to a lawyer with 2 very young adorable kids. He keeps traveling around the world which is one of his passions. He is like a glass of full body red wine, looking extremely attractive and tasting smooth, ripe, sophisticated and leaves much behind to feel long after you swallow. He is the example that it’s getting better with age.

Jason

Jason was a Navy helicopter pilot before he turned into a sales person. He kept his pilot license and his military look. He is not tall, probably 5’6 or 5’7, and quite low key. The first thing you would notice is his intensive penetrating eyes. If you have the conversation with him, his eyes will be fixed with yours all the way through. You feel the earnest and courage through his eyes. To women, he is a total southern gentleman, respectful, polite, and soft outside but strong inside. He is the one who follows woman-first religiously and would always carry all things for a lady if they walk together. If he had been on Titanic, he would absolutely have given his chance of life to women and children.

I met Jason during my interviews for a job and then sit next to him for a year. He turned me to one of his admirers slowly. I always had a soft button for military men in uniform or without uniform. I felt much closer to him when he told me more about his background. Jason carries all the merits of a military guy, tough, strong, disciplined, dedicated to his team, and never shy away from responsibilities or break a promise. We both loved the show “24” and other action shows. We also discussed politics and social issues extensively even though he was naturally a republican and I was leaning towards democrats totally disgusted by what Bush had done at the time. We never had a real fight with our opposite opinions. Mostly it was because Jason was a very controlled man. And he was too man to have quarrel with a woman. He would always respectfully disagree and lay out his views slowly but calmly.

Well, he is totally a gent but not all of us women awlays ladies. One day, I walked into office and found his space trashed with large and small notes on all surfaces. Among the interesting things on the notes, one said “I am the bomb” and another said “Mrs. Jason think I am cute and hot”. It was another co-worker Janet who played the practical joke on him. There was traffic visiting his place that morning before he turned up, speechlessly looking at his space. Tongue in cheek, I asked if he wore the sign “abuse me” on his forehead when he walked among ladies. I certainly took my jab too. One evening after a team function, we were all walking to our cars. He kindly asked if he should take me home. He was probably thinking that I had too much wine. Maybe I did because I responded “Will Mrs. Jason object if I go home with you?” The rest of team laughed and through the dim lights of the parking lot, I could see him flushed.

Jason held the office job as a junior marketing manager during the time we sat together. He never really settled into an office setting. He still gave more than 100% of the effort. He is the brother of the company president but did not actively leverage the relationship for career advancement. He was never evasive about it either when people mentioned his sister, the president. For example, when we needed to make tough decisions, some time our VP would look at him in the team meeting and half jokily said “Jason, could you get the executive preference for us?” He would respond in his usual calm and slow voice “I just checked her personal line, Jasmine (the president) is busy”. He left the team after 18 months to go back to the south as a sales manager for the same company. He loves it and does it well.

Some of my team knew my fancy about him. One day after he left, Julie, another co-worker looked at me and said casually before a team meeting began “I saw Jason in the sales meeting. He was asking about you.” “Really?!” My eyes lighted and ears perked up and then the rest of the team started laughing.

Jason is the juicy grilled steak. It is the staple of American food, so delicious but not very colorful or fancy. You know that it will satisfy your craving time and time again. Never would you be disappointed by it.

Ben

I only met Ben once. We communicated through e-mails first. He was the owner of an agency who pitched a job to me. I was intrigued by the service they offered but was not committed to buy. When he said he would be coming for a meeting with another team, I agreed to talk with him in person. I was wowed by his look when he walked into room.

In his early 30s, he is medium built and absolutely handsome and sexy to my taste. His features have no flaws. Dark skin, dark hairs with deep set dark eyes, perfect nose not too big but strong, sexy thin lips, and medium jaw, cleanly shaved with dark shadow at the right place. He was professional dressed with well made suit and a quiet tie (don’t recall the details of the attire since I cannot move my eyes away from the face). He could be a model but without any trace of self indulging. I hate any man who has to check himself out in every mirror he passes and whistle for what he sees there. Rather, Ben acted totally ignorant about his killer look.

After a warm handshake, he turned his charms on as a salesperson. He did a great job. Usually I would be running away from all the handsome men as I giggle and brush without reasons around them. I did not feel the urge or any uneasiness with him. He was unusually articulated considering his extensive tech background and advanced degree. We had quite a good conversation. I was more interested in him as a person than the business capability of his company. We quickly connected. Both of us had advanced degrees in science before dived into business. Both of us well traveled and were curious about other cultures. Both of us liked edgy and risky approaches to solve issues. His selling was technical oriented, all arguments supported well by data and real cases. He sold without selling. Still I was partially distracted. While he opened up his computer to show some animation work his company did, I watched his hands and fingers. Medium built but well manicured fingers flied on the keyboards like a pianist playing a perfect piece for me. I went nodding and thinking, too bad, I can not ask him to loose the tie to show me a little more of the neck. I was certain it would be perfect like the rest of his features, perfect to kiss and bite.

We ended with a hand shake after one hour. I felt proud for myself. Except the jaw dropping first glance, I avoided making any silly comments or drooling all over him in the next 60 minutes. I also can proudly say that I resisted the beauty and made a decision not to use the service purely on business reason. I may reconsider if he had asked me out for a lunch. He did write another e-mail later that he could stop by again and chat. My response was “thank you for the kind offer, Ben. I am quite impressed by your capability and would definitely consider your service if any future opportunity arises. BR DD”.

Here is the unsent message: Ben, I was really impressed. You are the perfectly brewed coffee in the morning, waking me up with the smell so tempering. I know I will be even more excited drinking but I have to say no. I will be addicted and a bitter feeling will be in my mouth if I try. Very very attracted, DD

Ian

I never really had a crush for Ian. I wanted to mention him because he showed me kindness when I mostly needed. He gave me the encouragement when I was totally lost. I would have said yes if he ever had asked me out. He was the professor in training where I studied for my first advanced degree in US.

I actually cannot recall Ian’s name. His image had blurred in my memory. We were at the same department. I was inexperienced and naïve at the time to stare at any young men. Nor did I get the training to keep looking straight into the men's eyes while talking to them. I had clearer image of his mid-session vs. his face. He just quitted smoking at the time and gained a lot of weight particularly around his mid-session. Other than that he had very good hair, dense and smooth, unlike other westerns who start to show the shape of island by later 20s.

Ian came from the earthy Canada. He was just to reach 30s. The department felt more like the stuffy dark colored and heavily decorated English library. He may eventually turn (or already had by now) to be one of those old and overly serious professors. At the time, he was the fresh wind blowing into the library. Light skinned with a pair of glasses in a blue oxford shirt, he would not stand out in any street of America or a university. He complained about it. He hated to be taken as an American. Maybe we had the connection because we were both foreigners.

At the time I met Ian, I was struggling with my oral English just arrived to US in months. Frequently, I felt I was in the group but not the conversation. Most people were impatient to let me open my mouth or finish a sentence. I did not have the courage to slow them down. I would pretend to laugh when everyone else laughed instead of asking what was funny. Ian never sought me out but when we saw each other in hallways, he always took the time to chat with me. He was patient and truly interested to listen. He wanted to know how I felt and my views as a foreigner on all different things. It was quite unusual. Most times when I talked to professors in the department, I felt they were observing me with their chins up. They asked questions but wanted to end the conversations before answers were given. They just put up with me as an inconvenience before they could get on to their routines. That might be the way they treated all students. Ian never did. He made me feel as an equal and worthy of his attention.

He turned me totally to his fan on the day I met his girlfriend. It was a Friday afternoon. I was staring blankly at my textbook at the graduate student room alone. Most of the courses were not new to me but were taught in Chinese back in college. I had difficulties to take down notes in class due to the language barrier. Without the note, the mountain high textbook was mission impossible to review. I never failed any class in China but I had the fear that this would be the first time. I was to cry at the moment when I heard the knocks on the door. There he stood at the door with a skinny blonde. He introduced me to his girlfriend and added she was French. You could see how proud he was to show off his French girlfriend. Then he introduced me to her and said “she is the star student”. That short sentence was like the fireworks. It shook me. I was not heartbroken by the fact he had a girlfriend or depressed that he did not spend time to chat with me. He took off as soon as the introduction was done. The whole afternoon and many times in the coming months, I was repeating to myself “I am a star student. I am a star…”

Ian left the school several months after. He took a real job offer in another university before witnessed any of my academic success. He was the instant noodle bowl. It was not much but warmed up my stomach and heart in a cold raining night so quickly.

Lee

Watching the Henry Potter movies, I somehow remembered Lee. He would be the Henry Potter Chinese version with the same hair style and glasses. Lee was 32 when I met him but really looked like he was just graduating from high school (if you don’t pay attention to hunched back). Instead of doing Henry’s terrified stares, Lee smiled with his eyes. That was his magic wand. His eyes would go like halved circles like a carton charactor. Just don’t be fooled by the innocent look. He was really sharp and canny, mean and nasty if needed. Or he would not be the youngest professor in a top notch college in China. I nicked name him “the smiling tiger” (xiao mian hu).

And the tiger was hunting too. As Miss Austin put it, “a single man in procession of good fortune” certainly wants a wife. Lee openly talked about that he needed to find a girl to marry. There were enough girls in the college willingly to become his prey. I was one of the interns in his department for 5 months to watch the office romance closely.

He was totally top husband candidate with the status and economic foundation, and many more good qualities to make him the attractive prey himself. He completed his PhD in Japan. He had the potential to go even up. The sitting chair would retire within years. Rumor had him as the next head of the department. He also attended international meetings every year and said he would have brought the wife to go with him if he had not been single. On top of that, he was sweet and always gave attention and compliments to girls around him. He would have no problem to say “I love you” to a girl. Unlike other guys at the time, when those three words would totally embarrassed them to death before and after the marriage, he knew exactly what girls need to hear and would say them all. You have to give credits to his thick skin when he said he was willing to be the slave of love. Who can resist “Master Lee”? There were no gossips about his capability in bed. One would guess with his Japan experience, he should be exposed with all the techniques at least and should have learned some skills.

Master Lee was not a thud. He was a professor. He did not harass any girls. He would not take advantage of any girls unless they offer. Of course they offered, they washed his cloths, cleaned his dorm, brought him dishes, and many other wifely supports. Lee never refused. On the other hand, no one complained to his supervisor of any inappropriate behavior. Also, since there was no rumor about his bedroom capability, I had to believe that he did not break the line with any of the girls. Smart. I was sure some would offer sex too. Maybe Lee was manly enough to refuse. He got trained well in Japan. Were there any girls scouting him not manly enough to take the offer? Maybe. It was a time when having sex would mostly lead to a marriage. That would be a good way to get him.

It was quite a drama with hormone flowing high when the female interns (and only female interns) were invited to his house towards the end of the internship. We had lunch with his parents. There were total 6 of girls. Two were extremely brave. They flirted with him and schmoozed his parents from the starting tea all the way to soup (wrapping-up dishes in Chinese meal). Also shots flied between the two. Lee showed no preference and acted his usally self. I never had a boyfriend at the time and was totally amazed observing the drama. One of the girls was talking about how delicious one dish was and wanted to come back to learn the cooking with his mother. I had the spoon in my mouth, thinking that sounded like very good strategy to create private time, when I caught Lee’s eyes looking at me. I was not able to read what was in his eyes before he started to smile and told his mom to give me more soup. “She would be your daughter in law” he followed, very sweetly and maliciously. I should have never come to this party.

Lee did not dated me when I worked in that department. I was pursued by another teacher during the time. He did after I left the place. The romance was one date and my first date; he asked me to go for a dinner and afterwards walking in the campus, and then back to his room. All was sweet until we talked about marriage. He needed a Mrs. then and I was not ready to have it as my only identity. He took me back to my home on a bus without much talking further during the whole ride. He called to break up on the 5^th day after the dinner. I was told that he married another teacher in the college a year later.

Some of the most delicious and rare food got turned down occasionally. I would never touch foie gras even in the best French restaurant. Lee offered tea with milk and sugar at his infamous party. At the time I only had tea with just water and tea leaves, and I liked it my way. After many drinks since then, I gradually understand there are so many ways to enjoy the tea. Milk and sugar go well with the water and tealeaves after all.

To be continued.