七大原因——同樣的情況下為什麽有些人成功而其他人失敗了？
“Success happens not by chance, but because you were given a chance and took advantage of it.” - Kevin Geary
To most people, being born in a free country is the greatest gift. To others, it’s a fleeting thought. For the latter, I feel sorry.
Before I go any further, I must admit that not everyone will find success. There will always be those who sit around waiting for success to find them. There will be those who are simply not willing to achieve it. And then there’s the fact that success would not exist without failure. All of these things create what we know; a world where success and failure are experienced by different groups of people.
Everyone in a free country has the opportunity to succeed. So why doesn’t everyone succeed? Because success and failure are choices made consciously and subconsciously and failure is chosen by many for various reasons.
Here are 7 undeniable reasons why some people fail where others succeed:
1. They Define Success Wrong
“Striving for success without hard work is like trying to harvest where you haven’t planted.” - David Bly
Do you believe that success is won, innate, or earned? The answer someone gives can tell you a lot about them, and why they are where they are.
Success is won: if you believe that success is won, you experience animosity and envy toward those you view as lucky or more fortunate than you. You also believe that success is out of your control; it simply depends on a flip of the coin or certain circumstances.
How hard are you willing to work if you believe that success is won rather than earned?
Success is innate: people who believe success is innate often feel the same as those who believe it’s won. The only difference is that believers in innate-success have a more pessimistic view of opportunity; it’s trivial to them (we’ll go over this a little later). Why does opportunity matter if success is innate?
How hard are you willing to work if you feel your opportunity doesn’t matter and your chances of success are nil because of your circumstances?
Success is earned: the last group of people believes what we know to be true based on statistical analysis; success is earned. These people understand that in order to succeed, they must earn it. How do they earn it? They climb the mountain and utilize the same process others have used to achieve.
How hard are you willing to work if you believe success must be earned?
2. They Define Opportunity Wrong
“The ladder of success is best climbed by stepping on the rungs of opportunity.” - Ayn Rand
Do you believe that opportunity provides a possibility of success, a probability of success, or that it’s trivial?
Let’s ask the same questions we asked when we discussed success:
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is trivial?
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a possibility?
How hard are you willing to work if you believe the opportunity you were born with is a probability?
I hope this is coming together for you. I still want to go further though. I want you to see exactly how your views on opportunity and success work together to help determine your outcome.
People who believe success is won see their opportunity as a possibility, but sometimes as trivial.
People who believe success is innate see their opportunity as trivial.
People who believe success is earned see their opportunity as a probability, but sometimes only as a possibility.
In layman’s terms, the rich see success as earned and view their opportunity as probability. The middle class see success as earned and view their opportunity as possibility, but sometimes as probability. The poor class sees success as won or innate and views their opportunity as trivial, or in some cases as a possibility, but not a probability.
Of course, people don’t stay in one class their entire life. The people who move between classes tend to have the same outlook as those of the class they move to.
3. They Define Work Wrong
“The value of a man’s position is often determined by the number of people qualified to fill it.” - Kevin Geary
We just discussed two important terms: success and opportunity. In order to continue our discussion further, we must discuss another, “work.”
“But success doesn’t always come from hard work!”
Inevitably, people will point out that factory employees work harder than CEOs. Of course, this depends on your analysis of the word “work.”
Choose a corresponding term:
Physical Labor
Mental Labor
Labor
Those who claim that success doesn’t always come from hard work only acknowledge one aspect of work, physical labor.
Of course, work is labor, period. Excluding mental labor from the term work is biased and unfair. CEOs may sit at a desk, wear a suit, and enjoy the air conditioning, but that doesn’t mean they labor any less than the man in the shop room, it’s simply a different type of labor. Not accepting this is like making the argument that one who hates their job labors more than one who enjoys their job and the pay should be altered to make up for it. You see where this is going?
In terms of pay scale, people who run companies are worth a lot more than those who assemble products. Why? Because it’s easy to find people who can assemble products and it’s not very easy to find people who can operate multi-million dollar companies for a profit.
Needless to say, the man in the shop room wouldn’t have a job if the CEO behind the desk wasn’t doing his (and vice versa). The only difference is which job you’d rather be doing, and that depends solely on the choices you make throughout your life.
How do you think the CEO views success and opportunity? How do you think the shop worker views those same terms?
4. They Defeat Themselves
“To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.” - Henry Mencken
While there is a minority of people who actually choose to fail, the majority that fail simply make poor choices or have a poor outlook. Basically, for the majority, failure is a choice but not a decision.
I can’t possibly list all of the bad choices people make which lead them to failure, but a few to get you headed in the right direction are:
Abusing drugs or alcohol / addiction.
Not getting an education.
Having a poor work ethic.
Having a child too young or out of wedlock.
Immaturity / laziness.
Borrowing too much money.
And the list goes on, and on, and on…..and on.
Of course, there are also those things which are out of someone’s control.
If you’re born into an inner-city family and attend a poor school system, you obviously start out behind others. If you’re handicapped, your road to success may be longer and more difficult. But none of this bars you from success; I’ll elaborate on this later when we discuss circumstances.
Lastly, as our quote up top reminds us, many people defeat themselves simply by expecting defeat in the first place. They don’t expect success and it actually becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. For more on this, you might like my highly popular article; Your Life Sucks Because You Expect it to Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve it Right Now).
5. They Think Failure is Fina
“Success is the ability to go from failure to failure without losing your enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
“But, hard work doesn’t always equal success. Some people work really hard, but fail. They tried and didn’t succeed.”
Failure is a key ingredient in success. Those who don’t achieve success most likely quit after their failure. Quitting, of course, is a choice.
If you were to follow in the footsteps of a successful person, you would likely pass the remnants of multiple failures. If you followed in the footsteps of a failure, you would find their lifeless future at the feet of their first opponent.
So the question is, how hard and for how long are you willing to fight? There are no shortcuts, statistically. The vast majority of millionaires are self-made and far too many lottery winners are broke and worse off than they were before they won the lottery. Why? Because wealth is about behavior and money doesn’t protect you from failure.
If you want to succeed where other people fail, you have to step right over failure and keep walking. The people who don’t make it let failure defeat them. Failure becomes their end result because they refuse to walk any further.
Look at it this way; if you aren’t dead yet, there’s still hope.
6. They’re a Victim of Their Circumstances
“The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.” - Mark Cain
One of the biggest rebuttals given by non-achievers is that they are held back by their circumstances.
I don’t think circumstance is a fair argument though. Yes, you may be subject to circumstances that make it more difficult for you to succeed, but that doesn’t change the fact that you start with the same opportunity as others; the opportunity provided to you by living in a free country.
It’s also important to note that some people handle circumstances better than others. For instance, you can’t say that a handicap is a circumstance that prevents you from achieving when others with the same handicap have achieved.
Everyone has issues, circumstances, road blocks, etc. It’s all about how you deal with your circumstances and how hard you’re willing to work to overcome them. But the basics don’t change; you’re still in a free country and nobody is preventing you from achieving except for yourself.
Circumstance is also unimportant because it doesn’t determine finality. For example, a trust fund baby can lose his fortune with a series of bad decisions just as easily as a child from the ghetto can acquire a fortune with a series of good decisions.
Don’t be quick to judge others based on their circumstances. Instead, judge them based on their ferocity in overcoming those circumstances.
7. They Take No For an Answer
“Opposition is a natural part of life. Just as we develop our physical muscles through overcoming opposition - such as lifting weights - we develop our character muscles by overcoming challenges and adversity.” - Stephen R. Covey
First, you are given an opportunity. Then, based on that opportunity, you hatch a dream. And when you try to execute that dream, you meet your opposition. It is here on the battleground, facing the opposition, that success is either realized or lost.
Everyone faces opposition on their way to the top. The crack babies and the trust fund babies both have their own sets of problems. And you can’t assume that one faces more opposition than the other; everyone’s life and path to success is unique.
The one thing they do have in common is the opportunity for success. But, as you try to succeed, there will be people and circumstances around every corner that try to tell you no. The disability you were born with tells you no, your abusive parents tell you no, your pessimistic friends tell you no, your lack of self esteem causes you to say no to yourself, addiction tells you no, and so on.
The people who succeed are those who don’t take no for an answer. They shrug off the pessimism, they choose better friends, they put up boundaries with their family, and they surround themselves with positive people and things.
Conclusion
Success is possible for anyone who is willing to achieve it. There are many who want success, but there is a huge difference between wanting-to and willing-to. You have to be willing…
The other thing to remember is that your outlook and the way you define success, opportunity, and work play a large role in determining your outcome.
If you aren’t achieving, the first person you should always look to first is yourself.
“成功不是偶然，而是因為你把握住了一次偶然的機會。”——Kevin Geary
對多數人而言，應該為出生在一個自由國家而慶幸。對其他人而言，這不過是轉瞬即逝的幻想。對於這些人，我深表遺憾。
在我展開論述之前，我必須承認並不是每個人都會成功。有坐在那裏等著成功出現的人，也有完全沒想過會成功的人，有成功就有失敗，這就是現實。所有這些讓我們形成了這樣的看法：這個世界上，成功的人與失敗的人是不同的。
自由國家的每個人都有機會成功。那麽為什麽不是每個人都成功了？因為成功和失敗源自各種有意的和無意的抉擇。很多人的失敗原因是不同的。
為什麽在同樣的情況下有些人失敗而其他人卻成功了？下麵就是其中的七大原因。
一、他們錯誤定義了“成功”
“不想努力工作就想取得成功，就像不耕種就妄圖收獲。”——David Bly
你認為成功是贏得的，是注定的，還是掙來的？透過人們給出的答案你可以了解他們以及他們當前的處境。
成功是贏得的：如果你相信成功是贏得的，那麽你會仇恨嫉妒那些看上去比你幸運的人。你也會相信成功與否僅簡單的依靠擲硬幣或者特定環境，不是你能控製的。
如果你認為成功是贏得的而不是掙來的，那麽你願意付出多少努力？
成功是注定的：那些相信成功是注定的人通常感覺跟那些相信成功是贏得的人一樣。唯一的區別就是“成功注定論者”更加消極悲觀地看待機遇。機遇對他們而言微不足道（稍候我們會涉及到這個問題）。如果成功是注定的，那麽有沒有機遇又有什麽關係？
如果你所處的環境讓你感覺你有沒有機遇沒什麽要緊，而且成功的機會為零，那麽你願意付出多少努力？
成功是掙來的：最後一類人相信基於統計分析的正確觀念。成功是掙來的。這些人知道為了成功，他們必須付出。他們怎麽成功？他們沿著先行者走過的道路爬上巔峰。
如果你認為成功必須努力爭取，那麽你願意付出多少努力？
二、他們錯誤定義了“機遇”
“成功的階梯最好能夠踩著機遇的台階一級一級爬上去”——Ayn Rand
機遇帶給你的是成功的一次偶然機會，還是一種成功的可能？或者毫無意義？你怎麽認為？讓我們用剛才討論“成功”時相同的形式提幾個問題：
如果你認為那個與生俱來的機遇沒有用，你願付出多少努力？
如果你認為那個與生俱來的機遇是一次成功的偶然機會，你願付出多少努力？
如果你認為那個與生俱來的機遇是一種成功可能，你願付出多少努力？
我希望這些問題都擺在你麵前。我還想更進一步闡述。我想讓你正確地看到你對機遇和成功的看法怎樣共同幫助你決定你的收獲。
如果人們認為成功是贏得的，會把機遇看作一次成功的偶然機會，但是有時也會覺得毫無意義。
如果人們認為成功是注定的，會把機遇看得毫無意義。
如果人們認為成功是掙來得，會把機遇看作一種成功的可能，但是有些時候也隻是看作一次偶然。
在外行人眼裏，富人認為成功是掙來得，把機遇看作一種成功的可能。中產階級認為成功是掙來的，把機遇看作一次偶然的機會，但是有時也看作一種可能。窮苦階層認為成功是贏來的，把他們的機遇看得毫無意義，在一些情況下也看作一次偶然的機會，但是不是一種成功的可能性。
當然，人們不會一生都在一個階層，而是在不同階層間移動，而且與目標階層的人們觀點趨向一致。
三、他們錯誤定義了“工作”
“一個人的職位的價值通常由該職位所管理的人數決定”——Kevin Geary
我們剛討論了兩個重要的概念：成功和機遇。為了繼續深入，我們必須討論另一個概念——“工作”。
“但是努力工作並不一定會成功。”人們肯定會指出工廠職工比CEO工作辛苦。當然，這源於你對“工作”這個詞的理解。
請選擇一個意思相近的詞：
體力勞動
腦力勞動
勞動
有人認為辛苦工作並不一定成功，這些人隻是認識到了工作的一個方麵——體力勞動。
當然，有時候工作就是指體力勞動。從這個術語中排除腦力勞動的含義帶有一種偏見，是不公平的。CEO可能坐在一張桌子旁，穿著西裝，享受著空調，但是這並不意味著他們工作比店鋪裏的人工作輕鬆，隻是工作崗位不同而已。不認同？你是不是認為那些討厭自己工作的人做得工作比那些享受自己工作的人要多，應當增加薪水作為補償。你認為這將導致什麽結果？
根據薪資標準，管理企業的人比裝配線工人更有價值。為什麽？因為招裝配線工人很容易，但是找可以經營價值數百萬美金的企業獲得利潤的人就不那麽容易了。
顯然，如果辦公桌後的CEO不他的工作，店鋪裏的工人也就不會有工作，反之亦然。唯一的不同是你更願意做那種工作，這就要看你在一生當中做的抉擇了。
你認為CEO怎樣看待成功和機遇？你覺得店員又怎樣看待它們？
四、他們打敗了他們自己
“To expect defeat is nine-tenths of defeat itself.”-Henry Mencken
雖然有少數人選擇失敗，但是大多數隻是做了錯誤的選擇或者有錯誤的觀點。基本上，對大多數而言，失敗是一次選擇而不是最終結果。
我不可能列出人們作出的所有導致失敗錯誤選擇，但是有一些可以防止你走向歧途：
不要吸毒，不要酗酒
接受教育
堅守職業道德
不要太年輕或者未婚就要小孩
成熟，不懶惰
不要欠債太多
等等...還可以列出很多
當然，有一些事是不能控製的。
如果你生在城市中心的家庭，卻進入了一個糟糕的學校，顯然，你已經輸在了起跑線上。如果你患有殘疾，你的成功之路可能很長，也更加艱辛。但是這都不能阻擋你成功。在下麵討論“環境”的時候我會詳細說明這點。
最後，上麵引用的格言在提醒我們，很多人擊敗了自己僅僅是因為一開始他們就認為會失敗。他們不渴望成功，因而它事實上就成了對自我的預言。你要想了解更多，可能會喜歡我的一篇文章——Your Life Sucks Because You Expect it to Suck (and 10 Ways to Improve it Right Now)你的人生很遜是因為你認為它很遜（馬上改變它的10種方法），它還挺受歡迎。
五、他們認為失敗就是結局
“成功是屢敗屢戰的能力”——Winston Churchill
“但是，工作努力程度並不與成功成正比。一些人工作很努力，但卻失敗了。他們盡力了，卻沒有成功。”
失敗是成功之母。那些沒有成功的人總是在失敗後放棄。放棄，當然也是種選擇。
如果你跟隨成功者的腳步，你或許可以避免很多失敗。如果你走失敗者的老路，你可以在他們第一個敵人的腳下找到他們渺茫的未來。
問題是，你願意為之付出多少堅持多久？經驗證明，沒有捷徑。很多百萬富翁白手起家，很多中大獎的人卻比中獎前更加一文不值。為什麽？因為財富源於行為，錢並不能讓你免於失敗。
如果你想在其他人失敗的地方成功，你必須跨過失敗繼續前行。他們做不到的所以他們失敗了。他們不願繼續前進，所以失敗就是他們的結局。
我們可以這樣想，隻要活著，就還有希望。
六、他們出淤泥而“染”
“當你排開環境的紛擾找回自我的時候，你已經向成功邁出了第一步。”——Mark Cain
失敗者的最常用的辯解就是他們所處的環境妨礙了他們。
盡管我不認同環境是公平的——是的，你可能受環境影響，成功之路困難重重，但是這並沒有改變你和其他人在同一起跑線上這個事實，這個起跑線就是你生在一個自由國家。
另一個重要的事實是，有一些人可以更好的運用環境。例如，如果其他人克服了某個挫折並最終成功，當你遇到相同的挫折的時候，你就不能說它阻礙了你。
每個人都會遇到問題、狀況和障礙等等。一切取決於你怎樣對待周圍環境，你願意付出多少努力去克服它們。但是最根本的沒有改變，你在一個自由國家而且沒有人可以阻礙你成功，除了你自己。
環境也是不重要的，因為它不能決定結局。一個有錢人的孩子可能因為一係列錯誤的抉擇而前途暗淡，一個來自貧民區的孩子也可能因為一係列正確的抉擇而掙得一個美好的前途。
不要根據他們所處的環境而妄下判斷，而應該根據他們征服環境鬥誌判斷他們。
七、他們向困難妥協了
“對抗從來都是一種生活的一部分。就像我們通過對抗——舉起重物——來鍛煉身體的肌肉，我們通過戰勝挑戰和逆境來鍛煉我們的意誌。”——Stephen R. Covey
首先，你碰到一次機遇。然後，從這個機遇中你看到一幅藍圖。當你嚐試實踐這個藍圖的時候，你遇到了阻力。勇敢麵對挑戰，這是一場戰爭，要麽成功，要麽失敗。
每個人在通向巔峰的路上都要麵對挑戰。窮人和富人的孩子都要麵對各自的問題，你不能斷定其中一個比另一個遇到的挫折多，每個人的人生和成功之路都是不同的。
他們所具有的共同點就是成功的機遇。但是，當你努力獲取成功的時候，總有各種人和狀況從角落裏冒出來阻撓你。先天的殘疾阻撓你，嘮叨的父母阻撓你，悲觀的朋友阻撓你，缺乏自信自尊的你也在阻撓你自己，毒癮也會阻撓你，等等。
那些成功的人都是哪些從不向困難妥協的人。他們從不悲觀，他們選擇更好的朋友，他們與家庭劃清界限，他們積極的麵對周圍的人和事。
結論
對於任何一個渴望成功的人而言，成功都是可能的。有很多人想成功，但是“想”和“渴望”有很大不同。你必須渴望...
另一件需要你記住的事是，你的觀念和你定義成功、機遇、工作的方式是決定你的收獲重要因素。
如果你沒有成功，要永遠關注的第一人首先就是你自己 |
|
