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生怕閑愁暗恨,多少事、欲說還休。 今年瘦,非幹病酒,不是悲秋。
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我的奧斯卡 (12) ——最佳電視劇獎

(2005-05-16 14:11:18) 下一個

另一部我挺喜歡的電視劇是《中國式離婚》。看這部片子的時候正是我和老公(當時還是未婚夫)住在一起,準備結婚的時候,所以特別有所感觸。可能有的人覺得林小楓太過於折騰,用上海的話來說,叫做“撮”,所以才把生活弄成這樣,自食其果。可是靜心的想一想,林小楓其實本來是一個很好的主婦,一邊工作,一邊承擔著家裏的大部分家務。這已經比我能做的多多了。而在宋健平工作更忙之後,她放棄了自己的工作,一心一意的隻是打點整個家,這是很大的犧牲,而這些,得到的回報卻實實在太少了。宋健平把讚賞欣賞都給了其他的女人(大多數人都容易範這個毛病)。其實林小楓這樣折騰,隻是希望能得到宋健平的一點溫柔,我不知道為什麽對妻子說一句,“你辛苦了”或者“你很漂亮”或者“我愛你”或者“我錯了”就那麽難。在林小楓吵吵嚷嚷時,宋健平隻是沉默相對。一天中午吃飯的時候,和同事聊起婚姻生活,她說起,最討厭他宋健平式的沉默了。我們兩個人都會心的笑了。

 

可能真的是因為男女有別吧,女生是特別需要別人的認同的,而中國的男生好像都不是很願意說,覺得隻要辛辛苦苦,掙錢養家糊口就是好了。可是真的不是這樣的。在美國,丈夫會讚揚妻子的手藝,讚揚她的相貌,讚揚她地工作,讚揚她的智慧。我並不是崇洋媚外,可是在看到那些幸福的家庭,確實讓我很眼熱。

 

現在,大部分的人已經不再太多的擔心生計,而更多的需要感情上的交流和關懷。我是真的希望男女雙方多了解對方的感受,都能夠改進自己的行為,減少矛盾,幸福快樂的在一起。也許是由於我是女方,所以尤其覺得男方有很多特別需要改進的地方。不過作為男人,也確實應該更gentle,更愛護尊重女士。我自己在看了這部片子之後,有很多心得,也改進了不少自己的不是。其實我覺得有些時候,我和林小楓挺像的,我老公也和宋健平挺像的,不過我們一直都在改進,這就是所謂的磨合吧,這個過程真是挺痛苦的,好幾次我都覺得走不下去了,不過我老公很堅持,是這一份堅持讓我們走到今天,我很感激。

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鳳凰台上 回複 悄悄話 Hehe . . .

It is perfectly ok with me. My husband have not watched the show with me either. But still he improves. :)
m38 回複 悄悄話 very good advise except i will not watch that show for sure. i know that one sweet word, a birthday card go a long way. it is very nice chat with you about that issure.
鳳凰台上 回複 悄悄話 Dear, I encourage you to say that to your wife. You will lose nothing doing that. On the contrary, it makes your beloved one happy. Isn't it a nice thing?

Moreover, I encourage you to watch the show with your wife and talk about it. I hope both of you could learn how to communicate with each other. I became more tolerate to my husband than before. It is not only because of the show, but also all the quarrellings, unhappiness... Anyway, I do not ask him to say he loves me any more. I try to feel from what he did. It might sounds more reasonable to you. But deep in my heart, I still long for the sweat words. It is a little pity to me... Think about it. I guess your wife have the same feeling as I do.

And may I warn you, I can perfectly resist the external temptation morally. However, mentally, hearing the nice words, which you guys do not say, does touch some part in the heart.
m38 回複 悄悄話 i did not watch that tv show and really do not encourage my wife to see that show. i myself am a gentleman and a husband and always am quite at home. it is just my nature of being quite all the time. but i am good listener. my wife from time to time get mad about me not saying enough of those words like " i love you" i always told her that is just culture thing. we are different then those people living in western culture. we did not put those words on mouth all the time. that does not mean we do not pay attention. I hope all can be more reasonable.
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