【搞笑】I Am Chairman Mao

 

By Huilan

I feel bored today. I want to give a speech to my people. All of them wouldn’t hear me, so I am only able to talk to myself.

I am Chairman Mao. I am from China, a great country. My country has a very old history and a bright culture. All my people are kind and work hard. They worked under me for a long time. My people and I always loved each other.

In 1949, I let my people to build a “new China”----The People’s Republic of China. It is a great socialistic country. At that time, all people in this country had simple habits and happy life. In fact, they had no property themselves, but they had nice clothes, delicious food and the developed thoughts. They were not selfish at all. At that time, all my people had a wonderful life.

My people felt good everyday after 1949. They were singing and dancing, for they felt fortunate in their new life. In fact, I was the God of everybody. I came from my people’s heart. They always called me “The Red Sun”. Each time when I heard of this, I was very happy, and then I just wanted to write more poems.

I was a famous poet in the world. Of course I loved women who lived in my country. I gave each woman all the rights as a man. I had given each of them the best fortune and then all of them had it. My words were always the law. You can imagine how powerful and lovely I was!

I liked order people all the time. I was the Chairman, I had the biggest right and power. Of course I always had so many reasons to use them, and I had already used them as well as I could.

I was so busy every day, with meetings, interviews and many kinds of activities. I didn’t like my people to learn things and to know more about the world out of China. Therefore, one of my favorite jobs was making many kinds of political movements.

Everything has changed since 1976. I decided to retire on September 9, 1976. In fact, I didn’t want to go home so early, but it was my time. Another god wanted me to go back and get-together with the ancient Chinese emperors. I had no choices.

        The new heads of China have been leading my people in a different way. Most of my people have changed sine then. They speak what they want. They sing unpleasant songs. They do too many things, which I didn’t allow before. They love money better than anything else in the world. Many couples get divorced now, and they all have changed into the selfish people totally. I am so upset when I think all about these each time.

I have been living in another world, in Beijing since 1976. Every day I see thousands and thousands of people who come from different places, to come to Beijing and look up at me. So I still could know what has happened in my country everyday. I can’t stop worrying about my country and my people. I don’t know what I should do. Or, to be more exact, I am really having mixed feelings about all of these things right now.

Well, I feel pretty tired now. I won’t want to talk more today. I think I’d better take a good rest. I believe that I will rule my people again someday in the near future. I know that.

 

[惠蘭]

嗬嗬,多謝騎樂姐姐!

[stillthere]

寫得好！
寫得好！

[惠蘭]

寫著好玩兒的,嘿嘿，開心就好！

[胡渙]

你怎恁逗呢::)) 看來這兩天心情不錯。